Cleaner went through my purse and took money

[AquaAqua]

So to cut a long story short she didn't really steal from us but I still feel really uncomfortable about this. Cleaner comes on a friday morning and I normally leave her money on the table. On the one occasion I forgot in the past I took it round to her that evening. Today I forgot to leave it out when I had to go out for a meeting. I left my bag (by accident!) in my bedroom. When I got back there was a note on the table saying I hadn't left her money out but it was ok as she had taken the payment from my purse and hoped I didn't mind. Now firstly I am in the wrong because I should have left the money out but I feel really uncomfortable that she helped herself, and secondly we have the agreement that she doesn't do upstairs - so I wonder what she was doing even going through my bedroom. She has cleaned for us for quite a while and we have a really good relationship so I don't want to blow this out of proportion but I am not sure how to respond to this.... am I being silly that this is making me worry about trusting her or do I just leave it?

Anyone else getting this pop up due to the thread?

glad you sorted it op,both were in the wrong, you forgot to pay her,she snooped and took out of your purse, in her defense she did write you a note

maybe she needed money desperately for something

glad you texted her and she was also right to say she shouldnt have gone in your purse

waves to lhreturns, you def need the help at the mo :)

Id sack her. But you absolutely should not have "forgotten" to pay her. You mentioned you've done this in the past too - how do you know she isn't relying on receiving money as soon as she completes work or needs it for fare home? Its sharp practice on your part and very strange that you can go out without your handbag AND your purse. You couldn't have gone far then - so you could have turned around got your bag and sorted her money or perhaps you chose to stay out. Without your purse. You clearly didn't forget cleaner was coming tho

Her wrong is very wrong - yours is simply a different type of wrong. If you can't afford to pay a cleaner in keeping with arrangement then don't have one. The DD is a red herring if your agreement was cash and she prefers that then its up to her.

In the same way she can never justify going into your bag, you cannot justify non-payment of someone who is physically present in your home doing work

It's not a red herring. If what is important to her is being paid exactly on time (which I understand) then surely a standing order is the best way to ensure this.

I'm a cleaner and get paid by so nice but I used to have one job where the lady would regularly forget to leave the money and then I'd have to wait for the following week which was annoying , but there's no way I would ever go near her bag or purse or go upstairs if I wasn't cleaning up there so personally id let her go

Sack her. The fact that she went though your bag is a huge red flag- whether she told you or not. Doesn't matter if she has worked for you for a long time. A cleaner is easy to replace, trust is not.

Glad it's sorted. The time I forgot to leave money cleaner called so I could tell her where I had 'hidden' some ( in a jar in fairly plain view). Due to the jobs she does she would have known it was there but appreciated her calling first.

This thread is so funny!

So many assumptions. My assumption would be that the OP knows the cleaner and her situation better than randomers.

My mum was a cleaner for years. We were very poor. We wouldn't have died if my mum had to wait a few hours for the money. Especially from a clearly reliable employer who was guaranteed to pay.

Definitely get rid. It's an employer/employee relationship - however well you get on. Yes, you were in wrong for not leaving money out but she can't just help herself in that way. Chances are it'll happen again, maybe worst next time ("I took next week's money early - knew you wouldn't mind"). I've found people only generally get bolder. I knew my cleaner was bringing her kid round when she wasn't supposed to once - I let it slide and her kid eventually ended up scribbling permanent marker all over the dinner table.
Never again, cleaners ten a penny - sure you won't regret giving someone else who wouldn't dream of going in your purse a go.

I do a couple of cleaning jobs as it's a nice way to earn a little money without doing lots of hours. I wouldn't dream of looking for or taking cash that wasn't mine. I wouldn't even ask for my money if they were at home and forgotten to give me it. I had one of my ladies not pay, she messaged me later that day to say sorry. I said not to worry till next week.
I'm not sure you should sack her though. If you've had her for 2 years she must be trust worthy, surely? She obviously thought it was ok to do. You should tell her she over stepped the mark.

I have not read the whole post here, but some of the replies are pretty shocking ( in a funny way)

I am a domestic cleaner, if I should find that the person whom I clean for, has not left payment for my services I would not go looking for the money in bedrooms or handbags and purses, I would simply leave a note to say that they forgot to leave payment and I would collect next time!! The silly cleaner in op should not have helped herself and in fairness does sound dodgy as to how she "found" your bag in your bedroom, unless they were snooping!! I would look for another cleaner if I were you!

Get off your high horse!

I don't understand the people making a huge deal out of it being the SECOND time the OP has forgotten to leave the money. The first time, she made sure that she got the cash to the cleaner the same day. So in fact the OP has a 100% record for paying the cleaner on the day the work is done, meaning the cleaner was even less justified in helping herself, because she should have known that if she called the OP, it would be sorted out.
Imo, going into someone else's bag without their express permission is completely unacceptable. If my partner or a friend asked for something that was in my bag, and they were closer to it than me, I'd probably say "it's in my bag, have a look for it". But I'd still be really pissed off if next time they just went for it without my say-so.

Sorry-sent to wrong person!!

Umm

How did she know you hadn't taken your bag? So she was up,stairs on a unrelated reason and happened across your bag, then helped herself to your purse?

So first she's snooping around, oh and wonders of wonders there's her bag I'll take my wages.

Really tricky one - I would loathe the thought of someone going through my purse - on the other hand you say this is " only the second time " you've forgotten to pay her. I'm wondering how often in the same time frame you have forgotten to pay for petrol , goods in a shop or meals in a restaurant? Its really no different at all , yet it seems like you think it is. She has a right to be furious in my opinion, but still no right to go through your stuff. Seems like a fresh start with some mutual respect ( and a direct debit so you can meet your full and legal obligations as an employer this time round) might be the best way forward?

Perhaps she didn't phone because she knew you were with a client and didn't want to make you look disorganised.

I thought that cleaners were self employed? I agree that standing order is best, paid a month in arrears as invoices are or employed people.

You should have left the money, but you didn't - surely with 2016's technology a text or phone call, or pop back in the evening/ next day to collect cash wouldn't have been that big an issue?

But going through your purse is unforgivable, I'd definitely sack immediately. Even if you'd left a million pound in cash on the side, if it wasn't addressed to me it wouldn't be touched.

It's really not ok to go through someone's purse that awful. It's been stated a few times on here that cleaner wants to be paid cash only, no direct debits to bank account (of course I'm sure this has nothing to do with undeclared income) however if cleaner has refused a reliable method of payment she must understand that people are human and will sometimes forget. I'm always amazed at the amount of really nasty replies on here, a bit depressing considering most of you are raising the next generation. God help us

Have you thought about setting up a direct debit? 😉 😂

Glad you got it sorted OP but YANBU to question her behaviour. My DH would never go through my purse and I would never go through his wallet. I've taken money out of his wallet after asking him first. She's lucky she's still got a job and maybe direct debit is the way to go, my window cleaner asks to get paid by direct debit.

I'm surprised anyone here thinks it's ok for someone to go through your purse to take money when you forgot to pay. Even if you had money on the mantle piece she shouldn't have taken it if you hadn't expressly said it was hers, never mind going to look in your bag!
If I quite liked the cleaner, I wouldn't sack her but would definitely have a word with her about it, on Second thoughts , I just might sack somebody who thinks it's appropriate to do what she did as having a word with her might just make things awkward going forward.
On a separate note, funny how the cleaners on here have said they would never go through their employers belongings, I think those who think it's ok are a bit spiteful the op can afford a cleaner.

funkky - I could easily afford a cleaner - what a pathetic statement

Bourdic - clueless as to who you are?