School telling me what title I should use

[mumofone1234]

My child started a new school in September. A few weeks into the new term I received an email from the school saying that they would like to change the title they have for me on their records from 'Ms' to 'Mrs' and if I am not happy with this then to reply to the email. I replied saying I would like to keep 'Ms' thank you very much. All has been fine since then. All communication has said 'Ms'.
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Today I get a letter addressed to 'Mrs Mumofone1234'? AIBU to wonder why on earth they care what title I assign myself? Is this a stealth way of finding out the marital status of parents? (It is a hard to get into school that goes off church attendance).

I agree it seems a trivial thing on the face of it, but its irritating that in 2016 this is an issue. Men just have Mr and could be married, single or divorced and nobody can tell.

To go to the trouble of actually asking me to change from Ms to Mrs is quite mind-boggling. What difference does it make to them...every drop down box has this option, its not like it's a title that I completely made up and has never been heard of before!

Ooh, God...hope not! I don't want us to be chucked out of the school!

Might be wrong but I suspect that using Mrs is making it very easy for them. There are oly two possibilities, Mr and Mrs, no need to think and check if Mumofone is a Ms or a Mrs iyswim.

In some ways, I do hope its something as crazy as that because otherwise I just cannot see why they would ask you to do that....

I wonder if they are just doing a data cleanse? I use a database for contacts at work and you have to choose a title (there is a long list but you can't leave it blank). So if I happen to be adding a female and don't know what title she uses I just pop in Ms. But I know not everyone likes that so I will try and find out at some point what she goes by.

Possibly they had a few new mums down as Ms and wanted to check.

The latest mailing might have just been an error or they haven't realised you like ms. Just tell them again. I doubt it has anything to do with church school. Lots of great feminists in the church of England and I always thought that was what it meant 'not that you are an unmarried mother (not that I expect any church school these days would be at all shocked or judgmental if you were).

I get mrs 'husband name'. I haven't changed my name, but school has. I don't care, I ignore most of the emails and letters anyway. Dc are always the ones in uniform on mufty days. It's strange to bother to ask and then ignore your reply though, why would you want to change?

I used to work in a school and updated the record system. What we really needed were phone numbers to try and work out where suspected truants were, or contact details of emergency foster carers or parents that had got out of prison. Ms or Mrs wouldn't have even crossed our minds as being an issue!

I am Mx Remembering on our ParentMail. I was really cheesed off that I couldn't pick Ms

I hope your explanation is right as to why they asked, driving. But then it doesn't explain why even though they went to the trouble of asking if I minded them changing it they have started using Mrs after a period of using the Ms that I said I preferred. I'll have to see what future letters come addressed as, as to whether it was a blip or not. Very strange.

It's odd how much importance some people attach to titles. I have tried to go without a title at all, not Mrs, not Ms, not Miss, not anything, but it's virtually impossible.

If people ask, I say I don't use one and just to call me Middling, but most computers can't cope with the concept. Even ordering a box of teabags the other day was impossible without a title, the computer kept telling me there was an error. Yes, the error is that it thought I needed a title to buy teabags

OP, I'd go back to the school and complain nicely.

There's a field on SIMs for parents which says 'preferred form of address'. If I'm dropping a parent a line it can be a bit of a hassle to look it up and I usually only check because the surname can be different. If I knew a mother's surname I can easily see me addressing them as Mrs instead of Ms in a rush.

That's interesting, remembering! How did it have a 'Mx' but not 'Ms' ?

But would you know a parent's surname because you're assuming they have the same surname as their child? Not everybody gets married.

Would be better if we had just one title for women the same as we do for men, because its confusing anyway. As seen on this thread some married women go by 'Miss'. You could be 'Miss Maiden name' even when married, or 'Miss Married Name'. Heck, you could use 'Mrs' even if you're not married (though that would be weird ).

Oh jeez get over yourself. They're probably just trying to simplify things for when they have to communicate with parents. I really wouldn't get my knickers in a knot over it!

It's something to do with the way the data is stored or the way the data is read?
We have a system at work that records customer details. We are requested to only use Ms or Mr. Regular audits are performed and we get pulled up if we've entered Miss, Mrs, Master or Dr.

Use Mx. Insist on it. It can used by anyone of any gender. That'll Fiona em.

Haha, middling, I missed your post, but it's great .

Fiona? That should read FOX as in, that will fox them.

Haha, says MrsNuckyThompson

But would you know a parent's surname because you're assuming they have the same surname as their child?

No, I never assume that. But if they emailed me and their email address was [email protected] and they signed off their email Janet Smith then I might well reply Dear Mrs Smith without looking it up.

But Nucky - when like 30 years later, it's even a freaking question, then dude we're gonna twist our knicks, Mrs Nucky, or is that Ms Nucky?

I'm miss x, DS is DS y-X. His shitty school all call me Mrs X even though I've pointed it out numerous times.

Last week at an important hearing re Ds education even a tribunal judge pulled the school up on it - he seemed to think it was important enough so I agree actually it is deemed to matter and imo is actually very rude.

If it was one mistake id ignore it, if it's something sent by a system that proves they've changed the registration details I'd pull them up immediately.

I'm Miss and school constantly address letters to me as Ms. It does my head in!

Slightly off point, but whenever I get the chance to choose a title on something unimportant (e.g. a loyalty card/junk mail generator), I go for the most outlandish title I can find.

My favourite is Commander. Just love receiving post with it on. And the looks on the assistant's face in Hotel Chocolat when they swipe that card.

And you should definitely have the title you chose, OP!

Jeez, MrsThompson, do you always get your knickers in a knot about other people asking questions in AIBU?

And, I think the Mx is a good idea - and who the fuck would know I'm a Fiona? was that an autotext that equates these thing with Fiona? I stand proud and very Fiona.