AIBU to think it's silly that DS can't wear these to nursery?

[GracyEvans]

DS had some leggings on today - they're gorgeous! They have monsters on (not scary) but apparently he isn't allowed to wear them? They don't have a uniform, but apparently a Mum said that they scared her daughter WTAF.

It's not so much a callous "suck it up and ignore the little brat," it's just that there's only so much 'reasonable adjustment' to be made for people with unusual fears. It's reasonable to ban a child from taking his pet tarantula to nursery. It's not reasonable to ban a child from wearing a T-shirt with a cartoon spider.

Why else did she post Momma?

The words 'silly' and WTAF convey contempt.

Is it silly the nursery said... wtaf

So if she's inviting ridicule it's to the nursery.

It didn't say aibu to thing this little girl is a pfb brat who should suck it up because the only thing that matters is my love of leggings. Lots of other posters supplied the pfb suck it up etc but then it is mn

I think those leggings (both patterns) are great. I wish they'd had them when my boys were tiny. As for too scary, what about t-shirts with t-rex etc all over the front? What a peculiar complaint from the nursery.

I'm going to buy my sons several pairs of these each so they can wear them every day. I find burkas and fcuk tahirts scary and offensive but I have to deal with it every day.

she posts a threading inviting others to slag off a child

Your comprehension's a bit off, Effiels. She said WTAF about the nursery's request. The word 'silly' is not used with any reference or connection to the other child.

They look fab.
Meant. Hold needs to get over it

The nursery is just passing on a message/request.

And that adds to your argument that the thread was started to slag off a child how...?

But anyway, the nursery is in charge and they can and should do more than pass on requests that are not reasonable. And this one isn't. The responsible thing would be to talk to the girl's parents about this fear and how together they might deal with it.

I find burkas and fcuk tahirts scary and offensive but I have to deal with it every day.

Uh-oh

There are some awful people on here. I guess you don't have a sensitive child. My dd is scared of a lot of irrational things, she has nightmares too. Absolutely nothing wrong with her, isn't it easier if the boy didn't wear the leggings than the girl have nightmares or be frieghtened of going to nursery. She will probably grow out of it when she's old enough to rationalise !

Whether you think they are scary or not - if a vhild in the nursery is scared by them then show a little compassion for the sensitive child and keep them for outside of nursery. Who knows why they scare the other child - maybe they trigger
other fears, who knows but don't deliberately send your son in to nursery wearing something that makes other children or child anxious - why would you do that?

Irrational fears are tricky to 'work to overcome' with toddlers/pre-schoolers in a nursery setting.

Presumably they have tried talking to her and reasoning already.

What next - trying to get her to touch the leggings? Get the child to remove the leggings so she can see they're just a piece of clothing. Hardly appropriate.

The nursery are in an awkward position and are appealing to the OP's humane side - a small adjustment in habit to help a fellow human being, a child at that.

Presumably they have tried talking to her and reasoning already. That is a big assumption.

Well most people would.

Worrying the nursery managers on here! Thank god my daughter never went to your nurseries ! Just because these children are different it doors not mean they are naughty, wrong or weird! My dd is the most loving, caring and sensitive child I have ever met!

A nursery that wouldn't talk or reason with a frightened child as a first port of call would be showing an alarming lack of common sense. And if they haven't spoken to her, I'd imagine her parents are likely to have tried.

I know fulltime ~ that is scary.

How do we know the child will be upset next time she sees them?
How do we know the child wasn't tired, coming down with something or just having a strop and wanting a bit of adult attention.
It is ridiculous to jump straight to 'you can't wear those again'.

Its just as likely that the the little girl won't blink at them tomorrow as it is she will still be scared.

The other parent is BU as are nursery. Love the leggings! My ds wears scarier clothes than that to nursery. He also brings in scarey toys, three headed dragon anyone?

They're completely fab. Several make babies & toddlers of my acquaintance (including my own) wear leggings almost exclusively. They practical, incredibly comfy and just gorgeous.

I love those leggings OP, I think it is ridiculous. Maybe the parent has a thing about boys in leggings (which is fricking ridiculous).

I would never put a boy in leggings either, any more than I'd put him in a skirt but I do realise that the times are moving on and many teenage boys dress like girls with tight skinny jeans and after having spent an age on their hair. It's a shame and I wonder if the falling testosterone levels in males are due to them becoming more feminine or just the tight jeans, although I realise my opinion won't be particularly welcome.

Anyway I digress - I like the design of the leggings very much (although they look more like pyjamas) and I think the little girls mother is being absolutely ridiculous. If you like what he's wearing, I certainly wouldn't stop because someone is afraid. She must surely see images like this all the time out and about on clothing, books, posters etc.

I'd perhaps speak to the nursery and say you think that frankly, their request is ridiculous.

The nursery is being ridiculous. The leggings are great.
Is the other child scared of Where the Wild Things Are? Or Not Now Bernard? Or Smiley Shark? Or The Gruffalo? Ban the books then?
They should be working on that child's over-sensitivity.

Or maybe the child is scared of monsters? She maybe had nightmares, begged her mum to not send her again! It awful hearing your child begging not to go. My daughter is sensitive to how people speak to her or tone. I swapped one nursery as she was scared of the teachers!