Cleaner went through my purse and took money

[AquaAqua]

So to cut a long story short she didn't really steal from us but I still feel really uncomfortable about this. Cleaner comes on a friday morning and I normally leave her money on the table. On the one occasion I forgot in the past I took it round to her that evening. Today I forgot to leave it out when I had to go out for a meeting. I left my bag (by accident!) in my bedroom. When I got back there was a note on the table saying I hadn't left her money out but it was ok as she had taken the payment from my purse and hoped I didn't mind. Now firstly I am in the wrong because I should have left the money out but I feel really uncomfortable that she helped herself, and secondly we have the agreement that she doesn't do upstairs - so I wonder what she was doing even going through my bedroom. She has cleaned for us for quite a while and we have a really good relationship so I don't want to blow this out of proportion but I am not sure how to respond to this.... am I being silly that this is making me worry about trusting her or do I just leave it?

[Ldnmum2015]

I think truthfully I would think about getting a new cleaner, a professional should accept dd, which is easier for both parties. From what you describe, I don't think you have to worry about her snooping before, but as you say and its quite valid, there may be times you forget and it puts you in a situation because the cleaner us expecting cash, and therefore plan her day on that assumtions, ie; she might not bother going to the bank for her bus fare, supplies, dinner etc if she knows there is cash as payment. I am lucky that if a customer forgets, as we all do, I haven't had to rely on it, so I have no idea how to answer objectively to you, if say I had got stranded because i didn't have bus fare. It was a overstep of boundaries though she did leave a note which does show she is honest.

[PlumsGalore]

Forgetting to pay her is close to unforgiveable, but going upstairs without the need, rooting around then taking it, just whoa!

If this happened I would be starting a thread on AIBU....

[shopaholic999]

This thread is infuriating.

It seems that it is now ok to rifle through someone private property! My dh is self employed, would it be ok for him to start going through customers handbags to get his wage! No it wouldn't, he can go weeks without being paid, it's the nature of being self employed!

If the cleaner wants regular definite wages then she needs to agree to dd or find a job that pays weekly/monthly

[Graphista]

There's assumptions being made about those of us saying sack her too!

I ABSOLUTELY know how it is to have no buffer, to have employers messing up pay resulting in not being able to pay a bill or even eat! I STILL would never have gone rummaging for the money!

[bbcessex]

I am laughing at the holier-than-thou posters who have stereotyped a cleaner into being a poor, hand to mouth, "what will Tiny Tim eat for Christmas" type character.

Bending so far over backwards to be liberal that you can probably see your own dusters . You are the ones who have the issue, not the OP.

My cleaner:
drives to my house
eats at the same restaurants as me
goes away on holiday (I pay her for the time she's off)
gets £12 per hour

OP - you are not wrong in the slightest to be unhappy that this has happened. I've had the same cleaner for 5 years. She is brilliant. Like your cleaner, mine prefers cash but is recently open to bank transfers. I have (on rare occasion) not had the cash handy (usually when she's changed days / done different hours). It happens. CLEANERS DO NOT STARVE if they don't get paid the second they finish. Some cleaners clean in schools, hospitals, offices... they do not get paid the minute they finish one shift. My cleaner has never and hopefully would never go routing for cash if I didn't leave it. I don't know what I'd do but it would drive a wedge.

.

But feel free to start a campaign or maybe produce a charity record for wretched cleaners everywhere .



She prefers cash. Most cleaners earn under the £10k or whatever it is annual tax allowance so they are not trying to avoid tax, as someone up thread said.

[Ilovehedgehogs]

It's so patronising to cleaners isn't it? Mine has just got back from watching the Ryder Cup in America

[AquaAqua]

So there, all sorted, I sent text apologising for for not leaving out money, she responded saying sorry she took money as apparently her dh told her that was 'out of order' but she didn't think I'd mind. I replied saying I felt a bit funny about it if I was honest, if it was ever an issue again I prefer she just phoned me. She came back with a friendly text saying that was fine.

[bbcessex]

Ha - bottom two sentences of my post somehow out of sequence!!!!

not suggesting you start a campaign OP

[brasty]

You don't think someone earning under £10k a year is poor?

[bbcessex]

Phew... all sorted then Aqua. Good work. Glad her husband was rational. You were right to feel .

I'm sure someone will be on in a sec to say how dare you expect your cleaner to use her credit to text you

[areyoubeingserviced]

Sack her

[bbcessex]

brasty... of the cleaners I know, cleaning is not a full time job or a career.. so I do think that £12 per hour for a (usually local) part time job / supplementing family money / working around childcare is not too bad, yes. And £12 is average... it can be much more.

[liz70]

Good to hear it's all worked out okay, OP.

[Ilovehedgehogs]

£15 here and they can pick and choose their jobs. Mine has started end of tenancy cleans too and that is very good work.

It's a very respectable form of self employment.

[brasty]

Okay everyone I know who cleans,only does that and does rely on it.

[Ldnmum2015]

Well done aquaaqua, I did wonder if there was a man behind it!

[LHReturns]

Well done Aqua. I also pay my cleaner in cash as she doesn't want bank transfers. I was clear from the start that while I was happy to pay cash I wouldn't always have the cash dead on time each month.

Paying cash is a total inconvenience and probably is tax avoidance in our case (mine works 15 hours a week for £12/hour for us; and another family in a similar way).

I am regularly up to a week late in paying and she would never dig around in my wallet for the cash. Largely because she would never ever be so intrusive, but also because she respects that I put myself out enormously each month to pay her a wad of cash.

If you have only been late twice in a year, then you are doing just fine.

[bbcessex]

ilovehedgehogs - completely agree. Cleaning is certainly not a drudge job.

[SassyPants19]

Blimey, there's a lot of strong felt opinions here. I think you have to put your overall 2year working relationship into the equation. And ask yourself a few questions... Has she been reliable, thorough and trustworthy over the past two years? Fundamentally, do you trust her? Do you believe she may have NEEDED this money so desperately this felt like her only option? If you answer 'yes' to all 3, then I would encourage you to contact her, apologise for forgetting to leave the money out and say that if it were to happen again (which you truly hope it doesn't), then please could she call you before helping herself. If you do wish to keep her on as your cleaner, then you need to handle this with some level of mutual respect and sensitivity. If you can't get passed it, then give her notice and get hunting for a replacement!

[mayathebee]

Could you leave some money in a tin in the kitchen somewhere so if you forget to leave her money out she knows she can take it from the tin. I am fairly forgetful so I would've use this as a back up plan in case I ever forgot to leave wages out. That way she knows she can get her wages without going through your bag.

[dustarr73]

I'm glad you got it sorted.But I would be worried about bounderies. She didn't realise it wasn't the done thing to help yourself to somebody's bag.Until it was pointed out,that's just weird

I thought it was an unwritten rule regarding handbags.

[AquaAqua]

Thanks sassy - see a few posts up!!! Pretty much exactly what happened!

[WouldHave]

The cleaner would have got her money in the evening

How would that help if she needed the money before the evening?

[Cherrysoup]

Even my DH won't go into my purse without asking. He says it's wrong (police) and the cleaner should have phoned to ask for the money.

I know this is now resolved, but I can't understand the people saying the OP should have left the money out, it's fair enough for the cleaner to go into her bag, find her purse and remove money. It really isn't.

[SoftSheen]

Totally unacceptable and I am amazed that anyone could think otherwise.

Of course the cleaner must be paid, promptly, for her work, but the sensible thing for her to have done was to phone you. You could have then arranged to drop of the money later in the day, or if the cleaner wasn't happy with this, she could have left without cleaning.

Under no circumstances is it OK to take money from someone's purse without their permission.