To think it's not vital for DC to learn to drive as soon as they are 17?

[dollybird]

DC are 13 and 14 so it's a little way off yet, but I think we should wait and see how much they want to learn to drive and also bear in mind that they may go to uni and not have use of a car for a few years. As its so expensive to learn to drive and then to get insurance etc, I think there are more important things to help DC with money wise.

This came up again in conversation the other day and DH said 'you can't get on in life if you can't drive' which I think is utter rubbish. I said what if they decided to move to London where public transport is good and having a car could be a waste of time? And he came back with 'do you want that'? To which I replied obviously I'd be upset if they moved away but if they want to move to London or anywhere else then I would support that. I certainly wouldn't stop them. He decided to put a halt to the conversation as we were supposed to be having a 'nice evening' but I still think he's wrong. AIBU?

I can't drive, and I'm 40. It certainly hasn't stopped me 'getting on in life' at all. I'm not saying people shouldn't learn; it's obviously a useful skill to have and can make life easier, but it's not something you have to do the moment you reach 17 if you don't want/need to.

I have plenty of friends who didn't learn until their 20s/30s when they had the money for lessons and could afford to run a car once they passed their test.

Well of course it's not essential. I am pretty sure there are very many families who simply cannot afford to pay for their 17 year olds to learn to drive.

The thing is, with saying 'wait until you need it' what if you need it for a job application? Or just to get to work when you move? You don't immediately then get the license, you need to do the written test, do lots of lessons, perhaps take it more than once. It's very frustrating to do that as an adult if it's for a specific reason, much easier if you already did it and can just pick it up again.

We live very rurally with no public transport. My two started driving on their 17th birthday as did every other teenager I know.
It has helped them to get part time jobs which is good for them in so many ways. They both got it out of the way and had plenty of practise before going off to university.
I no more begrudge paying for this than anything else I paid for when they were growing up.

Depends where you live. I grew up on a farm. There was no public transport, nor pavements or street lighting. My parents considered it essential and paid for lessons. I kept failing my test till after I'd left home, and then couldn't afford to run a town, but was living in cities with public transport and cycle paths, and didn't go home that often, so collecting me from the nearest station wasn't a common burden.

But I did pass in the end, and it means I have more opting about where I live and work, how many trays of plants I can buy in one go, and important things like that.

I can drive, but sometimes choose not to. If I didn't drive, I'd have to arrange my whole life round that and would have less flexibility. Driving isn't essential, especially if you're in a large urban centre. But it's jolly useful, and I like having the choice.

I still can't afford to run a town, but I can afford to run a car these days...

It seems to fall into two groups - the ones who learn at 17 and 2 weeks and then are weded to their car, drive themselves to college, are the designated driver for all their friends, get a partner off the kudos of car ownership, etc.....and the ones who maybe pass their theory test a couple of times from 17 onwards (it expires) but don't actually pass until well after they graduate from university (or pass and then never go into a car again for five years, which is really quite dangerous).
Most universities don't allow students to have cars, so if that is on the cards then I think that an ideal time to learn is during the summer immediately after graduation (or the summer before that, between years 2 and 3), ready for a first job that might require driving for a commute. If the life plan is college and then work or training-in-work, learning much sooner might be required, as there will be a need to do a commute much sooner.

YABU. Please teach them to drive, its much easier to learn at that age. They may not be able to afford it later on.

I think learning to drive and getting a licence are part of life's essential toolkit. Having said that, I will never drive again for health reasons and it's a lovely excuse just fine!

Get it out of the way, otherwise it might be years and if they have a partner who drives the resentment may end up causing issues. It's a good skill to have even if they don't use it much initially.

yabu it is way easier and better for skill to get it done and dusted at 17 and get them driving you everywhere and being taxi etc. You get payback on cost and all the running around you did and they get some freedom and practice skills they are going to need. I can honestly say I have not met one confident driver that learnt later in life (like over 20).

I am actually looking at courses for my 11 yr old as locally there is a 10 to 16 learning course I think it is so important

I think it's important to try and pass the test before uni.

They won't have time/money when at uni and then their job prospects may be lessened when they graduate. Even if they get a job where they don't need to drive again they may find it hard to prioritise money for lessons when renting/trying to save for a house deposit, etc.

I do think it's an important life skill.

I wish id done it earlier in life. It may have been easier than I'm finding it now.

I really wish I learned when I was 17. I finally passed my test in my late 20s but it was tough fitting it in with work (especially as I had a long bus commute). It's fair enough saying they may choose to move to London but what if they find a perfect job after uni that is near impossible on public transport and have to turn it down.

Yab a bit unreasonable I think learning to drive can be essential once they pass that is it i am a non driver butDd1 passed her test at 18 drove toher p/t job college and now drives in her job Dd2 is just about to take her test, obviously if kids are not interested then you shouldn't force them

best I don't know about you but when I was at uni I did a lot of industrial placements. I also had a 'gap year' where I did a year long industrial placement during my degree.
There is no way that I could have done any of that wo a car.
I didn't need or use one when I was at Uni as such but it would have really restricted what I could do placement wise and therefore then affected my chance of getting my first job.

It's not an issue of getting your driving licence as soon as you are 17yo. You don't need one at 17yo. But you do need one before you go to Uni.

If parents can afford why not get them a provisional and lessons.

It's much better to learn young. Imo people who learn to drive later in life are crap at it - that goes for men and women. Mil learnt to drive when she was 48. How she passed her test I just don't know. She could just about manage to steer her car the 1.5 miles to work and back. Couldn't park, couldn't negotiate a roundabout - never drove anywhere but home - work - supermarket - home. Friend's father took 11 attempts to pass his test. I went out in their new car and he scraped it along a line of parked cars.

Also at school/holidays there is plenty of time to learn in the light . Once someone's at work they are mostly confined to lessons after 5pm or so and then are stuck in the rush hour/dark.

I passed my test at 34. I would have had a lot more independence and freedom in my 20s and early 30s if I could drive. I really wish my parents had encouraged us to do it when we were younger, and I'll be giving my kids vouchers for lessons as soon as it's legal.

Totally dependant on location.

I didn't learn until my 30's.
DD will learn as soon as is humanly possible, and has already been behind the wheel off road. (She's 14.)

I think learn at 17 if at all possible. Being able to drive is a really positive thing and is useful to have on job applications.

I passed my test at 17 and all the jobs I had have required me to drive there.

How do parents encourage a 17 year old to learn to drive if they don't want to learn though? We live quite rurally and I have saved money for lesson for my dc (soon to be 18) but they are adamant that they do not want to learn to drive now.

Speaking as someone who is trying to learn at the moment with a very time consuming job to juggle and a mortgage to pay I really really wish I'd just got on with it at 17.

Most universities don't allow students to have cars

Of course they do. Plenty of new halls have parking and once you are in private rented accommodation you can do what you like. Of course a student won't get a permit for the University car park (my kids cycle to Uni) but they still have their cars with them for other stuff.

And it's really not as easy as learning in a summer break before an internship: some people take many many months.

It's a vital life skill. I intend to have both my children driving off public roads way before 17. (Currently 9 and 6 and already know more rules of the road than the majority of drivers we encounter!)