To wish some parents would show a bit more consideration to others

[Njcr]

On a train with a splitting headache after work. There's a family nearby and the child is watching a cartoon on an ipad. Not an issue as such but the ipad is at full volume and no headphones are being used. I know that it must be nice for the kid to be occupied for are while but it's a full train of other people. Surely it would be considerate to use headphones/keep the volume low?

There certainly are a few disablist farts who come on here from time to time. I think usually though it's a case of people not understanding because it is beyond their experience.

You are asking my son to do something he cannot do. The alternative is for him never to go to places where there are other people. I am not having him live like that.

What has your child having SN got to even to do with this? Don't shut down my perfectly reasonable dislike of noisy tv in quiet spaces by bringing up your child's SN. Its aggressive and narrow minded. The majority of kids in this situation DO NOT have SN which is, I believe, what we are talking about here.

If you read the thread you will see that the first person to mention special needs was someone mocking children with special needs.
I don't think the op was being unreasonable.

My son doesn't have sn. He is disabled.

Anyway. I hate noisy ipads and have no worries about telling the parents to turn it off/down.

Its amazing how apologetic people are - nice of them, but honestly, if you are that reasonable, why do it in the first place?

It happens all the time on many threads of this sort. I could place a bet on it being raised.

"Megainstant

What has your child having SN got to even to do with this? Don't shut down my perfectly reasonable dislike of noisy tv in quiet spaces by bringing up your child's SN. Its aggressive and narrow minded. The majority of kids in this situation DO NOT have SN which is, I believe, what we are talking about here."

Agreed.

I don't see the posters with children with special needs being aggressive but people can make their own minds up on that.

What did kids do before they had iPads? It's surely not beyond parenting wit to equip oneself with a story book, stickers or colouring?

Honking I agree, it's compleatly beyond many people's experience, and because they are so ignorant they won't adapt to the most vulnerable, which means the most vulnerable get pushed out from day to day life, and people become no better informed of the reality of their struggles.

For what it's worth my children can cope with ear defenders for short times, they can cope with bring told noise off or no tablet, but they can't sit still and they have no impulse control and they can't moderate their emotional reactions in any way or cope with fears and phobias. To whoever said they can cope with toddler noise but not tablets- 'toddler noise' of pushed to far for my (school aged) children involves the kind of melt downs that involve out of control screaming and so much violence my bones have been broken. If you were sitting anywhere near that I very much doubt you would prefer that to a very quiet tablet like honking says her boy needs.

Yes cara it is incredibly tiresome allways meeting the same aggressive disabilist bs from people. It is a protected characteristic you know, so develope a more open mind and a bit of common decency and compassion

I've been sitting in carriages far more times with adults watching violent films at full volume, or listening to music, or drinking and swearing, or commenting on other people, or talking on their phone about their dull work or dull affairs or dull drugs... than I have been bothered by kids with ipads!

And absolutely your pain as an adult, with no learning disabilities, is not as important as a very severely learning disabled child or a child with severe asd

What bollocks. An adult with no LD is as entitled to use the space as well and sometimes they can be in very much pain and unable to do anything about it, so why should their lives be made more difficult when there are things that a parent of a child with LD CAN do but WON'T.

We all have to live in this world and everyone is entitled to some consideration.

But many of those parents can not do anything about it, like honking explained, and the examples on this thread could put on earth defenders, the same way my much more vulnerable, much less understanding children will asd do. It's just about having a bit of consideraction for someone worse off than you, in the same way I would give up a seat to someone with greater need than I have, dispite my disabilities and pain.

I think people with extreme sensitivity to noise, who are able to tolerate ear defenders, should wear them, if it will enable another disabled person to stay.
I'm not extremely sensitive to noise, but I would find cartoons played loudly on a train, very irritating.
As a disabled adult with 2 disabled children, I just cannot accept that anything that a disabled person wants, they should automatically be allowed. There has to be compromise. This is a want, it is not a need. The child does not NEED to watch the cartoon with the volume up.

I can't wear ear defenders if I wish to continue a conversation with the person I am travelling with and as a visually impaired person, I rely on my hearing. Why should I have to cut that particular sense off because a parent is too selfish to use headphones or say no to their child?

You are asking my son to do something he cannot do
I just don't accept that. He does not HAVE to watch the iPad. You CAN say no to him disturbing the rest of the passengers. I know it's hard, but you are not doing your child any favours by allowing them to do anything they want to do. It's probably helped me having 2 autistic children because when 1 was doing something that annoyed the other, I had to do something about it. I couldn't just let 1 sing loudly when he wanted to, because the other would not be able to cope with it. So if 1 wanted to watch a cartoon on a tablet, it was ONLY allowed with headphones (and we had to try lots before we found suitable ones). Simple and non-negotiable, like many other rules that I am sure you do have in place for your child.
By giving in, you are making life easier for yourself a the expense of everyone around you. That is selfish.

Francis - Have you spent a lot of time with any older children or adults who are functioning at baby or young toddler level with asd thrown in as well? Unless you have I don't think you have the understanding of what they can or cannot do.

I agree it can, others noise and conversations significantly effect my children

Some people have greater need, and where/if people can adapt and be considerate the should. Children are already expected to do this all the time- give up their seat for adults, share toys they don't want to share, be quiet even when it's hard for them- adults can adapt for children also, where ever possible. You really think honking's son should just remain shut in the house all day every day, because she's already explained a little low level tablet noise is necessary for him to access day to day life that everyone else takes for granted, and as he can't tolerate head phones there maybe a little noise.

But Francis by the nature of their disability a child or adult with severe learning disabilities can not understand your experience, if you don't have learning disabilities or asd etc then you should as an adult be able to show some compassion and consideraction for that child.

One of my children is in a specialist class for children with autism. She has some ability to empathise and understand others perspectI've, she has pda and anxiety and sensory problems mostly along with adhd, some other children in the class have a typical presentation of asd- they have no understanding of others pov. Therefore she has to adapt to them at times. They simpley do not have that ability.