To think it's not vital for DC to learn to drive as soon as they are 17?

[dollybird]

DC are 13 and 14 so it's a little way off yet, but I think we should wait and see how much they want to learn to drive and also bear in mind that they may go to uni and not have use of a car for a few years. As its so expensive to learn to drive and then to get insurance etc, I think there are more important things to help DC with money wise.

This came up again in conversation the other day and DH said 'you can't get on in life if you can't drive' which I think is utter rubbish. I said what if they decided to move to London where public transport is good and having a car could be a waste of time? And he came back with 'do you want that'? To which I replied obviously I'd be upset if they moved away but if they want to move to London or anywhere else then I would support that. I certainly wouldn't stop them. He decided to put a halt to the conversation as we were supposed to be having a 'nice evening' but I still think he's wrong. AIBU?

How about learning a different instrument?

Not many people want a recorder solo at their wedding.

I considered it vital for for my two DSs. For commuting to school (miles cheaper than paying for 3 DC on school coach which was £15 per day in total), socialising in the rural area we lived in, getting to sixth form jobs. DS2 is doing a course at uni which includes a hospital placement he needs to drive to - so I'm very glad we did consider it vital and didn't close that option to him. DD is 14 and I am back to being a constant taxi now her brothers are gone - I can't wait till she learns and it will create so many more options for her.

For your DC you get to decide, but you definitely won't be right with sweeping statements on behalf of all 17 year olds!

And even london orchestras need harpists. And double bassists. And percussionists...........

It's easier to learn how to drive when younger.

It's a skill once you have it you always have regardless if you have a car

It's their choice not yours.

its a lot easier to fit in lessons while still in education - once you are working its close to impossible! and if they end up in london, it will cost a fortune

My husband wouldn't agree, he regrets not doing it at 17 when he didn't have other commitments and more spare cash. He's 30 and just passed couple of months ago. Plus you tend to have more confidence when younger for this sort of thing...

I regret not doing it when young. I started lessons at 17, but found it hard and gave up when I left home. When left uni found it really hard to get a job because of travel as I didn't drive. Have eventually passed in my 20s, but wish I'd done it earlier.

My dc will be strongly encouraged to learn ASAP. I think it was hard for me because I couldn't get any practise between lessons, so I will try to take them out etc if I can.

'Doesn't' it depend where you live? If you can use public transport or everything is within walking distance I don't suppose you really need a car,

The problem with this is you have no idea where your 17 year old will be living in 5 or 10 years time. My husband and I have both lived in 6 different towns and cities since we turned 18. Some we could have managed easily with no car, some we needed 2 cars, some we needed just the one. I didn't learn until a bit later but it has made it significantly easier to find somewhere to live without figuring out whether I can get to work or not. It made job hunting easier too.

Probably someone's said this by now but within the first two years of getting your licence, you only need to get 6 points (normally 12) to get a driving ban. Good reason to get your licence early and then you can stick it in a drawer for a couple of years. Not condoning dangerous driving but I remember a mate of mine getting a job with an awkward commute, had to pass his test in a hurry and then he got one speeding ticket and was terrified he was going to lose his licence (and possibly his job, as we worked shifts and there wasn't always public transport available).

I'm in the learn at 17 camp if you can. I wasn't bothered, didn't socialise a lot and used train for college but my family paid as a gift and I passed age 17. My mum especially was keen for my independence. Rarely drove (no car or own insurance) until I got offered my job as a trainee solicitor - to start a couple of weeks later. I bought a car and had 2 refresher lessons and drove as part of my job from week 1. My first months mileage expenses were £190 so definitely thrown in at the deep end driving wise. It was over Christmas so I wouldn't have been able to do an intensive course and driving test, timescale was so tight. Without the licence job would have gone to next in line (hundreds applied for each job even then, even worse now) so yes my mum was right.

I am interested to see that nobody seems to mention the environmental question as a factor in their calculations.

For us, it was important to minimise car use, so we calculated everything around our lives- house location in relation to work, hobbies etc- so as to make this as doable as possible. Didn't always work (ailing relative in rural nursing home, not a lot we could do about that), but it was definitely a factor.

Am interested to see how difficult even the shortest journey by foot/public transport seems to be for dc's contemporaries, and how little trouble it seems to cause ds. Whatever his choices in life, I am glad I have taught him to walk well and easily.

Am interested to see how difficult even the shortest journey by foot/public transport seems to be for dc's contemporaries, and how little trouble it seems to cause ds. Whatever his choices in life, I am glad I have taught him to walk well and easily

You must feel so proud

My DCs walk very well. Hopefully they will drive very well too.

My dds walk extremely well unfortunately Dds college was a bus and train away her job was a bus and walk away she finished at 10pmso you know her car came in handy

I have wondered what the roads would be like if everyone drove, they are mayhem already. Apparently 40% of adults don't hold a licence.. They are doing a service by keeping the country flowing smoothly

I'm on the fence about this. Dd is 18 and just applied for her provisional, but I don't think she intends to take lessons, she wants it use it as ID.

We live in zone 6 and she goes here there and everywhere with a free bus pass and subsidised tube/ train travel. Next year she will be off to university for 4/5 years where she won't need or be able to afford to run a car. She is muttering about learning after her a levels, but we will leave it up to her.

But are they the ones complaining they are squished in like sardines and can't get a seat on the train though Spooky?

Tbf not every kid lives in big cities where they can jump on a tube or free bus

I am interested to see that nobody seems to mention the environmental question as a factor in their calculations .

But just because you can drive, doesn't mean you have to. My first choice is always to take public transport, but to visit my family and some clients it just isn't possible.

Not having a driving licence is a huge impediment to career choices. Many jobs don't require one, but having one opens so many doors.

Apparently 40% of adults don't hold a licence..

I'm quite surprised at that. I bet older people - especially older women - are disproportionately represented in that figure, though, so it's probably set to decrease.

Just because you can drive doesn't mean that you will choose to drive. I passed my test at 23 but didn't have my own car till 15 years later. At this point living in a rural area with a disabled child and not driving would have meant a poor quality of life for him and I glad I was already able to drive.

I wonder what %age of licence holders don't use them?

I mentioned this up thread already but it's worth pointing out again... my DC (22) is at uni in London, he learned to drive at 17, passed at 18. He doesn't run a car but is able (BECAUSE he passed his test early) to hire zip cars as and when he needs one, which might be once or twice a month. Different companies/car clubs will have different rules but iirc for zip car you need to be minimum of 21 and have had a licence for 3 years.

Car clubs are very popular amongst his peer group and give the flexibly of car ownership without a lot of the hassles. You don't have to own a car to use one! From and environmental POV that's an advantage too. We live in rural Scotland, no chance of car clubs here but for city dwellers, a great idea.

Yes very much agree honkinghaddock It wasn't my plan to have a disabled child but my life and hers was greatly improved by being able to drive. The hospital she was sent to was 1 hour drive each way, at one stage we went weekly. Waiting hours for the patient transport would not have helped. Just because your son can walk at 17 doesn't mean he always can. I suddenly developed a life threatening condition age 31 and couldn't walk more than a short distance, but I could drive.

I'm still in the camp good thing to have in your back pocket just in case.