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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to put 4 yo twins in kids club on holiday?

105 replies

abbijay · 22/11/2016 20:42

Next summer we're off on a sailing resort holiday with the ILs. I've had a very awkward chat this eve with MIL that if the kids want to go in kids club they can but if they don't like it they don't have to go or I'll go with them. She thought I was mad - she was polite but she was evidently shocked at the suggestion.
I work 4 very long days every week so to me holidays are precious family time not a time to farm my kids out to paid childcare unless it's what they want to do. Of course I'd enjoy time to relearn how to windsurf like we did on holidays before the twins but having fun with my family is a million times more important to me!

OP posts:
DustingOffTheDynastySuit · 22/11/2016 21:25

Like another poster said, if it's Neilson be prepared for them to BEG to go to club.
lots of lovely no stress fun opportunities for them to go out on dinghies and cats with club staff and instructors too - much better than slightly stressed rusty mum and dad trying to remember what to do, at least for the first few days Smile

bibbitybobbityyhat · 22/11/2016 21:32

Perhaps op really does "selfishly" want to spend time with her 4 year olds?

She's the adult, she gets to decide.

My children have never been in a kids club but then we've never been on a package holiday. I don't feel they've missed out.

Italiangreyhound · 22/11/2016 21:33

I think you and your kids decide what you all want to do and your MIL doesn't.

Frazzled2207 · 22/11/2016 22:12

I can totally see the attraction of a kids club and would encourage my kids to make use of it when older but no way would I "send" them if they weren't happy to go. Mine will be 4 next summer and too young IMO.
Your MIL is being very unreasonable- why does she care anyway?

DeleteOrDecay · 22/11/2016 22:15

YANBU, your kids so you have final say.

I remember going to a kids club as a child on holiday and enjoying it, it helped me make friends with other kids on the resort and we did lots of fun activities.

But I wasn't there every day and we did plenty of family stuff in between. It's all about balance, if they go and enjoy it then I wouldn't stop them from going again if they wanted to.

zad716 · 23/11/2016 07:55

YANBU. Though does your MIL think your DC should be there all day/every day regardless or just that you should persuade them to go at least once without you?

This year was the first time we stayed somewhere with a kids club and though DS (6) took a bit of persuading to go once there he loved it (I watched from a distance in case he didn't) and wanted to back. We did use it when it suited us and the activities suited DS.

lovelyupnorth · 23/11/2016 08:02

Really don't get kids clubs. But then don't get AI or sitting round the pool.

Agree with the your holiday your kids your rules.

Whathaveilost · 23/11/2016 08:04

Do what you want but have an open mind.

Mine are 20 and 17 but when they were your age they wanted to go all te time as they made friends.
We would let them go for., say 2 or 3 mornings. We still had all afternoon and evening with them to do family stuff and go out.
It's everybody's holiday.

I remember one year we had planned to out one particular day and them not to go to the club. A stream of ifs went past our apartment with the club leaders all having fun and a laugh. My eldest went into melt down because he wanted to join them. I think we relented that day.

I too don't get comments like 'palming them off' 'escaping' 'farming them out' etc. Everyone likes doing different things, that's al.

notagiraffe · 23/11/2016 08:04

YANBU at all. Holidays are family time.

BertrandRussell · 23/11/2016 08:06

What a gloriously judgemental thread!

Mils, package holidays, people who farm out, ditch, dispose of their kids..........

BertrandRussell · 23/11/2016 08:09

"the ones who can't wait to dump their kids with complete strangers in a foreign country, but each to their own."

I think this is my favourite. Not just dump with complete strangers, but foreign strangers.Grin And a lovely little passive aggressive "each to their own"

ghostyslovesheets · 23/11/2016 08:12

Well exactly Berty my dear! God help such parents when their kids get old enough to ditch them in favour of 2 hours pool games absailing or archery 😀 As mine did this holiday!
Most clubs run 2 hour sessions not all day kiddy jails

Inthenick · 23/11/2016 08:13

Some people are just needing to feel superior so take pot shots. It's a bit depressing.

lola111 · 23/11/2016 08:17

what a bizarre post. Most people do not put their dc (esp at 4) in kids club on holiday

mouldycheesefan · 23/11/2016 08:18

We did neilson holidays with our four year old twins. It wasn't a case of putting them in kids clubit was more a case of trying to entice them out! They did sailing, went put in speedboats, surfboards, swimming, tennis, yoga, cooking etc. Went by speedboatto anearby beach etc.
The nannies were brilliant and they made loads of friends. They have them out sailing from age 2. Fantastic ho,idays. I imagine your children may get a bit fed up seeing all the others having a great time and not being allowed to join in. But that's your choice. 🙄

Inthenick · 23/11/2016 08:18

Lola, many many do. Otherwise why would all these kids clubs be from 3-whatever age.

mouldycheesefan · 23/11/2016 08:20

The other things about neilsons is you can use thr kids club and nannies as much or as little as you want. Half an hour, all day, 10 mins, whatever suits you. My kids liked to see what the activities were and then decide which ones to go to.

BertrandRussell · 23/11/2016 08:21

" If they really want to go, I'd let them a few times as a holiday experience. But other than that, it's your holiday and for you it's about spending time with your kids so nobody should get in the way of that"

Nobody. Not even the kids!

mouldycheesefan · 23/11/2016 08:24

Another good thing they do at neilsons is a sleepclub a couple night a week. Thr kids go in their pjs and watch a a film and then go to sleep and mum and dad pick them up at 10pm. Mum and dad can go out for dinner by themselves.
They also do a kids tea at 5pm each day although kids can of course have another dinner later, but it keeps them going.
My kids are 9 and still love kids club on holiday, last year there wasn't one and they missed it.

StealthPolarBear · 23/11/2016 08:25

"
Yesterday 20:47Etak15

Although I've never been to anywhere with a kids club, I don't really understand them! What is a family holiday all about if you want to dispose of the kids when you get there?"

I used to , probably older than 4 though. As an only child they were brilliant

brasty · 23/11/2016 08:26

Your choice. Unless you are expecting in laws to look after the twins instead so you can have a break?

brasty · 23/11/2016 08:27

StealthPolarBear - Because lots of kids love them. It is their holiday too.

Ragwort · 23/11/2016 08:29

Entirely up to you - more to the point though why have you agreed to go on holiday with your ILs?

My child (an only child) loved going to kid's clubs and as a SAHM it was a real treat to enjoy time alone/with DH - and just NOT be a mum 24/7 - that was a 'holiday' for me Grin - but each to their own of course.

AddToBasket · 23/11/2016 08:30

Where's your DH in all this?

There's no way I would put my DC in a holiday club unless that is where they wanted to be. You are right, holidays are precious family time.

Thefitfatty · 23/11/2016 08:32

My two love kids clubs. We tend to holiday in pretty hot climates so after a couple of days of sweaty sight seeing and non-stop swimming they are tired and ready to spend a morning in an air conditioned room drawing and singing and playing with other kids. Gives DH and I a little quality time as well (because go figure, with both of us working full time we also don't get a whole lot of just us time!).

It's one thing to force them if they don't want to go, but if they are happy to, I don't see the problem.