To think it's not vital for DC to learn to drive as soon as they are 17?

[dollybird]

DC are 13 and 14 so it's a little way off yet, but I think we should wait and see how much they want to learn to drive and also bear in mind that they may go to uni and not have use of a car for a few years. As its so expensive to learn to drive and then to get insurance etc, I think there are more important things to help DC with money wise.

This came up again in conversation the other day and DH said 'you can't get on in life if you can't drive' which I think is utter rubbish. I said what if they decided to move to London where public transport is good and having a car could be a waste of time? And he came back with 'do you want that'? To which I replied obviously I'd be upset if they moved away but if they want to move to London or anywhere else then I would support that. I certainly wouldn't stop them. He decided to put a halt to the conversation as we were supposed to be having a 'nice evening' but I still think he's wrong. AIBU?

Totally disagree my lad is studying engereeing it won be possible for him to work with out being able to drive

He's sending off for his provisional ASAP and I know pretty much any teen who wants to study a trade is in the same boat

Also just having a lincence even if you don't drive opens up a world or job opps

my dad told me if you can drive your never be out of work

You can travel or at the very least mini can or do delivery work

Tbh there are so many jobs you can't do if you don't drive

Even working in the next village would be impossible here if you didn't drive no buses

I think it's an important life skill, if you're can afford to fund it. We put our DC though their tests as soon as they were able one passed at 17, the other two at 18.
It's an expensive and lengthy process these days, and MUCH harder to pass than when I did mine some 25years ago.

Even if your DC isn't going to have a car for some time, it's still useful to get the licence because strangely we found that insurance is cheaper if you've had your licence longer (some places won't insure you if you've had a licence for less than a year), and same with car hire, often you need to be X age and have held a licence for 3 years - and that is irrespective of wether you've actually done any driving since passing the test!

Our DC are at uni and dc1 (22) hires Zipcar by the hour when he needs a car mostly travels by tube. DC2 (21), is in a cheaper city and runs a small car and this has delivery driver job that fits round studies, so having his license is earning him money (much more than the running costs of the car). Dc3 passed more recently and once he's had his licence for a year we will consider getting him a little runabout.

Everyone's priorities are going to be different but imo, having a driving licence is something that can open up a lot of opportunities and it's easier to get it out of the way when you are in your teens.

My friend realise heavily on her ex for lifts Ect

And I don't want ds to rely on anyone her daughter misses out on so many things because if her ex is working she can't go unless she can afford a cab home

Not driving limits you

I think YABU. I turned passed my test 5 months after I turned 17 and I'm 26 now. I have all those years of experience and no claims etc. I'm now watching so many of my friends struggle to find time and to pay for lessons alongside other expenses. When they do pass they're whacked with quite high insurance which adds more stress to their household. It also gave me the independence to get myself to school, go where I needed to go without relying on my parents to taxi me around. Absolutely vital in my opinion. My kids have a savings account that will be specifically for lessons and a car.

I learned at 21 between my degree and post graduate courses. I lived near the centre of my hometown with bus stops outside next-door-but-one, and a station for the cross city line a 5 minute walk away. My holiday jobs were within a 15 minute walk. I didn't see a rush to drive at 17, but did need to learn before I began my professional life.

Housemates at uni found that driving enabled them to do late night jobs such as supermarkets or security where they were too late or too inaccessible for pubic transport. One did a placement an hour away and could commute saving an increase in living costs.

I live in a bog standard suburb. A non driver would be restricted to working in the city centre or a couple of nearby small towns. I did have a job along the bus route which was handy when the car had problems, but the daily reality was that I didn't have the spare time to lug young children to their childcare settings, and walk a mile to the main road for the bus stops and catch a bus that was slower. It would have significantly lengthened my working day, incurred additional childcare costs for extra early starts and resulted in even more work being done at home. Possible, but detrimental to family life compared to a more direct and quicker car journey. I don't know anyone from 30s+ who hasn't found negative impacts to being a non-driver. Even the relative in central London learned in his 40s because a change in job meant visiting places beyond London and found a need to hire a car from obscure airports when traveling.

It's better to have a licence and the opportunities it opens when you are young. It's much harder when the choices are limited, there is little time to learn or fears set in. Once you have the licence, you're not obliged to use it, but can have refresher lessons when the need arises.

Well, I suppose it depends what you mean by 'vital'

If ther questions were 'Is it a good idea...' then I'd say yes.
Totally up to the dc though.
My 20 and 18 yr old were very keen, and were saving for their lessons before they turned 17. I have a nephew (19) who just isn't bothered - so it depends on them as individuals, which is also likely to be influenced by where they live / what they can access without a car.
Yes, it's expensive, but it's not going to get cheaper by waiting. Also, oncve you've passed, you've passed. It doesn't expire after 3 years or 5 years or whatever, so you might as well crack on when you are young, if you can.
Not sure why this hypothetical discussion would cause an argument though

Some jobs (like mine -surveyor) require you to be able to drive, even in London. Helping them to learn to drive with lessons does not mean that you have to buy them a car and insurance. If they want to learn to drive at 17 you could suggest lessons for their birthdays and money towards lessons, and then a part time job to help pay for insurance. It's probably easier to learn while they're still living at home, with you to take them out for practice and access to your cars. It is a useful life skill that should be facilitated if at all possible imo.

My dad is 68 and can't drive. My mum is 67 and learned as soon as she was 17 so they fit together well. Obviously it isn't essential but I think a useful skill to have. DS is 13 and looking forward to learning to drive. We do have a savings account that will cover some of the cost at least

Depends on transport where you live I guess.
I didn't learn when I was 17 as lived in a big city and transport was excellent. Then when I went to uni, I was always drunk so having a car would've been pointless.
I did it in my mid 20s when I moved to a county with awful transport and got sick of waiting for trains

It very much depends on where you live.
We are in a fairly rural area where buses run hourly between the 2 main towns north and south of us - until 6.30pm. After that there's nothing.
It is also virtually impossible to get to some of the other local towns as there are no direct bus links eg to get to a town 8 miles away, you would have to go 15 miles into the county town and catch another bus back out (probably 20 miles).
DS learned to drive at 17 and although he didn't have a car he could use one of ours at the weekends and in the evenings. He then went to Uni so only drove in the holidays. However, he was also building up a no claims bonus during this time by being a named driver on our policy. He decided to take a year off Uni so he had to get a job. It would have been virtually impossible to do this without having a car so we bought another car and his insurance was actually quite cheap as a)he had been driving over 2 years and b) he had built up 2 years no claims bonus as a named driver. So it isn't a waste of time them learning to drive before Uni if they can be added to your insurance.

My dd is 17 and learning to drive we got her 10 lessons as her birthday present. She has saved up and has her own car and it's insurance was less than £500 fully comp (5 year old polo 1.4 petrol) on a multicar policy. Worth shopping around for insurance!

So pleased I learnt at 17. My mum & dad paid for all 3 of us to get on the road. I find a lot of older people struggle to justify the money when they have children & house etc to consider so keep putting it off. They love a lift in the car though!

It's just easier when your 17. I was doing a-levels, working pt and living at home so I had the time and the income. Would have been much harder during uni and jobs I applied for needed me to drive

My siblings and I all learnt as teenagers. We have all driven on and off over the years (my sister and I both live in London and don't have cars currently) and were fortunate to be given cars to use while at University when our courses demanded that we have them. Since graduating being able to drive has also at times been essential for our jobs (solicitor, doctor, teacher). In fact the last four years have been the first time in my professional life I haven't had to have a car and I onky manage to do that by living within walking distance of work. I'm lucky the area round my employers base is somewhere I would chose to live but not everyone in my profession is in the same situation and I chose a central London flat with parking (with the associated financial implications) in case my situation changes.

Learning later, as I watched friends doing, is really hard work and not being able to drive narrowed their employment opportunities/ forced them to live away from home as the commute was unsustainable on public transport but do-able in a car.

However not everyone has the financial resources we were fortunate enough to have access to so if you have the money go for it and if you don't then they will, like many others, just have to learn later.

Personally - coming from a generation where 95% of people I was at 6th form with left with a full driving licence, I'd say YANBU.

But there's been a massive generational shift (along with Generation Rent) and certainly DSs (20) peers have been in no hurry - only one of them (out of about 10) has actually passed his test - and of the remainder, only 2 have provisional licences (and despite being given the money, DS isn't one of them).

Generally, along with not affording a house, the attitude seems to be "why bother ? I could never afford to run a car.".

Now my suggestion - to DS (and posse) is that it's always good to have a licence. Even if you don't have a car, it's a bonus for jobs that do. But, kids today ...

In DS case, he has a 17th birthday present he never "cashed" which was paid-for driving lessons until he passed his test.

When taken alongside the suggestion that todays babies will never need to drive, it's an interesting situation - and not good for car sales ....

I've learned (or tried to) in my 30s and 40s (when I passed)
It's more expensive and much harder to fit the time in

I wish I had learned much easier. Even though I didn't need to - I could have changed jobs earlier, I didn't apply for lots of things when j couldn't drive

It's a lifeskill, I think, like learning how to cook and budget. Part of becoming an adult if you like. It brings an independence and responsibility - I had use of two cars once I passed my test. Learning was my 17th birthday present like most of my friends.

In return I was expected to take my share in ferrying my brother about and also to pick up my parents after a night out. I thought that was fair enough - in fact at 41 (my age now) my father still tries to argue that I still owe him taxi rides.

Apart from support during university I think it was the best gift I was ever given.

I really wish I didn't wait until my late 20s to learn. I was much more nervous and it took longer so was more expensive. Although driving lessons are pricey, it's better to shoulder that expense as a young single person than when you have a family. They don't have to get their own car right away. You could add them to your own insurance so they can keep their driving skills fresh.

Not driving really limited me for years. I don't live that far from London, but the public transport is pretty unreliable. I used to spend a fortune on cabs.

Not many people had cars at my uni, but the ones who did were very popular! And yes, it gave them many more part time job options such as rural pubs.

I didn't learn to drive until I was 40. I passed the test first time.
I managed ok before I could drive but I think my life would have been improved if I had learned at 17
See what your children want to do. They may feel it's important to drive.

My DD is at uni. Currently looking for internships in the holiday. Some places in London will only consider her if she has her own transport. Yes it's that competitive. She does more miles a year than I do! She uses it such a lot at uni too.

It's hard to learn at uni. Not always in the same place for practice, maybe not near mum and dad for extra practice. Then bang, on lots of job forms post graduation, they want to know - can you drive.
It takes time.

I'm assuming you are not in a rural area like I am, parents and teens round here all long for the 17th birthday and the day that Mum and Dad's taxi service ends. I do think it is a skill that is good for everyone to have otherwise even if you live in central London you would be restricted to only being able to reach places that are accessible by public transport, begging for lifts or paying massive taxi fares. If you were planning to visit me and you couldn't drive you would be restricted to an hourly bus service which stops at 6pm and then a 3 mile walk to my house.

I learnt at 17 and passed my test quickly . But I paid for it all myself. My parents didn't contribute to lessons or let me practice in their car. I had a job -so could do so (even though it took 1/4 of my weekly wage per lesson!)

DS is now 18. He has a provisional licence - but isn't interested in learning to drive right now. We live in a small town - the public transport here is very good. He is away at University in a town -which also has good public transport. He doesn't have a job- so if he wanted to learn to drive he would have to be funded by the parents.

Also I wouldn't want him to have a car whilst away at Uni - as he would end up being the designated driver and have carloads of drunk friends - who could also persuade him to drive even if he might be over the limit ?

not worth it.

If you live out in the sticks - then fair enough - but for many people there is sufficient public transport - and taxis - to manage until they really want/need to learn to drive a car.

Doesn't' it depend where you live? If you can use public transport or everything is within walking distance I don't suppose you really need a car.

However, it is useful to learn and get it out of the way when you are young with the proviso that if you are going to do that you need to carry on driving. There is no point passing your test and then not driving for several years (like me, I passed at 18 and then didn't drive properly again until I was 22!). So if they are not going to carry on driving, I wouldn't necessarily bother until they are.

Definitely learn as soon as you are able. It's much easier to pass then take refresher lessons when necessary than it is to learn from scratch later on while you're dealing with adult pressures and responsibilities.