Family gathering, niece doesn't like dogs.

[talksensetome]

We are having a family gathering tomorrow to mark 20 years since our mum died, therefore my brothers and sisters will all be there, along with partners and children.

My sister (sister2) is hosting, she is ok with dogs although doesn't own one anymore. I have a dog which I would like to take, he is a good dog and doesn't jump up or run around barking.

Our other sister (sister 1) has said she would rather I don't take the dog as my niece is scared of them.

I would usually get our younger sister (sister 3) to dog sit but given the occasion she will obviously be there too.

Would I be unreasonable to push it a little and ask could I take the dog and leave him in the kitchen? the children will probably be playing upstairs most of the evening and the smokers of the group tend to congregate in the kitchen so its easier to get to the back door.

I don't really want to leave Dog on his own all evening because he will cry, he doesn't get left alone for long periods usually.

So WIBU to make this suggestion and potentially put DSis 1 in a position she would rather not be or am I being one of THOSE dog owners?

I have taught them what to do if a dog approaches.

Good, because they're gonna be encountering dogs (and some of them will be off the lead!!!!) for the rest of their lives

Yellow If your dog isn't bothering me, I won't be bothering it. Neither will my children. If it is, I'll kick up merry hell. Why should I have to "encounter" dogs off the lead whose owners aren't in control of them? It's a public order offence, apart from anything else!

No I didn't say I was being unreasonable calling dn mollycoddled be a useful she is. Not just in relation to this issue, in general in life she issues mollycoddled. I don't understand why people can't accept that some kids are mollycoddled. My own DS is too some extent mollycoddled too, he is the last baby I was having so I babied him more than the other kids.

...but Navy, will you believe me when I say I've had the opposite experience? I was out with my children the other day and my DD got something in her eye. I was standing trying to help her when a big dog came up and starting sniffing at my other child. She didn't like the dog and my husband tried to get it to move away. Cue stroppy woman complaining that the dog didn't like that and was friendly. As I said to her - a) how am I supposed to know that? and b) her dog shouldn't be so far out of her control that it can approach children,.

In fairness, the following day, a little dog tried to jump up at my daughter. It was on a lead and the owner apologised. We had a pleasant chat and no harm was done. It's a question of assumption and attitude, I think.

I wouldn't bother Natalia Navy on the other thread was saying dogs should be allowed on and near the playground in schools. As well as saying you shouldn't rehome a dog even if you can't walk it at other times of the day Apparently there's no such thing as a misbehaving dog or dogs that aren't liked by people.

Am I the only person that thinks it's unreasonable of sister 1 to dictate whether sister 2 can have a dog in visit her home or not then? Must be.

There is no dog hate, in fact I feel more frustration towards some owners. Especially the ones who can't understand how you don't find dogs adorable.

I don't hate dogs but I'm not overly struck on them either. I think some of them are cute and I can cope with them in small doses. Eg if I go and visit someone who has dogs.

I feel no physical hatred towards dogs but then I don't adore them either. I'm just very... "meh" about them.

If I ever get a dog, the last place I will resort to asking for advice about it will be on MN.

OP: wouldn't have been unreasonable to simply ask... I'd have asked the SIL with the unconfident niece. Hope you work out something you're happy with.

Navy I think, in any context, it's fair that someone should have control of their dog and not allow it to behave in a way that other people object to. Similarly, if my child had been jumping about and upsetting the dog, I'd have said that the dog owner had every right to feel annoyed. If your dog isn't causing annoyance to anyone else, then nobody can (reasonably) object to it or to you. If it is, then they can. My child didn't want to be sniffed. I didn't want a random animal to come up and sniff her. It wasn't under its owner's control. I think I have every right to find that objectionable.

I don't think dogs should be taken into other people's home without an express invite. The faff, smell etc is rude and awful

what I'm saying is you cannot control what a dog out for a walk does

But you think its okay for them to be off lead and approaching children?

Talksense - have you tried using Adaptil to reduce his anxiety when he is left alone? You can get it as a collar, a spray or a plug-in diffuser. I think it comes as tablets too.

He is gorgeous, and if I were near you, I'd happily dog sit for you.

what I'm saying is you cannot control what a dog out for a walk does

But Navy - and I'm honestly not trying to be goady here- if that is true, then that dog is out of control. It should therefore be on a lead where it is under the owner's control. You have every right to be out with your dog...but I have every right not to have my comfort and privacy invaded by your dog.

Navy Then you understand why people don't want dogs approaching them or their children off lead then? Correct?

....but you've just said you can't control what it does. In which case it's not under your control.