To think it's not vital for DC to learn to drive as soon as they are 17?

[dollybird]

DC are 13 and 14 so it's a little way off yet, but I think we should wait and see how much they want to learn to drive and also bear in mind that they may go to uni and not have use of a car for a few years. As its so expensive to learn to drive and then to get insurance etc, I think there are more important things to help DC with money wise.

This came up again in conversation the other day and DH said 'you can't get on in life if you can't drive' which I think is utter rubbish. I said what if they decided to move to London where public transport is good and having a car could be a waste of time? And he came back with 'do you want that'? To which I replied obviously I'd be upset if they moved away but if they want to move to London or anywhere else then I would support that. I certainly wouldn't stop them. He decided to put a halt to the conversation as we were supposed to be having a 'nice evening' but I still think he's wrong. AIBU?

My son is 17 and he isn't learning yet.

When he is 18 he will get some money from his father which he left in his will, his hope was that it would cover his lessons, tests and insurance. However, he is 18 in 6 months and he isn't mature enough Imo to start learning. He has social and physical delays and he needs a few more years until he is ready I think. He isn't mature enough and the thought of him driving soon fills me with dread.

I won't stop him if he really wants to but I'm not encouraging it yet. I learnt when I was 32 and it was difficult and I had a lot of fear, so I think in general being younger is better but of course it depends on the individual.

This may be controversial. However, I think that having a driving liscence is probably more important for employment than holding a degree. Obviously it's different in London but everywhere else public transport us patchy. Apart from that I've driven on company bussiness for almost every firm I've worked for, except the RAF... but I operated other vehicles for them!

I learnt at 17 and passed my test at 18. Neither of my DC, currently 19 and 17 are remotely interested in learning. DD is away at uni and has no need for a car although I think she should learn and get it under her belt. DS may learn in the New Year. Unfortunately we won't be able to afford to buy a car for them though.

I remember my dad booking me lessons for when I turned 17. He said that if I didn't do it straight away then I probably never would. He was right. Any of my friends who didn't learn when they were young are now pushing 40 and desperately trying to find the money to learn. My best friend who I've know since she was 19 is now 38 and her NY resolution every year is to learn. She really wants to but never gets round to it and she's not the only one. Far better to get it done and out of the way young if at all possible.

I'd get it over and done with. A friend of mine didn't bother as he lived in London and didn't really need a car, then he got a job abroad and needed to drive aged 32... couldn't drive!

A condition of the job was a licence so he spent a month having lessons every single day and desperately trying to pass and get his paperwork through before he started his new job. He passed first time thanks to some seriously intensive (and expensive) lessons, he got his licence in the post 2 days before he was due to start his job and spend the next year and a bit paying off his debt after having to suddenly fork out for 3 hours driving tuition every day for a month!

I live rurally and needed to drive from day 1. I could drive alone in our land from about 14 years old and passed my test 2 days after my 17th birthday.
Just get it done and then if they don't drive for a few years it doesn't matter , their licences are there when they need them.

No need to buy a car until they need it... as for building a NCD aged 17, forget it! Guaranteed to have a few prangs in the first few years. Definitely not a reason to buy a car before they need / want one.

Yes of course it depends on where you live. All my friends and I learnt at 17 as there was sod all public transport and miles to walk even to the school bus.

It's easier for them to practise driving in between lessons while they are living at home, and have access to parental cars and time to take them out. Hence cheaper to learn then as well, because if they learn as students or older adults, their practice time may be entirely in lessons.

DH can take them out to practice as i am the worst passenger even with an experienced driver! My parents never took me out to practice either.

I learnt / passed at 17 and I'm so glad I did. I live in London now but have 2 kids and use the car a lot! If I couldn't drive it would definitely limit me. Learning was a chore, no doubt, but I'm glad I persevered. My parents paid for my lessons.

I didn't have my own car until I was in my first post uni job at 21. But when I was at home I was insured on my mum's and used that for evenings/weekends/ to get to my part time job.

Possibly not vital though depends on location/profession. Definitely very useful for pretty much everyone at some point of their life. As others have said much easier to learn young.

Just for interest what are you referring to when you say you think there are more important things to help DC with money wise? Bearing in mind that the cost of learning to drive shouldn't be that expensive and lessons could given as presents (including by grand parents, etc).

Learning to drive is an expensive pursuit tjough. £25 an hour for lessons (DS is having 2 lessons a week), payments for theory test and practical test.

I am currently paying £80 a month to insure DS on my car for practice. He was 17 in the summer and grandparents bought him 4 lessons. Since then we have paid.

Depends where you live and what work you want to do. Driving is essential for my career and not being able to drive post graduating limited options. There will be many more job options available if they can be flexible, driving facilitates this.

It's easier to learn when you're young, ds will be having lessons for his 17 th birthday. Even if he doesn't drive for a while he can always have a couple of refresher lessons. My friend's son has been able to stay at home and drive to uni which has been cheaper plus drive himself to his part time job, so it's been worth it.

Different if you live in London where PT is fantastic.

YABU

I can't afford to pay for private school, but the least I can do is find the money to make sure they become adults with driving licences. Even if they don't use them for some time, having a licence gives them more options.

It will be much more difficult to do when they're actually in the swing of adulthood, with all the burdens and responsibilities of life.

I am gobsmacked at the number of posts I've read on here from someone in a difficult situation (like women in bad marriages) and one of the limitations they face is not being able to drive.

You don't know where life will take you. Be as prepared as possible.

However, I think that having a driving liscence is probably more important for employment than holding a degree. Obviously it's different in London but everywhere else public transport us patchy

More important than a degree? For doctors, accountants, lawyers, teachers, scientists?

Public transport is not that bad unless you live rurally. There's plenty of graduate work in cities apart from London where driving is not essential.

And nowadays driving to work is often strongly discouraged. In my organisation employing thousands of people there are only a few hundred parking spaces. Most people use public transport to get to work. (City outside London.)

Nonetheless I agree that it's better to learn to drive young so that you have the option if needed. Not necessarily the moment you turn 17 though - learning intensively in the summer vacation of university can also work well.

The advantage of learning when you are 17 is that there is usually more time available for lessons and likely to be a car they can practice in. Dh learnt at 17 but didn't have his own car till he left university. I didn't have lessons till I started work (parents didn't drive and I/they couldn't afford lessons). I had to fit in lessons after work and had no car to practice in. I think it would have been less stressful to have learnt earlier. It also limited my early job options.

Don't get me wrong, it's a useful tool and now that I have mine after passing at 21 I'm grateful.

I had a moany MIL at the time who harped on at me and in the end up gave up because I felt like I was doing it for her not for me.

My mum is in her 50s - she never learnt and brought us up pretty much as a single parent with my Dad being in the forces and away much of our youth. Never did her or me and my brother any harm. We still got to go places, we just learnt to use public transport.

It's handy, but not the be all and end all. You also shouldn't feel that you have to foot the bill for it either!

Yabu. Driving is a vital life skill. It is easier to learn when you are younger too.
You don't know where your DC will live later on or what job they will end up doing. Not being able to drive restricts your choices so much.
The only place you don't need to drive us if you live in London or similar city with excellent public transport and you don't know that's where they will end up. Even then, that assumes they never want to go anywhere else.

I know a couple of people who don't drive, they say they don't need a car. No, because everyone else has to run round after them giving them lifts!

I agree with engineer Even if not required for the job, a driving licence is a valuable addition to a CV. I see it as a life skill. As an employer, I'm a bit disappointed if a candidate hadn't learned to drive by 30, unless there is some underlying reason they can't drive.

Public transport isn't always available- what if you want to holiday in the Scottish highlands or in rural France? So much harder to learn to drive when you're older.

It's useful but isn't a vital life skill.

Last time I had a lift was in April...

It opens doors. If I hadn't been able to drive my DC wouldn't have been able to go to the schools they did or join the clubs they wanted. Junior football is pretty impossible without a car.

As a younger person I wouldn't have been able to take the jobs I did if I was a non driver. Or had the social life I had.

The only place you don't need to drive us if you live in London or similar city with excellent public transport

Have you ever tried taking a harp on the tube?

Even excellent public transport isn't ideal at night in the winter.