Cleaner went through my purse and took money

[AquaAqua]

So to cut a long story short she didn't really steal from us but I still feel really uncomfortable about this. Cleaner comes on a friday morning and I normally leave her money on the table. On the one occasion I forgot in the past I took it round to her that evening. Today I forgot to leave it out when I had to go out for a meeting. I left my bag (by accident!) in my bedroom. When I got back there was a note on the table saying I hadn't left her money out but it was ok as she had taken the payment from my purse and hoped I didn't mind. Now firstly I am in the wrong because I should have left the money out but I feel really uncomfortable that she helped herself, and secondly we have the agreement that she doesn't do upstairs - so I wonder what she was doing even going through my bedroom. She has cleaned for us for quite a while and we have a really good relationship so I don't want to blow this out of proportion but I am not sure how to respond to this.... am I being silly that this is making me worry about trusting her or do I just leave it?

Glad it is sorted.

I honestly would have felt funny about this too.

On the rare occasions that I didn't leave money out for my last cleaner, she either texted me, or I texted her in advance when I had realized. We have a couple of pots in the house with money in it, usually pound coins or fivers, so I have told my cleaner to help herself from them, and in fact told her to help herself if it ever happened in the future, however i would have felt quite differently if that had happened without the prior conversation.

theres not being trustworthy then theres being a theif

she could have said i wont be leaving without my money or please can u get some to me asap

u dont go down anyones purse

Sorry - I completely disagree with most. I work as a cleaner and have done for many years. I would NEVER, EVER, EVER go in someone's bag for money. That is totally wrong. I sometimes don't get paid, I would presume they had forgotten and would pick it up the next week. I can't believe it is being questioned that anyone has the right to go through your personal stuff!!
I'd seriously think about the relationship with her if I was you!! Taking money out of your bag is an absolute NO!

Do you really have a cleaner for fifteen hours a week, LH??

Glad it's sorted Aqua :)

Ldnmum I thought her other half told her it was out of order when she got home and told him what she'd done. Not a man behind it at all.

I'll be honest, I'm on the cleaner's side. She probably needed the money. I've been in a lowpaid job where my employer used to pay me a few days late in order to stop me from leaving, and it was murderously difficult, having to manage without money at all until she decided she could afford to pay me. No, she shouldn't have gone in your purse, but for all you know that was all she had to buy food with that day. No, I wouldn't sack her, I would say you don't want that to happen again, but you should really get your act together. As an employer your have responsibilities.

Many cleaners are living hand to mouth. They rely on being paid instantly to make ends meet.

I would also feel uncomfortable about someone going into my purse, however.

I would apologise for not leaving out the money and ask that if there is ever another occasion to give you a ring.

Out of interest, would you prefer her to have left without doing the cleaning because there was no money left?

Yes floggingmolly - as well as cleaning it includes quite a lot of general housekeeping, dog walking, dry cleaning, chores etc. It is ridiculous but life requires it at the moment.

Cool!

Yikes, this thread is batshit crazy!

No, she should not have gone into your purse I am so shocked that anyone thinks this is ok! Even my DH and DC know not to go into mine without permission, just like I wouldn't help myself from theirs.

I like the idea of sticking the equivalent of her wage in a tin somewhere, so if it happens again, you can direct her to the tin.

You handled it well, I am glad you got it sorted without drama.

Okay everyone I know who cleans,only does that and does rely on it

I'm a teacher and I do that and only that, and I rely on it. Very few people do the jobs they do for shits and giggles. I've also been a cleaner and truth be told I preferred being a cleaner

I wonder how different the comments would be if this were a plumber or decorator who had helped themselves to the money.

I REALLY need the money from my low paid job, yet I still have to wait until the end of the month for it, hoping the company don't go bust and can't afford to pay me!
I didn't agree to it, it was and is the terms of most jobs in the U.K.!
I can't just go into my bosses wallet and take the money out because I have effectively worked for it.

We had a dog walker for about two years- she was amazing. I paid in cash at the end of each week. One day I forgot- my car had a puncture that morning and my the time I'd got it sorted I was mega late for work- totally forgot to leave the cash out. I drove over to her home and paid it that night (like the OP) I would have been very uncomfortable with her going through my bag looking for the cash because I keep personal info in there- doctors letters (was having treatment for a cyst at the time) and payslips etc and that sort of info is personal to me. I would not have sacked her but would have felt that she'd crossed a line really- even friends or my husband don't go in my bag without asking. Waiting for payment for a couple of hours is not 'stealing' from the cleaner, she'd been paid within hours in the past. A quick text message would have been more appropriate from the cleaner. Don't sack her but have a frank conversation about the situation in case it ever happens again.

Glad it's sorted op

" I would talk to her and give her a formal warning of some kind like in any other job. At the end of the day she is your employee"
No, she's not. She's self employed who provides a service to ops household. Unless you have sanctions written into a contract (?!!) then there's no such thing as a formal warning I don't think.

Out cleaner most certainly does not live hand to mouth. I'm sure she's skint as she's just moved house. I have no idea what it's like but they have no dc so I imagine an oasis of calm. Like she makes ours for twenty minutes each Thursday.

Not read all the comments, but the OP has offered to pay her by direct debit or standing order and she has refused, this makes me wonder is she declaring all she is earning? If she agreed to this method of payment then she wouldn't be needing to go into people's purses! (which is out of order)

Sometimes I open threads on MN and wonder if I've entered into a parallel universe and this is one of them! The cleaner didn't happen to be changing OP's bed or hoovering in the bedroom and upon realising no cash was left out for her as it should have been remembered the bag and decided to see if she'd forgotten to leave it out (which still would have massively overstepped the mark). She went rooting round the house for cash! What if OP hadn't left her bag, would the cleaner then have gone through her drawers looking for it? Children's bedrooms? If the cash wasn't in the purse would it be ok to take a card she'd found to the cashpoint to try a few pins out? No! The cleaner would have the moral high ground if she'd refused to clean or asked in future to be paid a week in advance if she felt OP was mucking her around (and OP could then have refused that) but to go through someone's personal space is outrageous imo. I'm glad it's sorted but I'd be so upset if I were in your shoes OP.

This thread is brilliant!

My sister works for the NHS and the amount of times they haven't paid her for a shift or paid her wrongly is astounding. She is very often told that she has to wait till next month or if she's really desperate they will send her a cheque!

Maybe she should go to the CEO's office and help herself out of his wallet!

I would sack her

1. No reason to be upstairs.
2. She could have called you or text you.

Glad there are so many organised people who never forget anything around!

Ps glad you've sorted it op.

Two wrongs don't make a right, the cleaner had no right to rifle through op personal effects. If she needed the money desperately, she should have called or text op for the money. I woukd tell her tgat you do not want her rifling through your bag, nextime, call and you will bring the money round.

Talk to her. Tell her you felt uncomfortable with her taking the money. Ask her not to do that in future, nor to go upstairs. Apologise for forgotting to leave her pay out; re offer DD.

Sacking her seems extreme to me.

Totally understand why you feel uncomfortable with it but I can also see that maybe she needed the money urgently and panicked?
If you trust her otherwise I'd just ask her not to do it again - she should understand.

Some of the responses on this thread have been absolutely batshit! Are a few people on the sauce as it's Friday night?

goldie what on earth has my name got to do with being argumentative?

I think that is absolutely outrageous behaviour and she should be ashamed of herself not the OP. I can't get over the amount of people who are justifying the cleaners actions and giving the OP so much shit for forgetting to leave the money out for the second time in 2 bloody years. We're all human and forgetting twice in 2 years is not bad at all. It's not like the OP makes a habit of it or purposely didn't leave the money out