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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Call me by my bloody name!

166 replies

roarityroar · 02/12/2016 17:09

Aibu

My name is Alexandra. (I'm happy to say that here as I don't post personal stuff). Not Alex. I sign my emails Alexandra. I introduce myself as Alexandra.

so why t' feck am I always called Alex? In response to emails I have clearly signed with my legal, preferred name??! why do people shorten without asking?! I wouldn't, it's rude.

Gahhhhhhhhhhh.

AIBU to want people to call me my actual bloody name?

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 02/12/2016 18:09

Chill out Lexy, people are just trying to be friendly Grin

I've got a weird Irish name and all I can say is learn to gently correct, repeat, gently correct, repeat- eventually they'll get it.

Alonghardrun · 02/12/2016 18:12

I hate my shortened name. I would reply to them calling them something else. Dear Bob, when they are called Chris.

ArmySal · 02/12/2016 18:13

Indeed, Janey. My dad calls it me often, anyone else I'm just Angry

Isawahatonce · 02/12/2016 18:13

I'm afraid I'm the opposite - I much prefer the shortened version of my name to the full version but everyone calls me by the full version and I always panic and introduce myself as the full version because that's what everyone (except my parents) calls me. I've resigned myself to it.

Chilver · 02/12/2016 18:16

My DC has this problem. They hated the shortened name everyone used so much that they instead chose another variation/ shortened name and decided to call themselves that instead of their real name. Changed it at school and everywhere! They are 4yo.... at least they now have control over their own name (but I'm still struggling to use the new name!!)

SkyLucy · 02/12/2016 18:18

I'm Jen. Not Jenn (why the extra 'n'?!) or Jennifer (but I'm 'not allowed' to change work's global address book) and CERTAINLY NOT Jenny/Jennie.

YANBU. These are our names, our choices!

kaitlinktm · 02/12/2016 18:19

I usually shorten my name, even at work, so why then do people take it upon themselves to shorten it even further? Eg, Elizabeth > Lizzy > Liz. It was especially galling to have it done to me by someone who insisted on the full Elizabeth (equivalent) for her name. I HATE the very short version of my name, I think it sounds horrible.

I think some people are over familiar too quickly and like to give the impression they know you very well when they don't. Angry

GashleyCrumbTiny · 02/12/2016 18:19

DH is David and invariably gets called Dave. Passes me off more than him! (He doesn't like it but I think is resigned now.) To be fair, a lot of people put their full formal name in their email signature when they don't actually go by the full version. So I can see why people don't always twig with that one!

Lexilooo · 02/12/2016 18:20

Definitely not unreasonable! I hate people calling me by the shortened versions of my name apart from a few very close relatives who use a less obvious abbreviation. My own DH doesn't shorten my name, why should some random work colleague do it!? So rude!

WLF46 · 02/12/2016 18:24

Just correct them. But keep in mind that it will mean you are considered to be fussy and uptight. People shorten your name because they consider "Alex" to be more informal and friendlier than "Alexandra" and they presume you are comfortable with it. Most people don't object when their name is shortened in this way, but if it upsets you so much then just point it out.

BigFatBollocks · 02/12/2016 18:24

My name can be shortened, which I dislike (which is why I gave all but one of my kids names that couldn't be shortened, except for my sons name as I named him after my dad).
It really pisses me off (as I have never, nor would ever refer to myself by this name as it is, to me tackie, think icki on the end).

I wouldn't dream of doing it to someone else either.

Original poster
roarityroar · 02/12/2016 18:28

It doesn't upset me. It makes me want to stab them in the eye ball. My best friends sometimes call me Al (or Albert or almond) but that's different. My parents always called me Alex but now call me Alexandra because they know I don't like Alex.

Glad to inspire a new generation of K Dizzles!

I feel for you Rebecca.

OP posts:
BigFatBollocks · 02/12/2016 18:29

WLF - what do u mean most people don't mind their name being shortened? Could u point to the research that has been done on this or is it just what u think? (coz u do it).

Original poster
roarityroar · 02/12/2016 18:35

I wouldn't mind if someone shortened my name to Balonz. I mean I am from Surrey
(My favourite Fred ever)

OP posts:
sonlypuppyfat · 02/12/2016 18:35

I get called Debbie it gives me the absolute fucking rage. I could kill when I hear it, how is it shorter than my full name!!!?? Fucking Debbie I fucking loath it

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 02/12/2016 18:37

I'm the opposite my name's Clare and I dispise the fact that it can't be shortened. Ive never forgave my parents for calling me Clare.
As far as im concerned. Its taken away my right to use a preferred name. I haven't even got a MN either.Sad

SocksRock · 02/12/2016 18:40

Hah! I get it the other way round. My full legal name is just Alex. Not short for anything (and yes, I'm a laydeeee...). I get everyone completely baffled when I say it's not short for anything. I get called Alexandra, Alexis, all sorts. And when I try to explain that it's none of those, people are all confused. It's not that hard!

Shockers · 02/12/2016 18:44

I sometimes write about our day on fb. My (teenage) children have names which are very easy to spell, but my friend always spells them wrongly (think ie ending instead of y) in her comments, despite the correct spelling being in the original post. We've been friends since they were little!

She bought me something very special (personalised) for my birthday... yep, she'd spelt my name wrong.

Not quite the same as our names being shortened, but still irritating!

allowlsthinkalot · 02/12/2016 18:47

I deliberately gave my dc names that can't be shortened after a lifetime of confusion that I did my best to end by changing my name to the shorter derivative by deed poll. I had never been called by the name on my birth certificate in my life.

HerRoyalFattyness · 02/12/2016 18:48

socks my DS is just Alex. It annoys people no end. They just can't seem to grasp that it isn't a NN, it's his actual name.
The only thing he could now be shortened to is Al, and I think he'd give Hmm that look if someone did!

Arfarfanarf · 02/12/2016 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheWayYouLookTonight · 02/12/2016 18:49

I use a shortened version of my full first name, but some people (interestingly only ever men, no idea why) take it upon themselves to shorten it further for me! Its obvious I've shortened it already, why can't they stick with that!

DonaldStott · 02/12/2016 18:52

Only my family call me by my shortened name. Nobody else is allowed. It sounds weird if someone else calls me the shortened version and tbh I wouldn't answer to it. Not out of rudeness, but just for the fact that I am not used to it at all and I don't recognise it as my name outside of my family.

NavyandWhite · 02/12/2016 18:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mypussyiscalledCaramel · 02/12/2016 18:59

I have the opposite problem I detest being called Alexandra. In fact my mum told me I was called this because she liked Alex, so I said wtf didn't you name me that then. Took my grandparents yonks to call me alex
I also hate being called al, so if anyone does they get called Betty.