Leave House to brother or DCs

[HouseDilema]

I've name changed for this as I don't want to be identified, post may be a little vague because of that.

DH and I own 2 properties, one is a very nice House in a lovely area just outside of London, the other is a cottage by the beach that we rent out throughout the year.

I have a brother, who's 15 years my junior and who has ASD and DCs ranging from 15-25.

Until recently DH and I had our Will set up so that DB would inherit the cottage and DCs the family home to sell off and split, however we've now changed our minds for a number of reasons, including the governments current attitude towards the disabled.

We want to give DB our family home for the rest of his life, he's currently in his 30s with the mental age of an early teen, he can't live alone and he'll need care for the rest of his life. To fund the help that he will need, we have decided to keep the cottage for him as well so that he'll always have a income.

The new Will states that now we shall be leaving DB both properties and once he passes, the DCs can inherit both.

DH and I thought the best approach was to tell everyone and make our position very clear. It didn't go down very well, especially not with our eldest who's only 10 years younger then DB.

I don't think I am being unreasonable but I can see that their attitude really hurt DH. I understand the current housing climate but they are not the ones with the greater need.

Also owning property like that might make your brother ineligible for benefits.

Okay, I will relent and agree that I may somewhat be acting unreasonably. I don't want DB to live in a care home or council/housing association because that won't reassure me, it would be leaving him in the hands of others and I'm not comfortable with that, especially not in the current climate.

I do like the suggestion of selling family home and using the income to get him something else, but I doubt after splitting it 5 ways that we could find something in our current town and I'm not sure how I'd feel if he had to move somewhere he didn't know at an old age.

My biggest reason is that DCs can take care of themselves, lots of people go through life without a nest egg to fall back on. Even if we weren't leaving it to DB, if all went well then they wouldn't inherit until they were well into their 50's

If there's only a small gap between dc and your brother then you are essentially saying that they won't inherit anything or if they do it will be so late in life that it won't be of any great practical use i.e. As a house deposit etc.

Please get some advice from a solicitor experienced in trusts. By leaving your brother the house absolutely you could be stitching him up in the long term if he needs state help. There may well be other ways of doing it that mollify your son as well as better providing for your brother (eg leaving both properties in trust for the benefit of both)

You need to speak with a specialist solicitor, with Court of Protection experience. If you just do a standard will in these circumstances you leave your db very vulnerable in the future. It may have beenbetter to appoint a couple of your children as trustees of your db's affairs upon your death, with the proviso that his needs are met. However, by jumping straight in and discussing your current plan with your DC you may have soured their attitude towards it all. I would have manoeuvred a conversation with the older DC about what might happen to Uncle X rather than present a fait accompli. You might have found they had some good ideas.
It may be by the time this actually happens, his needs are best met by a small flat in a development with built-in support, with additional help as required. This could be funded by the sale of one of the properties - but as it stands you are leaving him to deal with the sale, solicitors, estate agents etc etc. You need more of a Plan.

Of course he will be in he hands of others after you have died. Surely it's better to set that up while you are alive to make sure everything is working?

Your legal advice may have covered this but be careful you wouldn't be disadvantaging him in any way. Would he have enough income - if he is deemed to have significant assets could this stop him accessing other help. My brother has significant long lasting mental health problems and is unlikely to ever have employment/ needs ongoing support. My parents will has set up a trust for my brother when they die of which I will be in charge. This is partly to ensure money is used wisely as he would be very open to exploitation. Sadly that happened a number of times to my great uncle who had similar problems plus a large inheritance.

Another thing to consider is presently you maintain the house and cottage. If a situation arose where your DB had the properties for quite a number of years before the DC inherited do you risk the properties being run down and much deteriorated in value. Property ownership is quite a responsibility.

Set up a family trust. DC and DB can be beneficiaries as well as a professional trustee. The trust can house your brother but any sale profits to your DC, or another arrangement. A trust could be the answer here.

However, I think you are BU about your DC. Unless you've already helped them onto the property ladde.

What the fuck??

Why isnt 1 property enough for your brother, and the other for your DC?

It's unnecessary, and if the cottage isn't enough for your DB then at least leave THAT to your DC.

Unspeakably nasty of you to cut your DC out like that.

I'd be concerned that whatever laws in the future would force the sale of the property in order to fund whatever long term care your brother needs.

Could you will it to your DCs with a trust that takes any income from the cottage to support DB? Or something like that?

I'd totally understand their upset - and it isn't necessarily about the money. Wills bring about resentment because people equate the money with how much they are cared for.

" - if he is deemed to have significant assets could this stop him accessing other help "

exactly my point, and a good one.

wow !! i can understand why you want to make sure your DB is looked after but it must be such a slap in the face to your DC's and l am not so sure that they will not end up resenting both you and your DB.
Trying to get on the property ladder is really hard for youngsters nowadays.
You do realise that your DB may outlive your DC's??

The thing with a will is that, as someone else pointed out, it could be enacted a lot sooner than you hope.

The point about your 15 year old someone just made is a massively important one - your 15 year old would be OK if you don't have a will at all and die in a car crash with your DH next time the two of you go out together without the kids, but with the will leaving your DB everything your 15 yo might end up in care without anything to his name, depending on whether his siblings are in a position to take him in...

If the will is only intended for an ideal situation in which you live into your 80s or 90s make it in a few decades time, or make a more complicated will that specifies what happens if you die before your youngest child is 21...

I can see why they are upset.

Also it is a terribly thought out plan - how the hell with your brother manage the rental income. How will he find tenants? How will he do his tax return?

Or are you expecting one of your now disinherited children to step in and look after him for you?

I think YABU but really lovely.

There must be other ways to help your brother. What if one of your kids had a child with a disability and you've left all financial benefits to DB?

Who will manage the properties on behalf of your brother? Also what if their value decreases due to poor management, or the income is insufficient to cover the costs of increasing care needs?
I also thought putting a property in trust in this way might be considered a deliberate deprivation of assets and thus be voided legally if the total care costs were higher than income, although I'm happy to be told otherwise - but it is clearly a loophole and therefore you should really expect it to close at some point as rules on these things change constantly, rarely in the favor of the financially prudent.
I understand your urge to future proof your brothers life but wonder if that is really possible?

Are your parents still with you? If so, do get your head round whatever provision they may have made for him if you haven't already. One angle to consider might be that if your children will end up with the responsibility for all your brother's needs and affairs, it is much better to have a set up that they are on board with.

You sound absolutely lovely and I'm sure you will do the best by them all.

My biggest reason is that DCs can take care of themselves, lots of people go through life without a nest egg to fall back on. But there is also a massive emotional component to all this. Family home, who is more important to you, who do you care about, why are you thinking they won't care for him... Lots of messy emotional stuff.

And you have messy emotional stuff too. My DC should stand on their own two feet, my DB is vulnerable, I can't trust anyone else to care for him, will my DC care as I do, will DB end up in a terrible state that's not his fault...

Have you looked at care homes and supports in your area? There were a couple of wonderful ones that I placed adults with LDs in while I was working for SS in London. I would have lived in them in a heartbeat and they provided care but also social stuff that a family couldn't necessarily. Independence balanced with care.

Surely if he owns all of that any benefits he may receive will stop? If the rental income doesn't cover his care and there's too many assets to receive government help where will the rest come from?

Who will have power of attorney for your brother to administer the estate / pay for care / sort upkeep of both houses etc? Are you expecting your DC to do this? If you are, then that might also be something they're annoyed about.

You children COULD take care of themselves, but you cant guarantee that. Why would a lifetime tenancy not suffice?

You could do that and leave a trust fund in place.

I completely understand where you are coming from. You will need to be careful if your brother has involvement with SS as if it's not in a watertight trust than it could be sold to pay for care. Your solicitor should be helpful with this but we used a very specialist solicitor for something very very similar. Also who will have power of attorney is important too. Don't let others who have no idea what it's like to have family members like this upset you with their comments. Of course you want your DB to be looked after for life because some of the care out there is dreadful. Your DC are young so may not see the bigger picture yet. PM me if you need more info.

I take it the offer for the brother is like a life rent where he doesn't actually own the homes but benefits from their use as long as he lives. This is quite common where there are blended families so that when the life renter passes it is split between the relatives due to inherit. I actually think it's a great idea and while I can understand why your kids might be a bit pissed off surely they understand why you're doing this and that they're likely to benefit in the long run. Maybe it's just me who thinks it's selfish expecting an inheritance.

Why not sell the holiday home, buy a smaller, low-maintenance, local ground floor flat for your brother, and leave the family home to DC?

You need to speak to a financial advisor. It sounds like you need to put the property in trust.

I would worry that your DB could be exploited and lose the house and/or cottage.

You could find that you can protect your assets through trust for after you die, create a small rental income and then split the assets on the death your bro.

Also thought the same about assets. Make very sure you're not just wasting the money. Which you would be if you leave him something but not enough to fund high level care indefinitely. People can end up going for the cheaper option from the off, because they won't have enough to fund the best forever and it's best not to move them. Give serious thought to that.

And while you mean well and that's to be admired, your children have every reason to be upset and angry. It's true that many people go through life with no financial help of that type. I am one. But it makes such a difference, and that's only going to become more significant as the divide between rich and poor grows. If you're 50, it's a completely different world from the one you were young in, and it's pretty terrifying for teens and young adults. You have a choice to mitigate the impact on your children to some degree, and you're choosing to delay in doing that. There are going to be consequences to that decision.