To think this was unfair and unprofessional of my sons teacher?

[burgundyandgoldleaves]

My son is nine and in Year 5.

Over the years my husband has made a bit of a name for himself I daresay and has complained about various things. (I've told him not to.)

Today, DS got into a bit of trouble - nothing hugely major, he was, along with others, somewhere he shouldn't have been at lunch time. There was some rubbish in this room that they weren't responsible for. The teacher came in and started shouting at the boys for leaving the mess. DS tried to tell her they weren't responsible and the teacher shouted at him not to interrupt (fine) and "send your dad in if you're not happy, I don't care!"

AIBU or is the latter part of this statement quite unfair? DS was pretty embarrassed and I'm now trying to work this so he doesn't tell his dad!

'Threatening' him....seriously get a grip !

Your poor DS.

Not only will he be the kid with "that" Dad, he'll also be the kid with "that" Mum.

You really don't get it do you.

Your nine year old was threatened?? This thread is fascinating!!

In answer to that, no it isn;t a goo idea burgundy

You will make things worse

Could one of his friends maybe said something to your DS (under his breath or otherwise) 'you should tell your dad'? As the whole 'I don't care if your dad comes here' sounds like an add on comment/retaliation to something.

The angle you will go in with?

Christ, so you are going to complain then?

I bet your son's teacher can't fucking wait until next summer and then some other poor unfortunate soul will have to cope with this crap in Year 6.

Titchy

I've 'spoken to the teacher' ONCE before, when DS was in year 3.

Flogging

If someone said to me to 'go and get your husband, we'll sort this out now!' I would take that as a threat. Certainly a challenge.

Why on earth was he "threatened"?

If that's the case all the other boys were 'threatened' too. They weren't they were told off for doing something they shouldn't be doing.

Some of you seem quite insistent that a teacher is never to be bothered, even if just asking a friendly question.

Rousette, no, I do think you're deliberately missing the point a bit now. The other boys were not told to get their dads, DS was. As you know, this is what I'm not happy about. The telling off is neither here nor there really.

floggingmolly It's clear why you don't have a problem with this teacher's behaviour; you also become insulting without provocation when someone doesn't agree with you.

Well you haven't needed to go in before have you - your dh has gone in.

In any case I wasn't referring to the number of times you've complained, but about the reasonableness of going in, and to go in this case would be very unreasonable which does make you one of those parents.

How are you going to ask a friendly question about whether the teacher threatened your son by saying she didn't care if he went crying to his dad about being told off? Just don't - it's so cringe

But all the teacher said was... "and you can tell your dad if you want"

I must be a neglectful parent. When mine were a similar age, I would think absolutely nothing of this. Except... oh dammit, DH has carried his complaints one step too far.

(But my DH never took it upon himself to tell a teacher how to do their job in a patronising and sneery way)

I think, and I could be wrong titchy but I cannot for the life of me understand why anybody would object to a polite query.

I reiterate: OP asks for advice and doesn't get the response she's looking for and accuses people of picking arguments if they don't agree with her. Why ask then?

If this is an indication of how she and DH deal with the school then the teachers deserve a medal.

Your son was not threatened ffs

As a teacher I just want to point out that a child being somewhere they aren't supposed to be isn't actually trivial. If a child goes into a classroom unsupervised that is a big issue for many reasons. There are strict guidelines regarding supervision etc and if when your child was in that class one of them had an accident the HT and the teacher would be in serious trouble. There are designated staff to supervise them in set areas and those are the areas they should be. It is also a safeguarding issue and a problem if there was a fire etc. Most schools are actually very strict in children going into the classrooms etc at lunchtimes and we repeat the rule until we are blue in the face because it's for their safety. We need to know where they are and that they are supervised. We have to make a big issue when they do this because any parent would go ballistic if something happened to their child unsupervised and rightly so. Hence why children are strictly not allowed to do it and there has to be a consequence when they do.

And what happens if you do question the teacher and she says 'yes I told them off but didn't mention DH'? Who would you believe? As you say your son won't lie to you (and you obv know him better than us)

No, I'm sure it's not, Lynda, and he got in trouble for it - that's all fine.

The teacher, without context, WAS in the wrong. But does it really need to be followed up?

ultimately, it's a teacher's job to behave professionally and she failed to do so... it's OBVIOUS that she shouldn't have made that comment (assuming the 'incident' happened as DS says it did).

I'll have to cross that bridge if I do indeed come to it diamond

Your son was not threatened.

You are being ridiculous. I am leaving this thread now as it's a total waste of time. 99% of posters are trying to talk sense to you and you are refusing to take on board any comments which don't fit with what you want to hear.