I appear to have been kon maried by my brother...

[frogsgoladidadidah]

We are rarely in contact other than to wish each other a happy birthday. I live 1,000 miles away. He has done this to all members of our family now except our other sister.

I feel like slapping him around the chops with a wet fish!

No, you have got it Chin that's the thing.

OP was unceremoniously dumped by DB for offering to click and collect.

How bizarre. I think I would have replied asking my brother what the hell he was going on about.

The title is a reference to Kon-Marieing. It's a self help book about how to declutter.

I know the exact feeling.

It's a real fucked off flummoxed.

Mine was a text saying....

You are psycho and send that wall stapler back. It's needed for work.
Don't contact us again.

The last contact I had before that was my text to him asking if we should book somewhere for Xmas lunch.

So random.

Will someone please tell me what hatchimals are? Perhaps I am just not buying presents for the right age-group but I have never heard of them!

Do you think it could be a Landmark thing? Another poster mentioned it and while Landmark promoted my bro to tell me he'd been thinking I was shite for 50 odd years, he'd realised that was not the case and was ready to make up, it may have driven your brother the other way.

People there is this thing called Google. If you type a word into it, it will tell you all about it

Andrew some must have toy that's hard to find this year. Another reason I'm glad mine are adult

Nevermind about Landmark. Your brothers message doesn't follow their script (my brother's did).

Your brother appears to be an independently motivated annoyance.

There must be more backstory to this and a reason he feels this way.

I would wonder if he is an abusive relationship where he is being isolated from his family?

OP I'd be tempted to call him in a couple of weeks to say you'd lost your phone and hope he wasn't relying on you getting the hatchimals. If he really wants to ditch you then let him say it out loud and sound like a twat. As you're (slightly) prepared for it, then you can keep saying "are you joking? Oh you're so funny!" And not take it seriously. Then have after. Not saying this is a good idea, I just would be dwelling on it and need to either have a fight or a cry.

lizzie "independently motivated annoyance"

Does no-one actually pick up the phone and speak to each other these days?
Is it possible to ring him with a cheery 'just got a weird message from your phone, have you been hacked?'