Family gathering, niece doesn't like dogs.

[talksensetome]

We are having a family gathering tomorrow to mark 20 years since our mum died, therefore my brothers and sisters will all be there, along with partners and children.

My sister (sister2) is hosting, she is ok with dogs although doesn't own one anymore. I have a dog which I would like to take, he is a good dog and doesn't jump up or run around barking.

Our other sister (sister 1) has said she would rather I don't take the dog as my niece is scared of them.

I would usually get our younger sister (sister 3) to dog sit but given the occasion she will obviously be there too.

Would I be unreasonable to push it a little and ask could I take the dog and leave him in the kitchen? the children will probably be playing upstairs most of the evening and the smokers of the group tend to congregate in the kitchen so its easier to get to the back door.

I don't really want to leave Dog on his own all evening because he will cry, he doesn't get left alone for long periods usually.

So WIBU to make this suggestion and potentially put DSis 1 in a position she would rather not be or am I being one of THOSE dog owners?

I asked my sister not to bring it while we were at my mums and she fell out with me over it, saying my children needed to be taught how to be around dogs.

It's this attitude (of the sister of this pp) that I hate so much. Children in dog free homes only need to be taught how to be around dogs because some dog owners are completely irresponsible and let their dogs run free around children. Maybe people with dogs need to be taught how to behave around children?

Your relatives should ask you if they can bring their kids next time they come to yours - they'd probably make far more noise and mess than your dog ever would

I hate moaning kids that don't like animals!!!!

I hate entitled animal lovers who have no respect for other people and think they and their animals are more important than anyone else.

I hate entitled animal lovers who have no respect for other people and think they and their animals are more important than anyone else.

This ^^ with bells and whistles on.

I hate entitled animal lovers who have no respect for other people and think they and their animals are more important than anyone else.

Exackt! 👏👏👏

I hate moaning kids that don't like animals!!!! Their parents are just turning them into little pansies!!!!

Hehe! Presume you've been on the wine!

Neither me or my DCs hate dogs but some dogs are are just scary TBH especially those with owners who think they are PFBs!

OP, all I'm going to say is, I wish my in laws were as thoughtful as you! I've offered to work Christmas Day as SIL is demanding to take dogs to FILs, where Christmas is being hosted this year. I'm scared of dogs, the 2 Staffies jumped up me repeatedly for 30 minutes when I saw them 3 weeks ago and my 4 year old child will be going . I wish she would back down as easily as you, and actually this thread has made me realise how unreasonable my SIL is, thank you!

talksensetome how did it go and did you take the dog?

I love dogs but I understand some people (especially some kids) are scared by them; sometimes because they have been bitten by them or knocked over by them.

Yes - hope you had a good day with your family, talksense

I agree do not take the dog but that seems to have already been established, however as a dog owner myself I would never take my dog to someone else's house nor would I want any of my friends to bring their dog to my house! And I certainly wouldn't want someone to bring a dog to a party!

This thread got a bit ridiculous it was almost funny...

Hope you had a nice time with your family. Dogs can be a pain can't they? I love my own dog, and allow my kids to play with her. However, when my sister turned up with her dog at my mum's house while we were visiting, a family drama started. I am actually not talking to my sister now as a result. I think you have been very reasonable, you asked if it was ok, and have changed your plans accordingly. Perfectly reasonable.

Take your dog. You've already said the home owner doesn't mind and the other sister used to have dogs. If the dog is an issue to her then she can keep her daughter separate in the rest of the house.

People who are commenting saying about the spoilt pooch; there's nothing worse than a spoilt child who the world revolves around. Fears are supposed to be faced and this dog doesn't sound like an evil monster.

What a beautiful dog. I love a dog at a party! I'd much rather talk to the dog than the guests usually.

Is 'take/don't take the dog' the new 'cancel the cheque'?

Staggered by the number of people who don't rtft when it's hundreds of posts long and the situation just may have moved on.

Op - hope the gathering went well, you were very gracious about everything.

Well I apologise for not knowing the mumsnet rules. Zzzzzzz

Natstar - if you go to the top of the page, next to where it says Talk, there is a little downward arrow - v -. If you click on that, and select Customise in the drop down menu, you can choose to highlight all the original poster's posts in any thread - you choose a colour. You can highlight your own too, in a different colour.

This means you can easily scroll through a long thread and just read any updates from the OP, and don't end up offering advice when the OP has already made a decision.

HTH

Thank you! That makes trawling through millions of pages a lot easier!!

Hi. I had a very similar situation with a family holiday at Easter. We have a wee rescue dog who is lovely but can be nervous and bark. We were going to a big house with my brother and his family, my family, my parents and my sister and husband. My brother and sister both were very clear they didn't want the dog there as my nieces 2 and 4 may be scared. My husband and kids weren't happy as they had wanted to take the dog on walks on the beach. After a lot of thought and debate I decided not to push it and left the dog at home with my mother in law.. After speaking to friends their view was that family should come before dogs and I honestly would have been very upset if the dog had barked or snapped at my nieces as she can be unpredicatable. Your dog sounds lovely but I'd advise you to put the family first on this occasion (even though its not what you want) and you could maybe speak to them about it at a less emotionally charged time and get your niece more familiar with the dog with more one to one time. We've decided for the next holiday all to get separate accomodation beside each other so we can bring the dog as my kids and hubby were so keen to take her and I know she would be fine as long as she has her own space. Although my sister now has her own dog so would probably be a very different story now....anyway.....Hope it works out ok for you - I really feel your pain! xxxx

Well, staggered might be a slight exaggeration. I've been here a long time

Maybe it's the difference between being a default lurker or not - I love mumsnet because there's always something to read, and post relatively rarely.

Well I left the dog at home with a sitter.

My sister who is staying with me, and her partner offered to take my kids home early, she is pregnant and tired and he doesn't get on especially well with anyone else.

When sister 1 realised that she was taking the kids home to mine she actually had the cheek to ask her to take her kids too!
Dsis3 and I both said But niece is terrified of the dog!
Sister said oh, oh yea.

Funny how dniece can cope with dogs when dsis 1 wants to get pissed kid free.

Just

Fuck it, you did the right thing, your sister sounds like an arse

Sounds quite annoying - she jut wanted it all her own way. Well you did your best and made more of an effort to keep the peace so at least your conscious is clear xxx

That's rather awful.

If her child is really terrified of dogs it's especially awful. And if she isn't... well, in this case that's still really selfish and rude!