To think it's not vital for DC to learn to drive as soon as they are 17?

[dollybird]

DC are 13 and 14 so it's a little way off yet, but I think we should wait and see how much they want to learn to drive and also bear in mind that they may go to uni and not have use of a car for a few years. As its so expensive to learn to drive and then to get insurance etc, I think there are more important things to help DC with money wise.

This came up again in conversation the other day and DH said 'you can't get on in life if you can't drive' which I think is utter rubbish. I said what if they decided to move to London where public transport is good and having a car could be a waste of time? And he came back with 'do you want that'? To which I replied obviously I'd be upset if they moved away but if they want to move to London or anywhere else then I would support that. I certainly wouldn't stop them. He decided to put a halt to the conversation as we were supposed to be having a 'nice evening' but I still think he's wrong. AIBU?

I do want them to have independence of course. I just thought the 'you can't get on in life unless you drive' comment was a bit much. And was a bit at the horror of me 'wanting' my kids to move to London! My attitude has always been wait and see what they want to do.

Logically, you should leave learning to drive until the need arisis. It might never happen, and in that case, you'll have wasted time and money.

It might be an obsolete skill in ten years time. In twenty years time it might be illegal to drive on a public road. (Once it's actually cheaper to get from A to B in a driverless taxi than in a car you drive yourself, the rationale for permitting almost anyone hurl a ton of metal about at up to 70mph disappears.)

Vital out here. Transport links are shite and expensive.

As a driving instructor with 8 years experience i would say it's best to get on with it at 17 if possible.

It tends to take the teenagers fewer lessons to be ready for test than those that leave it until later. They also tend to have more time to learn than people who work full time, have DC etc. Even if they get their license and dont use it then it's already in the bag ready for when they can get a car. I've taught lots of people in their 20s and 30s who have regretted not doing it earlier and have struggled both in terms of actually learning the skill but also career wise because they left it late.

I think that learning to drive and having that skill is very helpful and gives a young person more options.
We are very keen that our 17yo learns to drive so that when she leaves college she can get to whatever job she has without being restricted to only those accessible by public transport.
Now it might be she gets a job accessible by public transport and choose not to have the expense of a car, but the choice is hers.
Also easier to learn to drive whilst at college than when away at university or fitting it between working hours.
Just because you have passed your test doesn't mean you have to run a car. But without your test you don't have a choice.

I'm learning now in my 30s and I wish I had learnt when I was younger

We live in a village in the middle of nowhere. I'll be teaching them on private land as soon as they can reach the pedals and booking their tests for their 17th birthday!! Mum's taxi is bad enough now, I'd hate to think how I'll be running around with them as young adults.

It's a great life skill, and good to get their licens. Even if they don't own a car for another 10 years, and need a couple of refresher lessons, they'd have passed their test and have their license.

I think leave it up to them.. I really wish I'd gone for it at 17 and now I'm in my early 30s and still haven't managed to afford it yet. My parents offered to pay too! I didn't feel ready and wanted a laptop instead. Which broke a few months later. I really wish I had but I've still lived a good, full life!

Unless you live in london, YABU.

I think driving lessons at 17/18 and on as an additional driver to your car so they can get a bit of practice is a great thing to do for your DCs that sets them up well for the future.

I'm 38 and I've never learned to drive, no one in my family does and it makes no difference at all in our lives. We live in London though and have three tube stops and about 20 bus routes within walking distance. So definitely not necessary here, and it's much more expensive to drive here due to the congestion charge and parking. I think in major cities the public transport tends to be pretty good, but if you choose to live in the suburbs/rural areas then driving does become a necessity and I think it's only fair to fund their driving lessons.

If your dc choose to move to London I wouldn't see it as a bad thing, most graduates from good universities end up living here for some time anyway as it's where most of the decent jobs are.

I didn't learn till I was 26, and I've got on absolutely fine in life. My DS works in London, can drive but doesn't want to because much of the expense of running a car and parking it would be completely wasted as he would generally only use it occasionally at weekends.

It is not that much harder to learn to drive at 25 than at 17 - no-one should leave it untill they are middle-aged but there is nothing sacred about the 17 years old thing.
I learned at 25 having initially started learning at 18 but ran out of money for the lessons - and it was no harder and the extra maturity meant I took the whole defensive driving / consideration for others much more seriously.

Statistics for young teenage drivers are not good as 17 year olds have a tendency to think they are immortal and can do no wrong. Just IMO of course.

Please encourage them. I learned and passed at 17; DH never did and despite many promises to do so, is 42 and has never learned. Fine when we lived in London but since, like many, we couldn't afford to buy there, we have moved out and now I get to do all the driving. A HUGE pain in the arse.

DH actually thinks it's a positive thing to not be able to drive (he lists the 'wonder club' of non-drivers eg JK Rowling ,Ricky Gervaise, Gordon Brown etc) but his moral objection to driving doesn't seem to kick in when I am doing all the driving to France, Wales, every-fricking-where. We walk everywhere we can and get public transport when we are able, but sometimes the children are invited to a party/activity in the middle of nowhere and guess who gets landed with driving?

Our eldest two learned at 17. They each run an old banger at Uni. They have accessed loads of jobs that would otherwise have been impossible, relationships that were a 45 minute drive rather than a two hour train journey and also the inevitable holidays/festivals/road trips.

I didn't learn until my thirties, was fine in London, but found it impacted on my career options when we moved out.

I live rurally. DS1 was 17 in March. Can't afford lessons or to insure him on my car.

I really do want him to learn though as I do think it's an important skill. He is unlikely to learn when he's an uni or when he has his first job.

I do have to shuttle him about quite a bit, but tbh as we'd be sharing a car he wouldn't be able to take it that often anyway.

It's easier to pass the test when you're younger.

YABU. I don't drive and it's an absolute nightmare. Passing my driving test would have made more difference to me than a-levels or degree. I wish my parents had put half as much emphasis on it, practiced with me etc

YABU.
Learning to drive isn't just to use on an everyday basis.
Yes depending of wher yu live you might not need a car as much as if you are in the middle of the countryside.
BUT you might need it as you go away on hols, you might need it quick because you ahve a new job somewhere and you will need a car (due to lack of public transport, hours of work etc..)
You might need for your work from time to time (e.g. When DH goes and see a customer) etc etc

So yes he might not need it just right now. But it might well restrict him in what he can do and then he might not have the time to get said driving licence to do X and y.

I know I did my driving test a few years before I actually really needed it. But when I did, it was there, no months and months preparing for it, having to pay for it (hard when you are starting out or are at Uni) etc...

YABU.

Ds1 has just got a great part time job in John Lewis which he couldn't get to unless he could drive. There's no way he could get there or pretty much anywhere for another job.

Driving is essential imo. A life skill done sooner rather than later.

I live in a outer-London borough and we use the car on a regular basis. Not for commuting but I found that unless you are happy to pay for cabs outside the tube network and night buses it is difficult to get around. Any larger shopping is a nightmare.

I learned to drive as soon as possible and used it a lot despite living in a country where everyone cycles for short distances.

I think I wouldn't want to rely on people giving a lift and also getting anywhere outside London by public transport is expensive and time consuming.

Don't underestimate being at college and having a car, I would prefer DD having the option than paying for cabs/trains .

Well it depends where you are!!

Where I grew up it was "essential" if you had a job/apprenticiship in a workplace - unless you got a parent to drive you to there and back. As there was NO public transport. My brother had a job after finishing school which was 12 miles away. He could cycle (it is a hard route to cycle) but not in all weathers. Just not practical or safe.

So they drove him until he got his licence and put money towards a car.

Obviously they don't need to do this if they can walk/bus etc.

Maybe life will take them off somewhere you don't expect and I think a driving license is a good idea even if not used for a while first (can do refresher lessons).

we have next to no public transport here, live rurally. DD 17 currently learning to drive and I cant bloody wait for her to pass her test. I'm constantly running her here there and everywhere, not her fault obviously, not her fault we live where we do. think it very much does depend on where you live though, in a city not such a problem I imagine.

Depends where you live. Eldest boy learned to drive at 9 which has already come in useful as he drove me home across the farm when I was covered in blood and goo from lambing. Can't wait till he's on the road!

Depends on circumstance. I grew up in a small village, so driving was essential for my older brother and I as soon as we were able to to have any sort of independence. Hated having to rely on parents and really poor public transport to ferry us about. I got a p/t job as soon as I could (16) to save up for lessons etc. I paid for lessons and test and a bit towards first car. My dp, on the other hand, lived in cities from 18/19 and worked in the pub trade so he didn't bother to pass his test until he was 30. The big difference now is that lessons and particularly car insurance are so much more expensive, but being able to drive is a lot better for going for jobs...