Surely people don't actually do this?

[Rollonbedtime7pm]

Noticed on a lot of threads about husbands and chores that so many people often ask the OP "why are you cooking/washing/cleaning for him?"

AIBU to think not washing your partner's clothes or cooking them dinner when doing your own is just weird?! Do people really operate in a "I look after myself only" kind of way?

I can understand if your DH is totally taking the piss and lets you do everything then maybe you need to rethink the chore sharing but just for the principle of not being a stepford wife?! Or because he's an adult or whatever the weird reason?

We have a laundry basket when it's full I put a load on I don't only do mine, that would be weird same with cooking I will cook a meal for both of us. I do the bulk of the housework, he does gardening, DIY car Maintanance, firewood, etc. I feel that as a SAHM my job is kids and housework. His is breadwinner and the chores he does

I was talking with a gay friend about this very issue. He was shocked how inequitable so many Hetero relationships are in this regard (based on conversations with colleagues and his experiences as a new dad, not MN). Gay men will tend to have a more equitable relationship with regard to chores I think because they're not applying a lifetime of conditioning regarding 'women's work' to their relationship.

qumquat, but I assume most gay men won't have kids. . Many couples without children will also have this "equitable relationship" when it comes to chores too.
Throw a few kids into the mix and things become far more complicated.

I do most of the washing. DH often irons his own shirts but I'll iron things too and do his shirts. I don't do huge amounts of ironing. If he was ironng he'd iron stuff for me and DS if it was there. If he puts washing on he puts whatever is there on. We wouldn't just do our own.
I usually cook through the week and he often cooks at weekend but we always cook for the three of us. Or we cook together. I can't imagine mak g a meal just for me or him just making his own. Seems bizarre.

I don't work and he works long hours and has work to do at home but we both do house stuff and he does his fair share with DS.

When I moved in with DH, we stuck to managing our own laundry. He just turns everything grey within a few washes, and his clothing is much bigger than mine, so I'd rather not have my clothes lost and tangled in his. I manage the DCs' laundry too.

I tend to cook. My employment history has varied with full time/ part time/ at home, but what is consistent is that I am routinely home before him, so it's more practical for me to cook, especially with the DCs' needing feeding.

Elsewhere in the household, it balances out. He does more DIY so that ebbs and flows.

I'm better at carving out leusure time for myself

DH does his own laundry. Because of his job, his work clothes smell slightly metallic and the smell lingers after washing. However although the clothes get washed separately, either one of us puts the load on depending on who's around.

Pink jobs and blue jobs here, with overlap stuff e.g. hoovering. I do the laundry and cooking and see to the garden, he does fixing stuff , shampoos carpets etc. Dds pitch in. Old fashioned maybe but I work part time and have more time at home. It works for us.

My husband works and I stay at home with our two daughters. I do most of the housework as it is only fair, he works long hours so why should he come home and have to do washing or cook his own dinner? I don't see that as me being oppressed or not being a feminist, it just makes sense. He irons, puts the bins out, washes up or takes his turn to cook etc. It's just how we work. When I had a job outside the house we had a far more equal split of chores but now I'm at home I do most of it. I'm not a put upon little wifey, I can't contribute to the household financially right now so this is my contribution. I'm not his slave, I am just doing my fair share of what it takes to keep a family and a household running smoothly.