to not want to put 4 yo twins in kids club on holiday?

[abbijay]

Next summer we're off on a sailing resort holiday with the ILs. I've had a very awkward chat this eve with MIL that if the kids want to go in kids club they can but if they don't like it they don't have to go or I'll go with them. She thought I was mad - she was polite but she was evidently shocked at the suggestion.
I work 4 very long days every week so to me holidays are precious family time not a time to farm my kids out to paid childcare unless it's what they want to do. Of course I'd enjoy time to relearn how to windsurf like we did on holidays before the twins but having fun with my family is a million times more important to me!

Your kids, your rules!

I am not a fan of kids clubs. If I didn't want to spend time with them I would leave them at home and holiday without them!

No! My DD went to a kids club this year at six and this was about the right age for her. I would have gone with her before this age if she had wanted to go. Four is little plus not unreasonable to want to spend the time with your kids!

It's a holiday not a prison camp. Everyone should enjoy themselves - even four year olds. If that means they don't go to kids' club that's fine, surely? Why does MIL care?

Completely agree. Winds me up when people assume I'd jump at the chance to ditch my kids. I was invited out one evening and was asked if I could 'escape' to come. On holiday I would definitely want to be with my kids.

Although I've never been to anywhere with a kids club, I don't really understand them! What is a family holiday all about if you want to dispose of the kids when you get there?

Why don't you ask them what they would like to do, they are 4 so might have an opinion. If they really want to go, I'd let them a few times as a holiday experience. But other than that, it's your holiday and for you it's about spending time with your kids so nobody should get in the way of that.

Basically your ILs don't get an opinion on this.

Is it a Neilson club? Even at that age they have watersports activities arranged at the clubs. We had planned to do half and half but our DS wanted to go all the time. Just go with the flow at the time.

Etak, as a kid I loved kids clubs. Maybe my parents were looking for some relax time but I have great memories. Did lots of stuff with my parents too! No need to criticise parents though for wanting or needing a little down time where they don't have to constantly keep an eye on kids and answer 'why' a million times and break up sibling arguments constantly, being on holiday doesn't suddenly make that fun.

I'd want to spend time with my kids on holiday also.

I agree - isnt that the point of a holiday - to spend time together and no more rushing about to childcare?

My DS loved kids clubs but didn't go anywhere that had them till he was 7...

However you are completely right..

To ask a child what they fancy doing 6/7 months time is unreasonable.. You can only go and see when they get there.

I love spending time with my children on holiday - they are also in childcare full time - but tbh after 5 days they seem somewhat fed up and want child company. So we sometimes do a few hours. I would selfish rather have them with me though!

Ds is 4 and would spend all day in the kids clubs on holiday if he had the choice The use of the words 'farm out', 'palm off', 'dispose' etc., are unbelievably s every. Of course if the kids don't want to go they shouldn't be made to but assigning some sort of moral superiority to yourselves because your kids don't is ridiculous. Different strokes and all that?

They may well love kids club. Dd loved it aged 5. What 5 year old wouldn't, given they do a chocolate party?

From about that age my pair went to kids club but only for a couple of hours max and they enjoyed it. If they were unhappy we wouldn't have made them. Also I only work a couple of days a week so a few hours just with DH seemed a great idea. Like most parenting it is about what works for your family.

My two loved the kids club on our holiday this year. But it's very much an odd afternoon/couple of hours activity, if the dc want to go. In ten days they went twice for two hours (when they had activities they wanted to do on) and once for an afternoon as they were doing a party.

I use them as an activity for the dc but not for childcare iyswim...I wouldn't plan a family holiday planning for them to go, and definitely not every day. It kind of negates the point of a family holiday IMO.

DD age 6 adores kids clubs. She's an only and gets fed up of me and her dad.

Plus, as above, chocolate party. She still talks about it now!

We've yet to do the kids' club thing, but seventy percent of the time we take my parents on vacation. We all get along really well, and have found a good balance between family time during the day, and rotating date nights of an evening.

My 5-year-old son is really outgoing, so I think he would enjoy a kids' club, but my husband works such long hours that it makes sense for us to maximise family time.

I'm with you, OP.

So MIL wants to spend the holiday with her kid ie your dh but doesn't understand you want to do the same?

I did scott Dunn this year with my daughter who is 7. This year was the right time for her. She love love loved it. I got some time to myself (single mum) and lots of time with her too. At 4 she would have hated it and I would have too. Your kids, your rules xxx

YANBU - if they want to go, that's different, but if they're not keen, it's totally fine that they don't go. If they don't like kids' club or they're a bit too little for it, why force them to go as if it's school/nursery?! It's their holiday too and as you say, it's nice to spend time together as a family anyway.

I know lots of people say 'Kids love kids' clubs! What child wouldn't?' but I think it really depends on the child. I know lots of kids do love it, but I honestly hated that sort of thing when I was a child - spending a day a) doing organised group activities and b) with a load of other kids I didn't really know would have been my worst nightmare. I much preferred it when we had fun as a family and we could all just chill out together or have a day out somewhere.

I certainly wouldn't stop a child from going to a kids' club if they wanted to, but I wouldn't make them go if they weren't keen.

So OP you are open to do what your kids like the best? That sounds perfect. I never understood parents frantically looking for kids clubs and hotels babysitting services from birth, the ones who can't wait to dump their kids with complete strangers in a foreign country, but each to their own.
Giving them the choice when they are old enough is great. They don't have to go full time anyway. Some children are actually enjoying their parents company.