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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not work for free?!

243 replies

PinkyPie80 · 17/11/2016 09:12

Fucking awkward situation I've got myself in. I've name changed as fear this might out me.

I do cakes on the side, not professionally but if it's anyone's birthday etc I will be the one that makes the cakes and I charge for my time to make the cake but not at a professional rate.

We have a family friend that we have known for years. She owns a restaurant and struggled when she first started out so all of our family supported her and brought custom to her restaurant in the form of friends and we recommended her on Facebook etc. She is now successful and doing well.

She asked my mother if she knew anyone that would make her sisters wedding cake. My mum suggested me, the family friend said "money no object" She is foreign and sometimes the language is a barrier so I'm wondering whether my mother misheard her.

Last night my mother and I went to the restaurant to talk about what she wanted. She had cooked us a meal for free so we could sit down and discuss it. Quite an elaborate 2 tier cake with 80 cupcakes. I took the details and at the end she said "don't charge me for the labour, just charge me for the ingredients" I laughed thinking it was a joke but her face was deadpan and she said "I will take you out for a meal afterwards to say Thankyou"

Now because I had just eaten a 3 course meal for free and she is a family friend, I didn't say anything at the time. Came back home and my DH has gone off his tits, saying I can't do all those hours of work for free/a meal.

The wedding is 17th December so she hasn't given me a lot of notice

I have no bloody idea what to do now, what to say!!! Help mumsnet!!

OP posts:
WhatchaMaCalllit · 19/11/2016 13:32

Has she been in touch yet? I'd imagine that a weekend without baking (or at least preparing) would be a weekend lost in her eyes.

QuinionsRainbow · 19/11/2016 14:10

NO-ONE tells the taxman the money they make on the side.... why would you?
Because if all those "on the side" workers declared their "on the side" income for tax purposes, there might be more money available for the NHS, the benefits system etc.

expatinscotland · 19/11/2016 14:15

FFS, someone always has to come along and merail threads.

FairNotFair · 19/11/2016 15:09

FFS, someone always has to come along and merail threads

Expat, that's the best typo/autocorrect ever - unless it was intentional?

To merail
Verb
to jump onto a thread about one subject and digress onto another that is only tangentially related to the first, but that you find more interesting than the original

00100001 · 19/11/2016 15:22

Oh yes I'm sure you declare every single penny and item of value you receive... quinions

00100001 · 19/11/2016 15:35

shining if he can see my facebook, then I'll be impressed!

Archedbrowse · 20/11/2016 09:58

Any update op?

The thread has definitely been 'merailed'. Maybe she's not updated because she's off getting her hygiene certificate?

LilyGobshite · 20/11/2016 19:27

She's being a cheeky cow. But if you're not a registered business you can only accept reimbursement for materials. I'm not sure it's not lawful for you to accept payment otherwise, as it's ultimately undeclared income. Maybe she knows this?

LilyGobshite · 20/11/2016 19:30

Sorry, realised after posting that this has already been said.

Cherrysoup · 20/11/2016 20:33

buying ingredients for the purpose of selling them at a profit in the form of a cake would probably count as trading in the eyes of HMRC

Jesus, someone better warn the WI!

LilyGobshite · 20/11/2016 21:15

"buying ingredients for the purpose of selling them at a profit in the form of a cake would probably count as trading in the eyes of HMRC

Jesus, someone better warn the WI!"

The WI is a charity so that's different in the eyes of HMRC.

Honestly, as a creative who suffers daily in my work because of attitudes like this, I can only say that this post comes across to me like -
'I take the piss a lot, now someone is trying to take the piss out of me. AIBU?'

It's harsh. I make no apology. What if we all behaved like this?

Shiningexample · 20/11/2016 21:20

I'm not judging, thats just my understanding of how HMRC view things...presume the WI have the relevant food hygiene things all in place?

I couldnt give a stuff about people making cakes, I make cakes for me to eat and so I'm quite happy with my cake arrangements as well as the legality thereof :o

Shiningexample · 20/11/2016 21:23

I'm not sure it's not lawful for you to accept payment otherwise, as it's ultimately undeclared income
there is a threshold over which it is considered to be 'trading', I think frequency may come into it, possibly also turnover?

again, not judging just sayin'....

GrabbyGrabby · 20/11/2016 21:49

To be honest with the way she's approached you I'd give her a flat no on the basis that I think she'd be a pain in the arse

Agree with this. She has already made it clear she is a pain in the arse, she isn't going to suddenly change into Mrs Reasonable the closer she gets to the wedding.

Lunde · 21/11/2016 23:10

Any resolution to this issue?

aurynne · 21/11/2016 23:40

"Dear X, after making some calculations, the cost of making the cake and cupcakes for Y's wedding will be $$$$. Please deposit this money in my bank account (number provided) before this date as a confirmation that you want to go ahead."

That's all the message you need. No explanations. If the money is not there by the date you choose, there will be no cakes. Simple.

ScrumpyBetty · 22/11/2016 07:27

Good idea Aurynne
Any reply yet OP?

Flatbellyfella · 22/11/2016 09:16

0nly family should get your time for free, but only a few hours.

Flatbellyfella · 22/11/2016 16:22

£150 is very reasonable , considering the work & time involved.

Original poster
PinkyPie80 · 22/11/2016 16:48

Thanks for all those that have asked after me and not derailed the thread Wink

I decided not to do the cake full stop simply because it was too much hassle and she would have undoubtedly picked my work apart. She has now decided to buy the cake from Waitrose which has cost her considerably more than the £150 that I was charging!

P.S - I Do hold a hygiene certificate. I also checked as to whether the information provided by some of the posters is correct and this is what I was quoted:

"In the same way as selling your wares can gradually become a small business, so can maximising the money you can make from your personal skills. For example, if you’re a keen gardener and occasionally offer to help out friends and neighbours with their landscape design for a small fee, then any earnings are, in theory, taxable. However, these are usually ignored on the basis that they fall within your personal allowance.

However, when you start helping people on a regular basis whilst amassing a good profit, your hobby has really developed into a small business and any profits that exceed your personal allowance are taxable. As before, when a hobby becomes a business, you must declare it to the taxman within three months"

As I only make approx 3 cakes per year and make approx £50 on each cake the profit is small. So thanks to all those that were so concerned that I was affecting The NHS by not declaring and paying tax on my £150 profit per year Grin

OP posts:
ShowMePotatoSalad · 22/11/2016 16:53

She is being unreasonable. A free meal in her restaurant doesn't equate to the cost of a 2-tier wedding cake and 80 cupcakes...not by a country mile. And she knows this.

Work out how long it's going to take you, how much the ingredients will cost you, what the final product will be like, and price it accordingly. Let her know how much you will charge, and if she wants to go elsewhere she will do.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 22/11/2016 16:54

Just seen your post. OMG, I have to go back and re-read the whole thread. I want to find those "affecting the NHS" posts Biscuit

Ahickiefromkinickie · 22/11/2016 16:56

Yes but what did she SAY, Op? Smile

(Also I love how someone upthread refers to themselves as a Cake Person rather than a baker).

Graphista · 22/11/2016 16:59

And I'll bet the waitrose cake isn't a patch on what you would have made op. Definitely a case of her cutting her nose off to spite her face.

I'll admit I'm curious as to what exactly transpired and if she'd already pissed off someone else.

OohNoDooEy · 22/11/2016 16:59

If you're going to the wedding consider it your gift