To ask if you mind being addressed by your husbands initial?

[Zaratall]

In the process of buying a house and have just received some documentation.

I kept my own name when I got married so my name is Ms Zara Tall.

I've found that this has caused much confusion when dealing with anything official. People can't grasp that I'm a married Ms. So this latter has been addressed to Mrs Zara Tall and Mr My Husband. No biggie.

However the vendors have been named as Mr and Mrs Mansname Vendors.

I can't believe in this day and age people are still leaving women's names off official documentation concerning them.

Do you mind this?

(At least, that's what I understand it to mean. A knowledgeable etymologist will be along to correct me in a bit )

Having said the above, I just did a bit of googling and found that 'Mistress' (which Mrs comes from) didn't have any marital connotations originally - that has come later. Apparently Mistress used to be the equivalent of Mr and could be used by both married and unmarried women.

You learn something new every day! I thought that Mistress originally meant 'wife', but it looks like that's not true. In which case calling someone 'Mrs John Smith' is definitely not 'correct'.

I did change to DH's name when we married but what really pissed me off was our cheque book. It had Mrs Lara 2 and XXX 2 esq. Why should my title be shown but not DH's? Why should I be shown as married but not DH? I stomped off down to the bank and asked them to change it (this was about 25 years ago) and had such a battle. Apparently it was to distinguish me from any other woman with the same initials and surname - 'obviously' DH (being a male) wouldn't have this problem! I did win the battle and have never had Mrs on our cheque book or correspondence. A small but satisfying victory!

My SIL. Dreamt of being Mrs someone forever because that's how she saw her mum

Shows off her three rings saying she's achieved it all because that's the aspirations she saw growing up

Teaches her 14 month old daughter that she needs to not make a mess at her high chair because she'll never learn how to be a good wife and thus the fucking cycle continues

What's the issue with someone's getting married and changing their name on social media immediately?

This infuriates me. I can deal with it from the older generation, but (34yo) SIL does it. Any tips on how to ask her not to do it? If she comes back with the 'it's correct' retort I'll want to stick her 1956 copy of Debretts up her arse.
Plus, she WILL tell the MIL who is unfortunately very ill and I don't want to rock the boat at the mo.

To be honest, it doesn't bother me that much.

I still teach at school under my maiden name because I was there before I got married, even though I took DP's name.

It's just what's technically correct, isn't it?

Same initial, so I didn't really know it still happened.

I would be shocked!

Anyway, as a military wife I've got used to us being announced as Flight Sgt. Bomer and Mrs Bomer - even though I'm a PhD, by virtue of being in the military DP is considered to be higher in importance.

I now chuck wrongly addressed Christmas cards straight in the bin. And I gave up sending them a few years ago. Like the OP, I have kept my maiden name.

All my social media and documentation has my original name, and I've made enough not so lighthearted references to the fact that this is my name for everyone who knows me to 'get' it.

We've been married over 25 years FFS.

But I still get stuff from relatives with the wrong name.