Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

to think the current trend of hen and stag dos is ridiculous?

114 replies

FRETGNIKCUF · 16/11/2016 10:42

Seriously.

Hen dos in Spain for a week?

Stags away to somewhere in Europe or Las Vegas for a weekend?

What happened to gathering with friends and getting drunk the weekend before you get married?

Why does this generation of narcissists, who cannot afford mortgages, think their guests should spend a fortune of forced fun for a weekend, abroad?

I hate this trend.

OP posts:

Original poster

FRETGNIKCUF · 16/11/2016 10:43

Clearly not all are narcissists.

OP posts:

FlyingElbows · 16/11/2016 10:47

I was just thinking yesterday about the possible correlation between not being able to afford housing and the amount of money spent on weddings and the seemingly endless batshittery that goes with them.

LittleSausageFingers · 16/11/2016 10:48

YANBU re ridiculously expensive hen and stag dos... have you been invited to such a do?

RedBullBlood · 16/11/2016 10:48

My niece had three hens - one for family, one abroad for friends and another party for family and friends who couldn't make the first two. Madness.

atticusclaw2 · 16/11/2016 10:49

It is crazy. But a lot of what people consider to be normal is crazy. Like posting on Facebook to let people know every time you go to make a cup of tea..

ToastDemon · 16/11/2016 10:50

Honestly I'm surprised this still goes on given the economic climate. It's madness. Everyone seems to think they are in their own reality tv show now.

formerbabe · 16/11/2016 10:59

I'm with you op...last one cost me best part of £500...I do believe it's this self obsessed narcissistic culture we live in, where everyone believes they're the centre of the fucking universe.

Butterymuffin · 16/11/2016 11:00

YANBU, it's gone insane. And it causes so much strife, as shown byall the wedding related threads.

user1470835720 · 16/11/2016 11:01

I agree just been on one, hated every moment and it cost me well over £300. Im pregnant and couldn't do anything they planned and was basically dumped and made to pay for activities, food and alcohol I couldn't join in with. Never again

BusterTheBulldog · 16/11/2016 11:01

How do you know the people having the 'dos' can't afford their mortgage?

Inthenick · 16/11/2016 11:02

I love an invite to a hen do. I go if I want and don't if I don't want. Particularly love hens abroad with small groups. It's basically girls having a holiday and a laugh together.

It's only a problem if you are not assertive enough to say no when you don't want to go or if you have asshole friends who make you feel bad for not going. Neither of which is a problem for me. So hopefully I still get invited to a few more big girls nights out or holidays (disguised as a hen).

44PumpLane · 16/11/2016 11:04

I'm not sure this is really a thing for the masses.

I think some people do it and it's utterly ridiculous and it's what everyone remembers so suddenly that's the memory we have of all hen and stag do's these days.

My hen last year was a £10 a head afternoon tea at a local farm cafe place- was fab! Went to pub afterward.

Friends of mine have ranged from several hundred pounds for a weekend away, to a meal out in local town and drinks.

But, as with the wedding, an invite is not a summons so for those who can't afford it or don't fancy it then just don't go.

But YANBU to hate the trend towards excessive spend!

tighterthanscrooge · 16/11/2016 11:05

My SIL had an absolutely ridiculous hen do.
Dance class in fancy dress, meal in London then a 'party bus' taking us to various clubs. Bloody awful and cost each guess £100 plus the meal! The meal was fine-the rest ridiculous

pasdutout · 16/11/2016 11:16

YANBU

Famalam13 · 16/11/2016 11:17

If you don't like it don't go...

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 16/11/2016 11:19

My hen do was a meal, in a pub, the night before the wedding (when all the people I wanted along were going to be there or nearby, so it was easy to organise). It didn't cost a fortune or last days, but it was perfect, in my eyes. I got to spend time with people who mattered to me.

I think the trend of horrendously expensive hen and stag dos - sometimes more than one for the same wedding - plus weddings which can be expensive too, requiring lots of travel and hotel accomodation - is ridiculous.

I think it is the last word in self-centredness to expect your friends and family to spend a fortune, and use their precious holiday days, to go on your hen do or stag do! I've seen stories on here where the cost of going to the stag or hen do, plus attending the wedding, and the days off needed, would mean that a family couldn't afford a holiday that year! That is completely unreasonable.

In contrast, a friend recently went to her friend's dd's hen do. It was day out, including a chocolate making workshop, and then a meal - everyone had a wonderful time and it didn't cost the earth.

peachesandcreamdream · 16/11/2016 11:21

I've found my people!!!!!!!

I had my hen do (a night out) in the closest city to the town I live in - 5 miles away

Who can be fucked with the massive palava?

onelastpigout · 16/11/2016 11:21

I do believe it's this self obsessed narcissistic culture we live in, where everyone believes they're the centre of the fucking universe.

This. With bells on.

squoosh · 16/11/2016 11:21

If you hate it don't go.

WorraLiberty · 16/11/2016 11:22

I certainly wouldn't go on one

But I don't agree that it's a 'current trend'.

It's been going on for years and years now.

squoosh · 16/11/2016 11:22

This is one of the most commonly occurring AIBUs. Right up there with shoes on/shoes off.

Wookiecookies · 16/11/2016 11:23

YANBU, its getting out of control, and very awkward to say no to someone who clearly wants you there without dissapointing them.

Whats wrong with a night out locally? Why so much expense for everyone? I know friends who have been made absolutely skint because of the sheer number of expensive abroad/lengthy hen do's they felt they must attend. Its not very easy to say no if its a good friend/family member.

Helbelle75 · 16/11/2016 11:23

YANBU, it really winds me up.
My hen-do consisted of a picnic in my sister's garden with party games, we then had a burlesque lesson in the village hall for those who wanted to join in (£10 each) which was huge amounts of fun, then we went for cocktail making and pizza (£25 each) locally. It was brilliant. I had an amazing time and people were relaxed and happy as they could opt in and out of whatever they wanted.
I begrudge having to pay a fortune for them, and I certainly wouldn't go abroad.

onelastpigout · 16/11/2016 11:23

The last one I got invited to involved a Spa weekend.
My idea of hell. What's the bloody obsession with Spas on Hen Dos?

Maz2444466 · 16/11/2016 11:24

Totally agree.

Not a hen do but we are going to a wedding in a couple of weeks and they have invited about a 1000 people. I'm feeling nervous just attending! There have a programme of events that start at 1 and go on till the night. It sounds exhausting tbh. Luckily, my best friend and fiance will be there so at least I'll know two people out of the 1000!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread