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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this really Fucking Unbelievable?

232 replies

ragingsister · 02/12/2016 09:12

Just need some perspective!
So my grandma is in hospital with suspected DVT. I was chatting to my sister about when I'd be able to get to see grandma over the weekend and said I wouldn't have much chance as DH is going on an all day and night bender on Saturday with his mates. I can go see her Sunday afternoon and have already seen her last night.
She went mental! Said it was Fucking Unbelievable and was a sad indictment of my life?

For context dh has the all dayer once a year and it's a tradition with his friends. He's not the type to be out all the time. I'd grandma got seriously ill he would obviously cancel but for now she is stable in hospital.

She's not talking to me now and I'm not sure if I'm totally underreacting to DH going out?

OP posts:
Branleuse · 02/12/2016 12:01

YANBU, you already have enough on your plate and are visiting a decent amount. Your sister should butt out. Its none of her business

pictish · 02/12/2016 12:04

So this is about your sister's dislike of your husband...really.

Yeah it's very manipulative of her to exploit the circumstances to indulge her personal agenda.
Bollocks to that. Bash on!

Chocness · 02/12/2016 12:08

You know what to do OP but it's your sister clouding your judgment. I'd go along with your plan but have a frank conversation with her about butting out of your family affairs. It's not her place to tell you how to live your life.

sophree · 02/12/2016 12:08

You have no duty to be anywhere for anyone.
When you are able to and if enjoy visiting your grandmother do so.
Everyone else needs to just fuck off.

shallichangemyname · 02/12/2016 12:10

English I think you need one of these for your Xmas day out - I just got one for my DP's Xmas Jumper Day Out With His Friends Which He Only Gets To Go On Once A Year
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/like/192031721362?lpid=122&chn=ps&adgroupid=39159866351&rlsatarget=pla-268911521218&adtype=pla&poi=&googleloc=1007460&device=c&campaignid=698622927&crdt=0

Chocness · 02/12/2016 12:15

That's ace Shalli 😂

Original poster
ragingsister · 02/12/2016 12:16

Don't encourage him Shall!!

OP posts:
shallichangemyname · 02/12/2016 12:16

We all need one of these outfits for Christmas!

DixieWishbone · 02/12/2016 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ahickiefromkinickie · 02/12/2016 12:27

No one else is cancelling anything. Dad is still working all weekend, BIL is still working shifts all weekend. I don't understand the outrage but I'm known for issues going straight over my head.

Ah, but you're a woman, OP, therefore you must make time.

YANBU, btw. Tell your sister to speak to your DH if she's so pissed off. Childish idiot.

CelticPromise · 02/12/2016 12:28

OMG I can't believe some of these reactions. OP you are fine in what you're doing. I have elderly relatives who have spent weeks in hospital with serious problems, life continues outside the hospital and plans do not get cancelled, and 40 minutes drives each way plus an hour visit are not feasible every day (and yes, sometimes that is because of social plans and not work or childcare). Obviously plans could change if things became more serious!

Arfarfanarf · 02/12/2016 12:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

megletthesecond · 02/12/2016 12:39

3 visits in 4 days is fine, yanbu. The entire family can't go every day.

My aunt has been in and out over the last two months and it's really hard to see her in visiting hours around work and the dc's.

shovetheholly · 02/12/2016 12:43

"She loves to hate him"

In that case, you need to take that big ball of shit-mixed-with-mud she just threw at you and dump it out of your personal realm. You don't need to take on board crap from someone like that, and YANBU!

TatterdemalionAspie · 02/12/2016 12:45

Blimey, the Sanctimoanies are out in force on this thread! Grin

YANBU at all OP - it sounds like your sister is projecting her own guilt at not seeing her granny as often as you do. If she's stable and has other visitors going, you don't need to go on Saturday!

ovenchips · 02/12/2016 12:46

I think I'd be asking myself why my sister feels it's A-okay to judge my actions and pillory me if she doesn't like them? You don't answer to her and it's V unpleasant behaviour.

It doesn't matter what any of us think (though for the record I am at a loss to understand what crime you have committed - think what you're doing is absolutely fine). You feel what you're doing is reasonable, you know the current situation and the history, you know your sister and her ways. The end.

Sanctimony - whether it's from your sister or people on a thread - tends to say more about the nature of the person dishing it, rather than the person having to take it.

Hope your grandmother is out of hospital soon.

EnglishHusband1 · 02/12/2016 12:47

She found me out! Probably my terrible name.

Great suggestion of an outfit! Although, it may prove difficult for certain actions that follow too much consumption of fluids. I went for something a bit more traditional with a few lights here and there to add warmth.

If it was just me that her aggressive and disrespectful behaviour was directed towards then I would be more concerned and address it. After her actions towards other family members, taking a little of the brunt for a while is just part and parcel of being part of the family.

Do you think it would bad taste to have a t-shirt printed that says "Fucking Unbelievable" underneath?

Randytortoise · 02/12/2016 12:51

Yanbu I think your plan is fine.

Meadows76 · 02/12/2016 12:58

This thread is fucking bizarre. Are we really supposed to believe the OP's husband just happened to see this and respond Hmm

OnionKnight · 02/12/2016 13:01

Meadows you seem a bit obsessed with this thread.

shallichangemyname · 02/12/2016 13:03

English I know where you are coming from. My DSis loathed my XDH. He was fantastic about it. She used to goad him endlessly with her overt rudeness. He took it all on the chin for me, for which I admired him greatly at the time, and still now. It would be awful for your DW if you rose to it and she was caught in the middle. I think the Tshirt would be a great idea (although the trousers on that outfit do have a drawstring opening and it's easy to get on and off - I do wish I could be a fly on the wall when DP wears it)

Meadows76 · 02/12/2016 13:05

Meadows you seem a bit obsessed with this thread. hardly. I do have a little colicky thing called 'I'm on' and it shows me when something new has been posted, so I read it. That's all. I thought most people used that to read further posts.

But come on, it's turned into a pantomime now. Whether my original comments were right or wrong doesn't detract from the fact that it's utterly bizarre.

Meadows76 · 02/12/2016 13:05

*clicky thing

ClopySow · 02/12/2016 13:08

Well being a bit colicky can make a girl grumpy so that would explain your mood. Christ, my son was furious with the colic.

shallichangemyname · 02/12/2016 13:13

I find a change from being all intense to a bit lighthearted sometimes throws a different perspective on things Grin
PS. English the Tshirt joke will be lost on the DSisIL