Family gathering, niece doesn't like dogs.

[talksensetome]

We are having a family gathering tomorrow to mark 20 years since our mum died, therefore my brothers and sisters will all be there, along with partners and children.

My sister (sister2) is hosting, she is ok with dogs although doesn't own one anymore. I have a dog which I would like to take, he is a good dog and doesn't jump up or run around barking.

Our other sister (sister 1) has said she would rather I don't take the dog as my niece is scared of them.

I would usually get our younger sister (sister 3) to dog sit but given the occasion she will obviously be there too.

Would I be unreasonable to push it a little and ask could I take the dog and leave him in the kitchen? the children will probably be playing upstairs most of the evening and the smokers of the group tend to congregate in the kitchen so its easier to get to the back door.

I don't really want to leave Dog on his own all evening because he will cry, he doesn't get left alone for long periods usually.

So WIBU to make this suggestion and potentially put DSis 1 in a position she would rather not be or am I being one of THOSE dog owners?

[myfavouritecolourispurple]

Borrowing this fro another thead:

[EssentialHummus]

See if you can find a baby-sitter or dog-sitter.

I wouldn't take the dog. I love dogs and find it hard to understand why anyone wouldn't but, well, some people are, and fear of dogs can manifest hugely. Dog may also get excited by the huge number of people and strange environment.

[myfavouritecolourispurple]

Borrowing this from another thread:

Dog owners never seem to understand that a lot of people really don't like or want to be anywhere near dogs. Being forced to share what should be a dog-free zone with dogs is quite simply not on

I would not want dogs in my home, especially if I had a child who was scared of them.

[PilkoPumpPants]

Sorry I'd say leave your dog at home and I love dogs. Take him for a long walk before you leave and get him a large dog bone to keep him occupied.
You could always leave him at a dog sitters, have a look online. my parents did this reccently with their dogs when they went on holiday, the dogs were treated like royalty and were looked really happy when they got picked up again.

[PilkoPumpPants]

Not sure where the were came from in my post

[OffBeatOyster]

Just like children at a wedding...

If the dog isn't invited by name, you must leave him at home!

[Olympiathequeen]

As its only an evening I would leave the dog home. I think it's right to respect the fact that some children are anxious around dogs and children are actually more important than dogs (at least to most people)

[Ilovenannyplum]

Sorry as someone who was previously terrified as dogs, I think you should try and find someone to watch the dog.

My family used to shut their dogs away but I couldn't relax for worrying that somebody would accidentally let it out.
If she was coming to your house is obviously different but as I said, try and leave dog behind as you would be taking it with you.

I'm now not scared of dogs, we got a puppy and then boom, the fear went. It's made my life so much better

[Blue2014]

Look I adore dogs, I do but it seems a but contradictory to say niece is mollycoddled and then say your dog can't be left alone for a few hours of an evening? It's seems dog may be a little mollycoddled too

[MadHattersWineParty]

itsme sorry for the misunderstanding! I wholeheartedly agree that life with a dog gets so much easier when they can be left for a bit by themselves!

[CotswoldStrife]

Blue has beaten me to it - so the dog can't be left but the niece can be scared instead?

[talksensetome]

he was ok initially but circumstances changed so that someone was home constantly for a few weeks and now he is so used to it that he cries when alone. It is something I am tackling but it is slow progress.

I will make other arrangements just wanted to see if I was reasonable to suggest it. I take on board that I am and will do something else.

[Hellochicken]

No I'd say it definitely is not the time or place to bring a dog when 1 person asked you not to, and another doesnt like dogs.

You are being one of THOSE dog owners.

FWIW I like dogs, I used to have one but we are to busy to own one now.

[User1234567891011]

YABU - Do not take the dog.

I don't know why everyone seems to think its okay to take their dog to other peoples houses for big group activities.

Are you going to be with the dog all night? Can you 100% guarantee it won't get out of the kitchen? Or that the children won't need to go in there? Or that you will be in control of it the whole time?

We had a family member who used to bring her dog to things because it was 'well behaved, safe and wouldn't harm a fly' and to be fair it was. Until it bit a cousin on the face because the dog was left unattended and the child went into the kitchen it was being kept in to get a drink.

If you know you can't be in control of that dog and keep your eye on it the whole time you shouldn't be taking it anywhere (parks etc included).

Also calling your DN 'mollycoddled' sounds like you're trying to make excuses for her being dog-phobic like she is in the wrong. I have dogs and have never taken them to anyone elses home - if I have to go out I leave them for a few hours as they've been trained to be left or I get a sitter if its a longer time.

[Blossomdeary]

Why on earth would you think of taking a dog when you know that there are people who do not like that. It is not your home.

I am mind-boggled by the sheer arrogance of some dog owners who think that just because they love dogs, then people who don't have some sort of "problem" that they will cure by getting them used to them. Arrogant beyond belief!!!!

Loving dogs is not the norm - it is your opinion. Do not foist this on others. It is entirely acceptable not to like dogs and for children (to whom the dogs are large and scary) to be afraid of them.

Oh, just don't get me going on this - it beggars belief.

Cub your arrogance and have the good manners not to take this darned animal where it is not wanted.

[Drbint]

Would I be unreasonable to push it a little

Yes.

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

Don't bring the dog.

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

Your suggested option of restricting the dog to the kitchen won't work.
You inply that he is a sensitive dog that would be upaet at bbeing left alone at home. Surely he would be very upset at being stuck in a busy kitchen with people he doesn't know coming and going. Also who is going to make sure he doesn't get out every time a smoker opens the back door?

[SpunkyMummy]

'Niece is 8 but the youngest daughter and quite mollycoddled or maybe she's simply genuinely afraid of dogs?
If thats the case then no. You shouldn't bring him.


Btw, there are people that simply don't like dogs in the kitchen, so maybe that's an other reason for your sister being reluctant.


I think it would be better to keep him at home. Get a dog sitter?

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

8 is not an unreasonable age to be dog phobic.
I was quite frightened of dogs until well into my 40's when a change of career meant i had to visit clients in their homes, so I had to come to terms with meeting dogs i couldn't avoid

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es]

I'm glad you've decided to find another way. My DS (12) is scared of dogs and although he will go to the homes of dog owners he gets very jumpy unless he knows the dog very well and is certain it won't jump up at him. I find it a bit odd that you didn't consider checking till yesterday, but at least you did check and didn't just turn up with the dog. Hooe you sort something out.

[Alwayschanging1]

You are absolutely right to put the needs of your dog before the needs of your niece. Who cares if the dog ruins her evening? After all she is 8 and mollycoddled. Ensuring the dog has an enjoyable evening really should be your top priority at an evening organised to pay respects to your mum.

[metaphoricus]

I don't really want to leave Dog on his own all evening because he will cry

Niece is 8 but the youngest daughter and quite mollycoddled

!!