Family gathering, niece doesn't like dogs.

[talksensetome]

We are having a family gathering tomorrow to mark 20 years since our mum died, therefore my brothers and sisters will all be there, along with partners and children.

My sister (sister2) is hosting, she is ok with dogs although doesn't own one anymore. I have a dog which I would like to take, he is a good dog and doesn't jump up or run around barking.

Our other sister (sister 1) has said she would rather I don't take the dog as my niece is scared of them.

I would usually get our younger sister (sister 3) to dog sit but given the occasion she will obviously be there too.

Would I be unreasonable to push it a little and ask could I take the dog and leave him in the kitchen? the children will probably be playing upstairs most of the evening and the smokers of the group tend to congregate in the kitchen so its easier to get to the back door.

I don't really want to leave Dog on his own all evening because he will cry, he doesn't get left alone for long periods usually.

So WIBU to make this suggestion and potentially put DSis 1 in a position she would rather not be or am I being one of THOSE dog owners?

Hope he doesn't go off-lead in public places until he's had the chop.

Whoever you got him from was bloody irresponsible in not having him neutered.

Oh right, we've never had dogs on the beds because of how attached they get to sleeping with you all the time and they don't learn the be alone very well IME.

Its important you start teaching him to be alone ASAP as the longer you leave it, the worse it will get.

Does he have a bed in a corner or nook he can go to to be left alone? If there are now children in your house this is very important for him if he gets sick of being petted or annoyed by a kid he has somewhere to go to escape where the kids know not to touch him or talk to him there.

An evening isn't "an extended period"

Of course not Minefields, I wouldn't want to have an unplanned pregnancy, the person we got him from didn't have him microchipped or vaccinated either but I have dealt with those.

User, that is what I was advised on a previous thread, that having him on the bed is making him more anxious of being alone, I have tackled that, now working on the leaving alone thing.

I am a dog person and always owned one but yours (while I'm sure is lovely) does look terrifying on first seeing him.

I think your sister was probably assuming her daughter wouldn't be terrified of a puppy.

I dont generally go to social does and I did say that usually my sister or brother would dog sit if necessary. It is only the nature of the occasion that means we will all be together.

Have you found someone to sit him yet? I would recommend not taking him anywhere and have them come to your house if that is at all possible, if he gets anxious this would help him to keep calmer while you're away x

My DD was terrifed of dogs. She is much better now but a couple of years ago she would have been extremley anxious at being in the same building as a dog. I think on this occasion you need to leave the dog elsewhere

How long have you had the dog, OP? I'm beginning to think it's not very long and that the rest of your family (ie neither sister) has met the dog.

OP: AIBU?

MN: Yes.

OP: Fair enough. I will change my plans.

MN: YABU YABU YABU and insensitive and entitled and you spoil your dog.

OP:

Bloody hell. I despair of this place sometimes.

intravenouscoffee

Quite.

intravenouscoffee. I agree - and I hate dogs!! I don't see why the OP is getting a hard time. She's raised the question here before doing so in real life...and has very graciously accepted the consensus.

We don't get together often, last time was in january when d bro had a housewarming. I will be spending Christmas at home, as always.

Two of three sisters and my brother have met the dog several times as has my sisters son the one who wanted a puppy.

I have owned the dog myself since September but the dog previously belonged to my ex and spent a lot of time in my home because my ex stayed over often when we were a couple.

OP, your dog looks gorgeous and I say that as a dog lover but not an owner. I agree you shouldn't take him to a large family gathering though especially if your niece is nervous around dogs. He probably would not like it anyway with all those people

I hope you sort out the dog being upset at being left though as presumably your sister will eventually move out.

Natalia and other pps:

You are not doing your children any favours by passing on your dislike and fear of dogs. Please, at the very least teach your children how to behave appropriately when dogs approach. This could one day save your child's life.

Thank you to the posters who are being reasonable and those that have been helpful even though I was unreasonable. It seems there are a few that are hell bent on me being some irresponsible dog abusing bitch which has surprised me. I am no expert but I am doing my best for dog and asking for help when I need it.

This could one day save your child's life.

In that situation, because an irresponsible dog owner had put it at risk....

I have taught them what to do if a dog approaches. That doesn't mean I don't think it's totally irresponsible of whoever's dog it is to have allowed that to happen. Nor does it mean any of us have to like dogs. Totally different points.

If I was one of the people that made you feel this way I feel like I should tell you that this really wasn't my intention.

The fact that you love your dog and try to do what's best for him is imo very obvious. Good luck.

He's a big beastie and actually pretty cute :) (which I admittedly only realised when I looked at the photos a 2nd time and got over the: "he's so big"-factor).

Thank you Navy I really do appreciate your support on this thread, I am astonished at the dog hate too (or owner hate).

Anyway I have had lots of good advice and lots of compliments on my lovely cute dog so it hasn't all been bad.

He genuinely doesn't seem so big in real life but he comes across huge in photos! Maybe we are just used to him.

The hatred for dogs on MN is something I have never seen anywhere else in my life.

But Navy - why would you see it? You're quite obviously a caring and responsible dog owner. You wouldn't let your dog run up to a child and jump up at him or her. You wouldn't let your dog behave in a way that upset someone else. You wouldn't let your dog crap all over the place and not clear it up. If someone asked you not to bring your dog to their house, you wouldn't do it. So nobody would feel hatred towards you and/or your dog.