Cleaner went through my purse and took money

[AquaAqua]

So to cut a long story short she didn't really steal from us but I still feel really uncomfortable about this. Cleaner comes on a friday morning and I normally leave her money on the table. On the one occasion I forgot in the past I took it round to her that evening. Today I forgot to leave it out when I had to go out for a meeting. I left my bag (by accident!) in my bedroom. When I got back there was a note on the table saying I hadn't left her money out but it was ok as she had taken the payment from my purse and hoped I didn't mind. Now firstly I am in the wrong because I should have left the money out but I feel really uncomfortable that she helped herself, and secondly we have the agreement that she doesn't do upstairs - so I wonder what she was doing even going through my bedroom. She has cleaned for us for quite a while and we have a really good relationship so I don't want to blow this out of proportion but I am not sure how to respond to this.... am I being silly that this is making me worry about trusting her or do I just leave it?

[GreenTureen]

You know what...if my purse was on the kitchen table, in full view...I could almost get over it, with a very blunt talk first of all that I do not expect it to happen again as it's unacceptable.

Going and searching in your bedroom (an area she's already not supposed to be in), finding your bag, then going through your bag to get your purse...absolutely unforgivable. She has no boundaries, clearly...she'd have the sack immediately if this was me.

[Sixweekstowait]

Funkky what on earth are you on about ?

[funkky]

Ok. Definitely unhinged or the cleaner. Feel sorry for you. Ciao.

[Sixweekstowait]

Funky [confused}

[Sixweekstowait]

or even

[FeedMyFaceWithJaffaCakes]

Well done Aqua.
I have a dog sitter and could never remember to pay her weekly so now pay her monthly after my payday.

[Totallybonkersmum]

Without doubt, sack her. She's betrayed your trust by not only going upstairs, but going through your hand bag.
That is the one thing I go dolally about; anybody, including my family, going through my handbag. It's my one and only place of privacy. If she knew where your handbag was, and where your bedroom is, I'd really question her honesty.
I had a cleaner steal money from me. I sacked her and threatened to involve the police. I didn't, because they obviously have better things to do. But I'd place a bet on the fact that the cleaner was scared out of her wits about any unexpected knocks at the front door! Serves her right! 😂

[DesolateWaist]

You should cancel the cheque.

[suzybe]

It's wrong without doubt. If my bag is closer to my OH than me and he wants cash for any reason he always asks, then will take my purse from my bag and give it to me. It wouldn't bother me if he went through my purse but it's just a courtesy. I wouldn't go through his wallet without asking either and certainly wouldn't expect a cleaner to go through our things.

[poppy54321]

I don't think she sounds so desperate for the cash that she couldn't wait a few hours for it. It's not a big deal in most peoples lives and most people wouldn't call that late no matter how dramatic posters on here try to make it sound. Going by past experience she knew she would be paid the same day. You have done nothing out of the ordinary. It happens all the time I'm afraid.

We have lots of tradesman round including cleaners and most would rather be paid online these days and say I'll send the bill later with the details on. Urgent cash on the nail isn't so usual round here as it used to be.

Good cleaners are hard to find though. I would rather she cleaned when I was in after this incident. If that wasn't possible if I am absolutely honest I wouldn't be able to stop myself thinking about what I left around just because some things are private. I am not saying she is not to be trusted and I expect it was innocent but it is unusual and surprising to go in someone's bedroom and handbag without asking and that would make me feel like my personal space had been slightly violated.

[SusanneLinder]

I am a bit confused as to why she doesn't go upstairs. Do cleaners not clean upstairs then...
Personally I think you are both in the wrong. She should never have gone into your bag.Ever.
However make sure you find a better way of paying her in future. If you are happy with her cleaning then just apologise for not paying her, but state that this is a breach of trust that she went into your bag...and move on.
Calling the police is ridiculous

[ShowMePotatoSalad]

She probably went upstairs looking for the money. I would be mortified if I had someone come round to work and I forgot to pay them. If they took the initiative to go in my purse and get the money I'd think "good for them" and think it was my own silly fault for not leaving the cash out. I wouldn't put them out of work or call the bloody police on them. Maybe I'm in the minority here.

[ShowMePotatoSalad]

Also no one can make assumptions about another person's life - she could be living hand to mouth for all we know. Amazed anyone would think this is a criminal matter. She didn't steal anything, she didn't trespass. She told you what she'd done...if she was up to something dodgy she wouldn't have told you she'd taken the money.

You made an agreement to pay her on the day for her services...you have to honour that. She can't just live in the hope that you will remember to pay her.

[dustarr73]

She probably went upstairs looking for the money. I would be mortified if I had someone come round to work and I forgot to pay them. If they took the initiative to go in my purse and get the money I'd think "good for them" and think it was my own silly fault for not leaving the cash out. I wouldn't put them out of work or call the bloody police on them. Maybe I'm in the minority here.

She had no reason to be upstairs though,she doesnt clean up there.Its no like the bag was on the table.Even then its not right but its in front of her.It just mkes me think of what else does she be doing that she shouldnt.

[ShowMePotatoSalad]

That's what I mean though - she saw the money wasn't where it usually is so she may well have gone looking for it...tried downstairs then popped upstairs to check it wasn't there. I wouldn't automatically assume she was up to no good.

[dustarr73]

f the money wasnt here it normally was,she shouldnt have gone rooting for it.To me its a no brainer.

[OohhThatsMe]

If we worked for a company who hadn't paid us on time, it wouldn't be considered acceptable if we went into one of the director's rooms, which is out of bounds, and took money from a drawer, would it?

The OP's told the cleaner not to clean upstairs - there's no reason for her to go up there. She could have phoned the OP and said she needed the money quickly, if that was the case.

[StefCWS]

in all fairness ive come across a lot of people that are perfectly nice but just have different morals to me. Perhaps she doesn't think it a big deal like you do as she knows she wouldn't have taken more that she was owed. I " like you" wouldn't go in someones bag but a lot of people prob wouldn't think it was an issue. if she has shown a good character in the past then put it down to different lifestyles maybe?

[CoastalSwimmer]

@brasty

You don't think someone earning under £10k a year is poor?

I don't earn much more than £10k pa and I certainly don't feel poor. My husband is a high earner and our assets are worth several millions.

[dancinfeet]

Sorry but I disagree with the people saying that you stole her labour. It's not as though you had no intention of paying her, and made a genuine mistake. I have a cleaner at my business premises, she is paid on the same day as the rest of the staff, which is 3 days after she cleans, I do all staff wages on the same day of the week (monday) so that no one gets forgotten. She is a CF going in your purse and I would honestly sack her. Had two staff members do this once, they left work earlier than scheduled, went in my handbag and took their wage envelopes with them, it was a complete breach of trust especially as the wage was the full shift, so they took the payment for hrs not worked too. Pay your next cleaner by DD or BACS.

[melj1213]

ZOMBIE THREAD


THIS IS FROM 2016

[Brollypackedforscottishholiday]

2016??
Oh my days!!

[thecatsthecats]

On balance, in this situation I'd apologise again for not having the cash out, but state that I wasn't happy with the breach of boundaries.

And I'd suggest that we now make a new arrangement - either you pay all cash for the month in one go up front (reducing the frequency) or a DD.

(When I managed payroll, I offered employees to choose between two options with different benefits for payroll - but I wouldn't have accepted any option they proposed. Needing to have a steady flow of cash in the house for the cleaner is a pain, and I'd gladly pay her 50p extra per h to set up a DD.)

[Nanny0gg]

@CoastalSwimmer

You felt the need to raise a thread from 2016 to brag about your millions. Why?

[SilverTimpani]

Definitely sack her. It’s a weird and inappropriate crossing of boundaries that makes her unsuitable for the role imo.