AIBU to not work for free?!

[PinkyPie80]

Fucking awkward situation I've got myself in. I've name changed as fear this might out me.

I do cakes on the side, not professionally but if it's anyone's birthday etc I will be the one that makes the cakes and I charge for my time to make the cake but not at a professional rate.

We have a family friend that we have known for years. She owns a restaurant and struggled when she first started out so all of our family supported her and brought custom to her restaurant in the form of friends and we recommended her on Facebook etc. She is now successful and doing well.

She asked my mother if she knew anyone that would make her sisters wedding cake. My mum suggested me, the family friend said "money no object" She is foreign and sometimes the language is a barrier so I'm wondering whether my mother misheard her.

Last night my mother and I went to the restaurant to talk about what she wanted. She had cooked us a meal for free so we could sit down and discuss it. Quite an elaborate 2 tier cake with 80 cupcakes. I took the details and at the end she said "don't charge me for the labour, just charge me for the ingredients" I laughed thinking it was a joke but her face was deadpan and she said "I will take you out for a meal afterwards to say Thankyou"

Now because I had just eaten a 3 course meal for free and she is a family friend, I didn't say anything at the time. Came back home and my DH has gone off his tits, saying I can't do all those hours of work for free/a meal.

The wedding is 17th December so she hasn't given me a lot of notice

I have no bloody idea what to do now, what to say!!! Help mumsnet!!

Yeah, I'd say NO entirely and tell my folks not to volunteer me again. Fuck using it as a gift, blah blah blah. It's a shit load of money for a gift for someone who's not even close to you. fuck that.

Say no and tells your folks not to volunteer your services.

How dare she dictate the terms?! Who on earth does she think she is?!

No matter what you offer her, she won't pay it.

Walk away now.

I think your parents haven't been very helpful here. Volunteering you for this work for cheap just before Christmas.

Get your dad to do it since its so easy.

" I wonder why, as someone in the trade, she doesn't have professional contacts to use at mates rates rather than a friend of a friend scenario - maybe everyone else knows what she's like."

Yea I think she's already pissed off at least one baker! Else why looking for a baker at such short notice at a high demand time of year?

Any reply?

Just say that you've checked and with your existing commitments, you won't be able to do it. No discussion.

She will be a nightmare to deal with even if you manage to get the cash out of her. Just don't.

I would say a full price order has come in and you can't afford to turn it down

Then I would become a regular customer at her restaurant, now that you know you are practically besties so only have to pay ingredient costs

Well I Facebook messaged her and she's read it but not replied!

She doesn't want to pay, Pinky, and she won't. She'll find a way to weasel out of it, even the ingredients. She'll come back and refute the cost. Why? Because she is a serious pisstaker. ANYONE who dictates what they'll pay for such a service is a pisstaker.

YANBU- follow up with call, clearly outlining that you cannot do this for free due to the amount of time taken and you have a business to run.
You don't expect a wedding cake in exchange for a meal. I also think you're underselling yourself in terms of cost. Cakes like this can be £250+.
Your dad is being unfair her and I wouldn't include running details through your mum in future.

You have to be assertive, no, you are not able to do it, I would say it's beyond your skills as you are not a professional cake maker and the time frame is too short. Dies she realise your not a professional cake baker! Mabey somewhere along the line somebody has said you are.

OP just tell her straight it's £150 or nothing and my bet is that the pisstaking cow might go for the nothing option in which good luck trying to find another cake business willing to do that many cakes with such short notice in the run up to Christmas she will find it extremely difficult and will also find that they charge a lot more than you do and would laugh in her face if she even tried to offer a free meal instead of paying for the cakes.

I agree with others - I wouldn't do this even if she agreed to the £150. Even if she agreed and paid me up front. She will moan, she will complain - this type always do.

I would not even do this job, just say no. It is not within your skills set, and you don't know why your parents suggested it. That they will reimburse you for the meal.

You just now she is going to be trouble.Alarm bells rang when she wanted such a big order so close to Christmas.Just ring her and tell her you cant do it.She can always say she never got the text.

Don't know why, but im half expecting this thread to turn up in the Daily Fail, or The Wright Show... .

I'd be planning to come down with Norovirus when the cakes need baking, just in case

What did you say?

If she has to pay you, she will expect a professional cake and will be the most awkward customer, who will not be happy whatever you do.

She should jump at the chance for £150!!! Cheeky mare.

Stick to your guns Pinky - £150 for a two tier cake and 80 cupcakes is an absolute bargain.

tell her to make the basic cupcakes and the cake and you will do the decorating as you and your parent's wedding present to her sister. That way you avoid the grunt work part of it

To be fair, IMO, baking the actual cakes is the relatively quick and easy part. Decoration (depending on how complex it is) can take hours of work.

If she does reply to say she wants you to make the cake for the price you stated I would follow up with an e-mail setting out exactly what will be included for that price (you can say at the start that it's to check you've understood correctly etc if you don't want it to come across as overly formal). I'd include details of specifically what type of cake, what decoration (including the type of icing etc and the design). Otherwise I fear she may well be one of those that comes back to you (possibly multiple times) with changes to the number, design etc that would mean ingredients cost more and it takes more time. If you've got it all in writing (make sure you keep a copy) she's nowhere to go if you say you can't do it or that it will cost more if she changes her mind. I'm speaking from experience a bit as my DH once agreed to do some work for an acquaintance's wedding that she expected to be for free, they eventually agreed on a very very low price but she then seemed to think that as she was paying she could expect him to do whatever she asked- what should have been about an hour's worked ended up being a full day and night.

I'm glad you've messaged her, fingers crossed. If she does go ahead and pay you fairly, make sure you drop in to your next message 'they'll be ready for you to collect from mine at [this time] on [this day].
As if you're doing 3 trips to courier her cakes for her!