Call me by my bloody name!

[roarityroar]

Aibu

My name is Alexandra. (I'm happy to say that here as I don't post personal stuff). Not Alex. I sign my emails Alexandra. I introduce myself as Alexandra.

so why t' feck am I always called Alex? In response to emails I have clearly signed with my legal, preferred name??! why do people shorten without asking?! I wouldn't, it's rude.

Gahhhhhhhhhhh.

AIBU to want people to call me my actual bloody name?

Alexandra is not "snobby", "fusty" or "formal" UnderbeneathsiesTheMistletoe , and in any case your (or anyone's) personal feelings about a name don't give you the right to change that name against the wishes of its owner!
And you'd assume someone wasn't someone who actually is a human being who isn't afraid of getting stuck in, and doing some work on the basis of their name. Wow.

Totally agree with you OP. People shorten my name to Rach. It is not something I answer to or recognise as my name. I correct politely once and after that ignore any requests/calls for Rach. It's never made me feel ostracised as a result!

Mind you, when they do use my full name they usually spell it wrong.

People always Frenchify my name.

It's a well known, if slightly boring name, with a couple of easy diminutives, but instead of calling me any of those, I get the French version.

Think Raquel instead of Rachel.

There's a girl in my work who hates getting her name shortened. We didn't realise it annoyed her quite so much until she got on the mic at the Christmas party (after being introduced as Alex) and shouted "MY NAME IS NOT ALEX, IT'S FUCKING ALEXANDRA!!!"

Now forever known as Fucking Alexandra

It's not unreasonable to set boundaries around your name/what you answer to. DS is called Julian. He has never been called by a shorter version, because he hates his name to be shortened. Perhaps it's telling then that the only person in our lives who has ever pressed the issue (calling him Juju, which he DESPISES) is the person who also consistently disregarded both his and my physical boundaries.

It's not nice to ignore or disregard someone's wishes around their own body, person, self, name. No matter what your feelings about said wishes, you shouldn't get to overstep people's clearly stated boundaries without consequence.

I worked with a Karen (spelt just like that) She wanted it prounounced Car-ren. Not Karen, not Kaz, Car-ren and went to great long lengths to correct us each time we said her name how it was commonly said and spelt mispronounced it. There were several Karens as it was a large company, all were lovely, open, friendly women. She was not. 😒

By all means be particular, correct people if you must but I'm afraid they will be behind your back.

I get called so many variants, including Christine (my name is not Christine)

Have a family friend who was taught at school to write Benjamin (not actual name) in reception. This is all very well except his name in Ben. Full name. No jamin. Surely the teacher could see that on the register.

When I introduce myself I say "Hi, I'm Jen" (again not actual name.) People always ask me what I prefer even though I just said Jen but whatever but I suppose that's because there are two shortened versions of my name. I always say "I prefer Jen, will answer to Jenny but hate Jennifer. Do not call me Jennifer!"

I loathe the shortened version of my name, thankfully it doesn't happen often in this country and only usually takes one correction to put a stop to it. I used to live abroad and it happened all the time, people would read my name and then say the shortened version even though it was there in full in front of them, arghhh! It's only a 2 syllable name, not hard to say and they shortened it to a 2 syllable name.l, so saving absolutely nothing.

The only person who can get away with it is my mum, she's allowed, I'll even go so far as to say I like it, lol

I've been trying to write this post for ages and the more I think about the more I feel that names aren't just names, as a PP said, it's an outward sign of how you want to be perceived, just as how you dress is.
We'd all, rightly, be massively offended if someone made us change our clothes or wear more or less makeup because our current look didn't suit them so why is it OK to change someone's name because it doesn't suit?
A name is a central and powerful part of identity.

I'm with you all the way, I'm Jacqueline and it is always, without fail, shortened to Jackie. I stopped fighting it in my teens but insisted that it was spelt Jacqui so I could at least have some say in my name!

a new colleague asked not to be called DI - because it sounds like Die - I can see where she's coming from

Agree Crazycavalierlady
I am always called by the shortened version of my name by lots of people. I never introduce myself or write the shortened version even on cards.

I really dont see it as a problem, they are really just being friendly and affectionate.

Its like the people who are on the babyname board, who say they never want their childs name shortened, or they pick the nickname/shortened name before the birth, they should come over as very controlling and not very nice.

I think it's ridiculous that asking for your full name is considered unfriendly. What is unfriendly is wilfully ignoring someone's wishes regarding what they want to be called.

By all means be particular, correct people if you must but I'm afraid they will be behind your back.

Please don't assume everyone will be like that. I'm not. If people tell me the name they want to be called by, or introduce themselves in certain way, I pay attention and do my best to call them the name they want. It's simple good manners.

Those of you accusing people of being precious for not wanting their name shortened are the ones I consider bad mannered. It's not up to you to unilaterally decide to change/shorten someone else's name. It most definitely doesn't make anyone uptight for preferring to use the long version of their name.

I personally use my long name on emails, and also use a NN on emails and everywhere else. I check the email signature box of incoming emails to see how people call themselves, and use that. I do, however, sometimes insist on the long version with someone I dislike.

roarity it is unfriendly because you are automatically putting a barrier up and dictating your relationship with them. As i said previously, im a Christine and only ever refer to myself as Christine, even on cards to my family, but over the years most of my work colleagues always called me Chris or one of my favourite colleagues ever used to call me Chrissy. I saw it for what it is, as sign of friendliness and affection.

I'm Christine not Chris! I always correct people, Chris makes me flinch as my abusive exh called me that. The only shortening I answer to is Steen with my family because it's what my baby sister called me when she was little

How is it putting up a barrier? I hate being called Alex. Hate it. Why is correcting someone politely and explaining I don't like shortened form putting up a barrier ?

My own mother can't get mine right. She often shortens my name to Chris. My name is not Chris. It never has been. She should know, she named me!
I love my full name and hate the shortened version of it.
Anyone else tries to shorten it and I simply and politely correct them. Every single time. No one does it at all now.

My sister gets her name shortened a lot. She is Rebecca not Becky. She lets me call her Becca because that's what I called her as a young child and she lets my DD call her Bec Bec (possibly outing myself here). She calls me by my full name, as does her DP. They are the only two who do it. Even my DM has given in and she hates shortening my name.

I'm Georgia. Not 'Georgie'. Why do people think they can just arbitrarily change my name?

The only people I allow to use a shortening of my name are close friends or my brothers. However, I think Kiwis might have some kind of cultural need to do it, as the only people I ever meet who naturally nickname me are from NZ. Is this a universal truth, or is my (Scottish) name just a Kiwi Nickname Must?

I hail from the Mersey area. I don't know how many times this would happen:

"Iya, luv, what's yer name?"

"Susan. "

"Alright, Sue, take a seat there, will yer, luv. "

I now live in Scotland. I have never had my name shortened here.

Jesus Christ. The people on here who feel they can change a person's name just because they don't like it or have a stereotype about it. Please have some pretty basic respect for others.