Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

to not want to put 4 yo twins in kids club on holiday?

105 replies

abbijay · 22/11/2016 20:42

Next summer we're off on a sailing resort holiday with the ILs. I've had a very awkward chat this eve with MIL that if the kids want to go in kids club they can but if they don't like it they don't have to go or I'll go with them. She thought I was mad - she was polite but she was evidently shocked at the suggestion.
I work 4 very long days every week so to me holidays are precious family time not a time to farm my kids out to paid childcare unless it's what they want to do. Of course I'd enjoy time to relearn how to windsurf like we did on holidays before the twins but having fun with my family is a million times more important to me!

OP posts:

gamerwidow · 23/11/2016 08:32

I didn't want to use a Kids club when took dd(4) on holiday but in the end she begged me so much to go when she saw the other kids there I had to give in. Just play it by ear.

RoseGoldHippie · 23/11/2016 08:33

The kids clubs for me when I was a child were for around 7-12 year olds on days when parents wanted to stay at the hotel and not go out for the day. Kept us kids occupied with games and activities but my parents checked on me about 100 times a day or if it was a pool thing they sat around and watched. I don't think it was ever used as a place to leave kids all day - as people have said why holiday with your children if you don't want to spend time with them?

LittleLionMansMummy · 23/11/2016 08:48

I want to spend time with my ds on holiday too - we've never felt the need to put him into kids club (like you op I feel that my time with him is precious as I work). That said, he's 6 now, very sociable and enjoys being around other children. He currently has no siblings to play with. He would have been very happy to go to kids club on holiday this year to make friends. We still didn't, because we had lots of family days out together and there just wasn't time. I would no longer reject it as an option though.

Your twins have each other of course so that's a little different. Also, I'm not sure our ds would have been ready at 4yo. Basically I wouldn't rule it out as an option if yours seem interested, but you're definitely not mad to want that time with them. Do whatever is right for you and your dc and don't feel bad either way!

NavyandWhite · 23/11/2016 08:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BiddyPop · 23/11/2016 08:55

We have a DD who did a club for 2 sessions on holiday aged 2, quite happily. 1 session aged 4.

And now, aged 10, only does activities which are 1 hour long - hasn't done a kids club on holidays in years. And most of those activities required us to be with her. (Except hiring a dinghy for her to go sailing for an hour - we actually got to sit with a glass of wine in the beach bar watching her for that one!).

I suspect she will do kids club next year, as there are loads of water sports involved. But we won't force her to do it.

Holidays are family time - she's in crèche, school or afterschool club, or summer camps at home, most of the year. And as she's not the most sociable child ever, we're not going to make her miserable.

brasty · 23/11/2016 08:57

Some people are so judgemental. As long as everyone is having a good holiday it doesn't matter whether they are using kids clubs or not. Not using a kids club does not automatically make you a better parent.

acceptnothing · 23/11/2016 08:59

Go with an open mind. We've done activity holidays where we learned to sail/ windsurf/ waterski.
The DC went into groups with others the same age and had a blast.
They're not shut in a darkened room watching telly.
IME children like other children to play with an therein lies the success of activity holidays.

BiddyPop · 23/11/2016 09:06

Sorry, I should also add that if she wants to go, we are very happy for her to go and let us have a small amount of child-free relaxing time (not to "get up to anything", just actual quiet relaxed time as DD is still an absolute whirlwind - ADHD!).

But we still have plenty of time for things we don't get time for at home, like cooking together, board games in the evenings, and long walks together looking at local wildlife. Work and school and other activities all preclude most of those at home.

jennymac · 23/11/2016 09:10

YANBU - we never put the kids in the kids clubs when we go on holiday. They prefer to spend their time with us and as we work full time as well we really love having proper time with the kids.

toomuchtooold · 23/11/2016 09:37

why holiday with your children if you don't want to spend time with them?

Because you want a holiday and social services take a dim view of leaving the kids in the house alone for two weeks?

I think the whole "I want to enjoy my kids" thing is lovely as far as it goes but some of us lesser mortals need a break now and then. I'm a SAHM to 4.5yo twins and I have no extended family support. I have spent a lot of time with my kids. At about 4 they started being comfortable with going into creches for the odd hour e.g. at Ikea, and this winter we're taking them skiing which means 5 half days of ski school away from us. I'm happy to see how it pans out, they might hate it on day one and then we'll probably spend the rest of the week taking them about on sledges and going to the pool, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't bloody love it if they would go the full five days and let me have a couple of mornings in the sauna/lying on my lazy arse in bed.

MauiWest · 23/11/2016 09:59

BertrandRussell

I only meant that leaving children in a country with a different culture, with babysitters you know nothing about, when you know nothing about the legal requirements to check the background of said babysitters, is absolute madness. Would you leave a random stranger come in your house to babysit your kid at home? If not, why would you do it on holidays? I absolutely stand by what I said. In some countries (not further than across the Chanel) it's perfectly acceptable to slap a naughty child. Well, I wouldn't be comfortable leaving my toddler with a stranger there. Feel free to call me racist because you can't be bothered to think behind your own prejudice.

My au pairs and nannies have always been foreigners, from various countries, cultures and religions, but I knew who they were.

mouldycheesefan · 23/11/2016 10:01

Why let your kids go to kids club on holiday? Because they like sailing, windsurfing, learning to waterski, archery,tennis, zorbing, beach cook outs, astronomy evenings, beach parties etc and they like meeting other kids. And I like some down time. So if my kids fancy shuffling off to the kids club for a couple hours, why the hell not? " no darling, you must stay with mummy at all times. You may not go out in the speedboat with the other kids" wouldn't go down well.
People saying this have obviously never gone somewhere with fantastic kids facilities. 💐🙄 feel sorry for them and their kids!

DeleteOrDecay · 23/11/2016 10:04

Lots of holiday companies state that they hire dbs checked nannies with relevant uk qualifications...

Rosa · 23/11/2016 10:04

Mine went in as they wanted to when they were 3 &5 ( and the weather was rubbish). We went in as well and joined in some of the activities - encouraged by the staff. They were not in there everyday and we actually planned somethings round what activities they were doing. In the end we all had a great time and they still talk about it .

MrsWhiteWash · 23/11/2016 10:05

There's no way I would put my DC in a holiday club unless that is where they wanted to be. You are right, holidays are precious family time.

This surely ^^.

I think we had one holiday when me and my older brother wanted to go to a kids club and our parents let us - but that it.

I had a similar conversations with my IL though OP.

We have one holiday a year and book a family friendly resort - IL booked at same time apparently to "help us out" . IL have multiple holidays a year. Instead of being on the beach which kids would have preferred we'd found a compromise location - kids were happy and thought IL were too - suddenly get blinded by them complaining about us not putting kids in kids club .

The childcare was an additional cost and didn't look particularly fun and we'd book that resort to do fun things with the kids. We were both firm saying no and it was pretty much dropped.

It was really odd - they did try and say it was concern for us - but we were having fun with the kids, they didn't offer to baby sit and apparently this rare child free time would have to be spent with them not as a couple.

mouldycheesefan · 23/11/2016 10:11

Well obviously if the club isn't fun then kids wouldn't want to go. We tend to choose holidays with great kids activities because they like organised fun and are very much "joiners" .
People have some strange ideas.

NavyandWhite · 23/11/2016 10:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HandbagCrab · 23/11/2016 10:16

Ds, 4, loved kids club this summer! If dc hate it then I wouldn't send them but if they like it, why not? It is a holiday after all, why deprive a child of something they enjoy on a holiday

RoseGoldHippie · 23/11/2016 10:16

NavyandWhite

I think my message has been a bit misinterpretted (my fault) I mean leaving kids in a kids club all day whilst parents go out of he hotel on day trips etc and leave them all the time from first to last day. As was meant the first part of my post about how kids clubs used to work when I was a child.

HardcoreLadyType · 23/11/2016 10:22

We skied as a family when our DC were that age, which I think is comparable. They went to ski school in the morning, and we skied with them in the afternoon.

However, the first time we tried it, DS was only 3, and did not like ski school, so I stayed with him and we messed around in the snow in the morning, and then I got more of a chance to ski after lunch, when DH took over.

So, pretty similar to what you are suggesting.

I do like to spend time with my DC on holiday, and the fact that they learnt to ski when they were quite little has meant we can all ski together, if we want, now we are older. But equally, I wanted them to enjoy it when they were little, too.

Scottishchick39 · 23/11/2016 10:28

We booked a holiday specifically because it had a kids club, I love my 4 year old dearly and can't wait to go on holiday and spend lots of time with him. However, I'd like an hours peace a couple of times during the holiday to just lie there and read a book.

MauiWest · 23/11/2016 10:32

I'm a SAHM to 4.5yo twins

I don't know their date of birth obviously, and I am not trying to criticize here. I am in the UK, so at 4.5 yo my kids are already at school full time. By that age we don't spend that much time together during the year.

NavyandWhite · 23/11/2016 10:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KERALA1 · 23/11/2016 10:35

Mine hate this type of organised fun as did I as a child. Horses for courses but I'm with you op. By the time they are old enough for kids clubs they are able to play independently I found esp if a sibling. The time you really need a break is baby toddler stage and too young for clubs!

Original poster

abbijay · 23/11/2016 10:37

Thanks guys. Really appreciate all the thoughts!
If the kids enjoy it and want to be in it I'm happy for them to go as much as they like but I'm expecting there to be some reservations from them. DH is fully in support of this stance.
It's not actually a Neilsen trip but very similar - no waterskiing at this one which is my favourite bit!
I think the thing is the MIL wants the kids to grow up to be keen sailors and thinks this holiday will spark a passion. Then there's also the fact that (I think) they're paying for it so she doesn't want to waste her money on access to expensive facilities if I don't use my tuition time and nor do the kids. But to me it does seem odd that they're getting the chance to go on holiday with DGCs and not want to spend as much time as possible with them?! (We live a long way away so only see them every 6 - 8 weeks for a brief overnight visit)
We've holidayed with my family before and we've done the rotating date night thing and it's worked really well.
Of course it's nice to have time off from the kids - that's half the reason I work - but not putting them in kids club all day, every day just so I can do things for me.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5