Family gathering, niece doesn't like dogs.

[talksensetome]

We are having a family gathering tomorrow to mark 20 years since our mum died, therefore my brothers and sisters will all be there, along with partners and children.

My sister (sister2) is hosting, she is ok with dogs although doesn't own one anymore. I have a dog which I would like to take, he is a good dog and doesn't jump up or run around barking.

Our other sister (sister 1) has said she would rather I don't take the dog as my niece is scared of them.

I would usually get our younger sister (sister 3) to dog sit but given the occasion she will obviously be there too.

Would I be unreasonable to push it a little and ask could I take the dog and leave him in the kitchen? the children will probably be playing upstairs most of the evening and the smokers of the group tend to congregate in the kitchen so its easier to get to the back door.

I don't really want to leave Dog on his own all evening because he will cry, he doesn't get left alone for long periods usually.

So WIBU to make this suggestion and potentially put DSis 1 in a position she would rather not be or am I being one of THOSE dog owners?

But isn't it incredibly short sighted not to train a dog to be used to being on it's own? Even if that means making a point of going out and leaving it. What if you are normally home but circs dictate you have to get another job which means leaving the dog. Or you just can't get anyone to dog sit it. It just seems madness to me.

We all want to teach our DCs to be independent, shouldn't we want that for our dogs too?

(OP I know you said you have family staying there but surely they go out during the day at some point and leave your dog? They can't stay in all day waiting for you to get home...)

Agree with everything you say itsmine

itsmine

I agree with veyrhting you wrote.

Many dog people are imo unable to respect that many people are afraid of dogs

I agree. This is what winds me up. I really dislike dogs, but I know many people feel differently- and I wholly respect that. I wouldn't bother your dog, nor would I dream of trying to irritate or hurt it. Not would my children. We would all stay well out of your way. So it drives me mad when people allow their dogs to run up and annoy us. "He's just being friendly" is the usual line. Maybe - but a) I don't know that and b) I don't care - I don't want it to come that close to me or to my children. Not all dog owners are like this, but I'd say a significant minority are.

Itsmine

Exactly, there's another thread I'm on at the moment there's a sign that says ''no dogs allowed'' at the school playground but picking the dog up and carrying it in is fine, right??''

No.

We are dealing with dog not liking being left alone but it is a gradual process and won't happen by Saturday.

They go to the shop etc but very short periods alone is a lot different to a whole evening.

This is a new situation. Dog used to be alone for about 3 hours in the morning and then another hour or so in the afternoon with no issues. We didn't see this coming at all so it's not bad training or lazy ownership. Possibly short sightedness but I am a bit annoyed at people implying I am an irresponsible dog owner because I can't fix this overnight!

7

Just found that thread. And the argument... "for some parents the school run is the only time they can take the dog for a walk". Well, in this case they shouldn't have a dog!

I don't see why that thread is being dragged into this one or how it is relevant.

My own post on that thread agreed that no dogs means no dogs.

Op, you are right, I shouldn't have continued to talk about that thread. Sorry.

itsmine I am going to repeat this again. The Dog was perfectly used to being left alone for a couple of hours at a time. Over half term my sister and her partner moved in to help with kids and have been here ever since. Half term was a few weeks ago. We realised the weekend before last that Dog had become uncomfortable left alone when I went out and came back to a howling dog. I was only gone 20 mins.
Since then we have been popping in and out to try and get dog used to being alone again.

It's not a case of we should have been training him. He WAS trained!!!

I brought it up to itsmine simply because it matched exactly the point they made.

I have dogs and they have been trained to be left alone for a few hours at a time. I've then had bouts of not leaving them at all really for a few weeks - they've never unlearned that training.
Say they were usually left until 6 and my hours changed so I got home at 3, they stayed in the kitchen (with back garden access) until 6 as I knew not to disrupt their routine. Maybe you could try this with people living there? If you know when you go to work or something you will never be home before 6, do not have the dog in other parts of the house while people are there until 6, works well :)

7 we could give that a go. I used to leave the house at 8am, my sister and bil would come and walk dog at 11am and then he would be alone again from when they left until 3.30 when I got home. How long they stayed depended on what they were doing that day.

We are aware that it is a problem and we are dealing with it slowly I have read lots and lots of threads on here with excellent advice.

Surely if they're trained to be left alone, that remains with them even if circumstances change. If not how do dogs cope with weekends and family being around more? They'd be dreading Mondays!

But all this is beside the point really. talksense has sensibly agreed not to take the dog with her to the family do and it's her problem if her dog can't be left. TBH it would drive me potty as I'm in and out the house all the time but that's beside the point.

It is a bit unreasonable for me to kick my sister and her partner out for hours at a time though just so the dog can be alone.

I have suggested on one occasion that I bring the dog along that is not expecting everyone to welcome it.

You really do see what you want to see.

talksensetome I really recommend it. Just keep the dog alone wherever it usually stays when you are out. even if you are home - until 3:30pm if that is your usual time. Make sure everyone knows the rules about not fussing the dog before this time (11am for his usual routine walk is fine). Of course if you keep him in the kitchen they can still go in there but do not make eye contact or fuss him. If you can take him for another walk in the morning to tire him out a little that would be ideal, I'm sure he would love three walks a day and considering his breed he probably needs it haha!

This is the best way to get him back into his routine and stick to to it - he will become accustomed once more. As others have said, and I'm sure you're well aware if he was already trained, leaving a dog alone is a vital thing to teach. (We did that thing when ours were pups about leaving the room for 5 mins, then 10 mins, then 15 etc until it was used to it.) Never ever go to a dog you're training to be alone while he's crying. That's the worst mistake to make.

I was always under the impression that dogs shouldn't be left alone for extended periods anyway. So a whole evening alone wouldn't be recommended anyway?

Seems you can't do right for doing wrong on mumsnet some days.

User I will speak to them about going out more. He is allowed the run of the house when we are out so keeping him in a specific place would be a bit of a change.

Hopefully though going off what people are saying it should be fairly easy to accomplish.

He's gorgeous! I would happily look after him for you.

talksensetome Are you with them all night? Nope. Dogs are fine to be left alone for periods of time. I have left mine for 5&1/2 before (due to an emergency, not as a regular thing) and it was a pair so they had eachother. The PDSA recommend no more than 4 hours on a regular basis but this can be increased as a very rare one off.

That's a good plan. We need ours in the kitchen, we once let them have the run of the house and they sat on the window sill and we came home to pulled down blinds! (Small dog breed - they're nosey buggars and like to get behind the blinds to stare out ) Now they stay in the kitchen with a big comfy bed.

Only last week she was saying her son wants me to breed my dog so he can have a puppy off it!

But that would be impossible because you are a responsible owner and therefore your dog is neutered ....... right?

Minefields no he is not yet neutered, however when I took him for his vet check when I took over ownership of him and had him vaccinated and microchipped we have discussed it and will be doing it in the new year when I can take time off work.

I categorically said no to breeding.

user yes I was with him all night until last week because he slept on my bed. Following advice on here we have not stopped that. However I have been on the sofa with my sister and her partner staying over so we are in the same room all night.