Leave House to brother or DCs

[HouseDilema]

I've name changed for this as I don't want to be identified, post may be a little vague because of that.

DH and I own 2 properties, one is a very nice House in a lovely area just outside of London, the other is a cottage by the beach that we rent out throughout the year.

I have a brother, who's 15 years my junior and who has ASD and DCs ranging from 15-25.

Until recently DH and I had our Will set up so that DB would inherit the cottage and DCs the family home to sell off and split, however we've now changed our minds for a number of reasons, including the governments current attitude towards the disabled.

We want to give DB our family home for the rest of his life, he's currently in his 30s with the mental age of an early teen, he can't live alone and he'll need care for the rest of his life. To fund the help that he will need, we have decided to keep the cottage for him as well so that he'll always have a income.

The new Will states that now we shall be leaving DB both properties and once he passes, the DCs can inherit both.

DH and I thought the best approach was to tell everyone and make our position very clear. It didn't go down very well, especially not with our eldest who's only 10 years younger then DB.

I don't think I am being unreasonable but I can see that their attitude really hurt DH. I understand the current housing climate but they are not the ones with the greater need.

Surely your brother would be better in sheltered accommodation? Who does he live with at the moment? His needs are far better met by the state. You will end up with your sons having to make sure their uncle is cared for out of the money they should have inherited themselves.

I don't blame your children for feeling hurt and resentful. You're not making them want to take care of their uncle after you die, are you?

OP - are you essentially forcing your DB to live in your large family home until he dies, as he can't sell it and move somewhere more appropriate for him, as it has to be passed on to your DCs?

Is there provision for him to ensure the house is maintained, or will your DCs have the responsiblity of managing the large family property, without any ability to sell it?

Agree you'd be better off trying to get him settled living independently now, rather than assuming he'll be able to suddenly cope with a large family home on his own after your death - are you effectively cutting out your DCs from inheriting and also expecting them to give up their time (and possibly income) to look after their Uncle? It's also worth thinking about if you will be limiting what help he'll be entitled to from Social services if he has a large house plus also income from another holiday home.

Assuming there would be inheritance tax as well, will your DCs also not get any of your savings if your cash/shares etc have to be used up to pay the IT to keep their uncle in the house?

Who is going to look after your brothers interests does he live with you leaving him 2 houses is a huge responsibility imo i personally would leave him the cottage as a rental income for him does he have a job ? Him having properties might affect his benefits. It is very generous i can see why your son was miffed but make sure it is tight with somebody reliable looking after your brother.

This is something I have investigated while putting together a will for my parents, as I have disabled sibling who lives in the parental home. The estate will be about £800 (at today's values), so we had to take inheritance tax into account. Regardless of whether your brother is disabled or not this would have to be taken into account.

Social services were consulted about what would happen with my sibling's benefits and after a lot of investigation we were advised to leave the property to me for my sister to live in for as long as she is able to safely and happily live there. It may be that she becomes ill, or lonely, or a danger to herself once my parents die - in this case, in conjunction with social services I will find her somewhere more suitable to live - perhaps a home.

There is also a pot of 100k to be kept in my name but with the intention of this being used for ongoing repairs on the house and to supplement care or anything my sister may need. Obviously this depends on me being trustworthy and putting the needs of my sister first. My husband is on the same page as me - and we are both committed to looking after my sister - who is older than me.

Your poor children, what if things go wrong for them in life and their own parents didn't even look out for them. Surely your children are your first responsibility not your brother

I agree with PP this looks very unbalanced and problematic to me.

You don't want DB going into care but it's OK for your 15 year old to be homeless and penniless if you and DH die next time you are out together? I just don't think you have thought this through.

You say your DC are all able to stand on their own feet, but life is shit and thoroughly unpredictable. What if one of them suffers a serious injury or illness and needs help to manage? If you are dead and DB has everything they will be in dire straits.

I can't understand why you can't just leave DB with the cottage or with a lump sum from your estate that would enable him to buy a flat?

I don't understand why you're leaving him both houses

Or are you expecting one of your now disinherited children to step in and look after him for you?

Another very good point, though the kids haven't necessarily been disinherited as such.

And your children as a Pp pointed out you could both die tomorrow you have dependants. Also what Dinosarroar said

Are the DC your biological children or step-children? Your attitude is a bit foreign to me in that I feel it is very important to leave a secure legacy for one's kids when one dies if at all possible.

oh and I agree that it should have been obvious that your eldest DC would be upset at being disinherited in favour of their Uncle. You are giving them the burden of care while also saying that you consider them to be less important than your DB.

Another thought, what happens if you die before your DH? If say you died next week, will your DB own half the family home? Will your DH be able to sell it if it no longer suits his needs, or is he stuck in the house until death? If he makes it to his 80s and needs to be in a flat, would he be able to release the money? What happens if your DH wants to remarry, will he be able to leave his share of the estate to someone else other than your DB or are you tied this all up tight so he'll be unable to do so?

If you/your DH need care in old age, are you expecting your DCs to do it, knowing that they won't be inheriting anything from you?

Why not give your DB a life interest in the family home with your DC as owners? Neither they nor anyone else could force him out or use the equity to fund care, and he would have a guaranteed home for life.

Wow. You must really hate your kids. At best dislike them.

I dont know what a single bloke need a family home to live in for.

it would be leaving him in the hands of others

Surely, when you and your dh die, he will be left in the hands of others anyway? Someone will have to monitor and organise his care, and someone will have to provide that care.

Your DB could live for a very long time, and even outlive your own DCs. So this is a situation where your DCs could possibly never inherit anything from you at all.

While right at the moment you feel that is okay, life can be very cruel. One of your DCs could be in a life-changing accident, have a child with severe disabilities, suffer a terminal illness that causes them to be unable to earn. Who would then have the greater need?

I think you are creating a situation where there is the potential for a lot of animosity to grow between you and your DCs. I also think it is somewhat awkward that your DH's share of the two properties is left to his BIL rather than his children.

I'm confused, Is DB not actually inheriting the property, does he only have sole use of it until his passing? If he is inheriting it how are you to make sure it is passed to DC upon his passing? Also, can you be certain that if he did need state care in future, they couldn't insist it was used as an asset to fund his care?

Actually, as nobody else has gone there yet, I will. Reverse?

I totally get your approach and suspect I would do similar if I thought it best for my brother especially if I were in a position to support my children whilst I lived. I don't really get the emotional 'being cut out of wills stuff' but I am definitely not representative(!) and have never had any 'expectations' so that no doubt affects my thinking. I would hope my children understand the need for my brother to have cast iron high quality support. Maybe an open conversation about how to achieve this with your eldest would help?

A number of good points have been made though about practicalities (such as your 15yo) and whether this is the best way to support your brother. But I'm not qualified to comment.

I can see why you've done it like that but who's going to manage your brother's assets after you've gone? You may be leaving him in a vulnerable position of not being able to access support due to his assets and income.

I also wonder if you're being optimistic about the holiday cottage being able to provide enough income to pay for his care - once management fees, tax and possible legal fees for completing tax returns etc have been taken out, will it be enough? Particularly if he also has to pay out to run a large family home too. Presumably his only other source of income would be DLA or PIP.

Realistically, assuming you both reach a ripe old age, what are the chances of him not needing residential care? You could end up with the house being sold for care fees for him to be in the same place he would've been if he hadn't had a house to sell.

What's his current living situation?

Who is going to clean this large family home for him? Pay insurance, or heating? Ensure he does not fill it with kittens ?

Your children? Are you not creating a "cinderella" situation where your own kids will be expected to care for their uncle living in their former family home?

Why not buy him a small one bed flat that is easy to manage and reasonable to insure and heat?

Who is this about? Is it really is what is best for your brother is is it about making yourself feel better?

It's up to you but the reality is that, unless your db dies young, your dc will inherit as pensioners or not at all.

Youve got a 15yo?
What happens to him if you and dh die tomorrow?

Another thought - your DC could contest the will, then DB might end up with a massive legal bill and no one in his corner.
Does your DH really agree with this ?

You need to get legal advice.

Your best bet is to put the properties in trust for the benefit of DB and DCs. Since your DB would not own the assets this would not impact on his eligibility for benefits. Your DC can also benefit from the trust if you like, together with your DB. They would not have to wait until after his death. The advantage of such an arrangement is that it also protects your assets and your DC's interests should DB marry or enter a civil partnership.

It is quite straightforward but you need a lawyer/tax advisor.
Do not try a diy solution. Your money will not end up where you want it.