I appear to have been kon maried by my brother...

[frogsgoladidadidah]

We are rarely in contact other than to wish each other a happy birthday. I live 1,000 miles away. He has done this to all members of our family now except our other sister.

I feel like slapping him around the chops with a wet fish!

This occasional contact thing - I just don't get the flounce. A distant, affectionate relationship is just that - you can't live a life of Hallmark moments, particularly at 1,000 miles distance.

Is he an all-or-nothing character generally?

OP just a heads up that you've outed yourself a bit by posting the same title and pictures on here and on a FB group

I would ring him and call him out on it life is too short for leaving loose ends

Haud thanks for heads up!

This just seems strange to me. Such minimal contact, presumably friendly, and then all this stuff about "i only want to be in contact with people i trust and like' ... it doesn't make sense.

I'd be texting back asking in a nice way what's going on. If he's ok and if therés something they need to talk about, if theres a problem can it be sorted out?>

I don't think he sent it....I reckon it's the wife, you say your family are a disappointment to her so it all fits.

I have a similar style relationship with my bro, we get along fine when required, but rare contact.

I know you said it upsets you but I'd not delete that...I'd keep it as evidence, you might need it to take the SIL bitch down one day.

How rude.

Could he be upset that you mentioned money in your text?

If they are hard up and can't afford the bloody things, though I have no idea what they are and how much they cost, could he feel you are rubbing in that you are better off, if that's the case and you are better off.

Otherwise I'll ignore the bugger.

I know someone like this, who I know has MH issues but I suspect has some sort of grandiose personality disorder. We were good friends, then suddenly she sent a text stating that she was "terminating the friendship" due to the lack of respect I was showing her. I was flabbergasted, I had done a lot for her, and it turned out to be something really bizarre like I had bought her a set of mugs from Wilko's (she had been homeless and had got a place, I was delighted and was buying wee things to try and kit her out as she had no money) which clearly showed that I had little respect for her. Apparently if I valued her to her true worth they would have been from Debenham's

I would ask your sister whether she can shed any light on it.

If you don't discuss it with anyone you know, there is potential for it to all be twisted round into being your fault.

Am I the only one who is completely lost? I don't understand the texts at all.

I don't know what kon maried means? I came on thinking the OP's brother had involved her in some sham marriage in Nigeria!

I just had to google hatchimals...they appear to essentially be furbies in an egg, TBH I would go NC with someone who tried to foist a furby on me and make me pay for it work of the devil that they are YABVU

Just the OP sent her DB a friendly text offering to purchase-on-his-behalf a high demand toy in the UK. The DB responded coldly saying he decided to cut her off and that she was not to speak of this to anyone they know.

I would be worried about him, tbh. Not sure what to suggest, but it's a bit odd and reminded me of the way a friend of mine behaves when they're on the cusp of one of their episodes (which happens every five years or so). I'd be thinking MH (because of my experience with my friend) or some weird shit pulled by his wife.

Yours does sound a bit like a sales pitch.

Soup's suggestion to talk with your sister (and everyone else) seems a good one.

My brother cut off our older sister 1 month before my wedding.

to begin with he also tried to dictate others could not talk with her. He was firmly told by all of us that he had no choice in who we spoke with and who we didn't

He spent a few years grumbling over this, muttering about how he clearly was not that important to his family if they couldnt " do this one thing for him" However never cut off all contact of our parents (i suspect because both heavily substituted him and girlfriend whilst they were studying)

A few years in he appeared to have accepted that no one would cut her off. He simply didn't mention her or engaged if she was spoken off. Helped at this point the 3 of us were all over the place so rare any of us were close together.

He could never truly explain why he had singled her out to cut off. If asked it was stuff like " well if you don't understand then I cant explain it" I used to worry that when one of our parents died it would be me from the Uk trying to sort everything out as he wouldnt communicate to her.

19 years it lasted.. Then our mother passed away very suddenly. Older sister who now lives in same town as mum and stepdad lived (older brother is 4 hours away - I am a 2 hour plane ride away) had to call him using our stepdads phone (as step dad was distraught he and my mother had lived together for 39 years) He spoke with her and since then it has been resolved to the extend that when older sister and niece went to the capital he lives near they all met and had lunch.

I never truly understood why it happened however he split with very long term girlfriend about a year before our mother died so she is out of the picture.. X step mother used to say she felt it was the girlfriend who was the one pushing this. We will never know. I am sad it took us loosing one of our parents for this to be resolved however at least it is. When dad and our stepdad goes then at least we can all communicate freely.

Without knowing more, it would worry me and I'd think he's going through some mental health issue/ anxiety / stress period and cutting off those that he consider are not going to help but only add more stress.
If you want your relationship to continue or even to be considered within the helpful group, maybe text back an understanding message saying that it's a shame he feels that way about you, you'd like to keep contact with him and his family and if he needs to talk to anyone you are there to do so without judgement.
If you don't really think there's anything wrong and you don't care much, then just reply with an ok.

I think he's wrong in deciding also about his kids'relationships. Cutting off the kids from family is not right. I don't see how any of you could be a problem when you leave a thousand miles away, though. Unless you question over the phone all his decisions. Very odf.

I think it's the 'do not involve anyone we know' but that gets me - who the hell is he to control your reaction to his action?

I'd let the entire family know . Sorry but I'd shout it from the rooftops and then cut him off altogether. Not helpful maybe but the helpful thing might be to respond and ask for a detailed explanation why .

What does 'Kon Maried' mean? Never heard it before, is it a typo??

KonMari-a method of decluttering by Marie Kondo.

Kon Mari is the popular Japanese magic art of tidying up decluttering process. You throw out/give away anything that doesn't "bring you joy".

It's supposed to be for shoes and stuff, not people!