Family gathering, niece doesn't like dogs.

[talksensetome]

We are having a family gathering tomorrow to mark 20 years since our mum died, therefore my brothers and sisters will all be there, along with partners and children.

My sister (sister2) is hosting, she is ok with dogs although doesn't own one anymore. I have a dog which I would like to take, he is a good dog and doesn't jump up or run around barking.

Our other sister (sister 1) has said she would rather I don't take the dog as my niece is scared of them.

I would usually get our younger sister (sister 3) to dog sit but given the occasion she will obviously be there too.

Would I be unreasonable to push it a little and ask could I take the dog and leave him in the kitchen? the children will probably be playing upstairs most of the evening and the smokers of the group tend to congregate in the kitchen so its easier to get to the back door.

I don't really want to leave Dog on his own all evening because he will cry, he doesn't get left alone for long periods usually.

So WIBU to make this suggestion and potentially put DSis 1 in a position she would rather not be or am I being one of THOSE dog owners?

I don't think you should take him, unless you're prepared to keep him tied up all day.

It's a family gathering, children take priority over pets.

I'm scared of dogs and can't relax when one is roaming around, even if he doesn't jump up or get excited.

Niece is 8 but the youngest daughter and quite mollycoddled so I don't want to chance Dsis getting a cob on and saying oh well we just won't come then.

Getting a cob on? Your sister can't win, can she? You'll be pissed off if she insists about the dog, but you'll also be pissed off if you get to take your dog and then she stays away with her niece. The niece is basically obliged to come and pretend she's not that scared of your dog, for you to be happy.

I wouldn't. My dd is terrified of dogs, but my sister insisted that her dog be present for a huge family gathering at her house. This caused a huge argument, and there is now a rift. Leave th dog at home!

Keeping dogs in a single room at a party never works. People come and go, opening the door, and the dog will sneak out. The owners are then usually half-hearted in their attempts to retrieve the dog, and usually stand around laughing, making jokes about how clever and cute the dog is for escaping.

It's a dog. leave it at home. My sister always brings her dog at Christmas. Yes it's locked in the utility room but it whines and barks leaves a powerful doggy smell. Dog owners are immune to the smell I think.

My sister brought a dog to a recent family gathering. Even though it was a well controlled dog, and there was no one who,hated dogs, it was a pain in the back side. it was like having a toddler as my sister had to check it didn't jump up on the sofa, take it for walks etc.

I would find someone to dog sit.

Hope,you have a lovely 20 year commemorative get together.

You need to focus on getting the dog to be able to stay home alone.

I'm a dog person (I have 7) and most of my social activities involve dogs coming along with their owners since most of my friends are also involved in dog sports, so it's usual for us to take our dogs along to play with each other, because these are dogs that have been specifically socialised with each other. But, as much as I adore my dogs, if it's not an event that specifically includes them, then they just have to stay home. I wouldn't even consider taking them to someone else's house if that person were not already involved in my hobby. They are dogs, not children. And if someone were coming to my home that was afraid of dogs, then they would go in their crates/runs for the duration of the visit.

I love my dogs, but I don't expect the rest of the world to feel the same way.

My sil brought her dog to family gatherings at our home a couple of times. We have a dog, but it's well behaved. I spent the day kicking hers around the kitchen as I cooked for everyone, because it was small and always at my feet looking for food, whereas ours is big and keeps out of the kitchen when we're busy. I stood on it repeatedly when stepping backwards too.

I made her take it out to the car - is that an option?

I really wouldn't take the dog, it is going to be an emotional enough time for you all without bringing along a potential trigger which could turn the whole thing tits up if it looked at your niece in the wrong way, remember that the children will NOT stay upstairs playing, they will wander down for drinks and snacks and are likely to go into the kitchen, or someone will leave the kitchen door open and the dog will get into the rest of the house.

I think the idea of a baby sitter being asked if they will turn dog sitter for a day is a good idea if your dog is usually amenable to strangers.

Have you not noticed that the OP many many posts back said she'd leave the dog at home?

At least make an attempt at finding the OP's posts before weighing in! (you can colour-code them if it helps...)

My sister wants to bring hers on NYD, we've have 2 cats. I've said no. She's now hugging and not coming to family do. Please just leave the dog

Where is Dilly at a time like this?

NEWS FLASH: Not everybody loves dogs.
You are being one of 'those' dog owners.
I got bitten by a dog as a child and still am quite scared of them. Maybe your niece has had a bad experience too.
Your dog won't die if left alone for an evening.

gosh no, NannyOgg, I missed that, thank you so much for policing the boards to make sure every word is read and understood. You are a credit to MN.

I just want to clear a few points up.

The Dsis whose house it is doesn't mind the dog so it's not a case of the dog not being wanted in the kitchen.

I wouldn't want Dsis to stay away with Niece, so it's not a case of she can't win at all, I would clearly much rather they are there than the dog. I put that information in as an explanation of why I started a thread. Any of my other sisters I would just ask the question and they would either say no, that still doesn't work or Yes we will give it a go and either answer would be the end of it.
This particular Dsis would probably instead of just saying no I still don't think DD will manage, would make a big fuss and refuse to come at all. that's why I wanted to see if it was a reasonable suggestion.

Yes Dog is mollycoddled, as I said up thread it is something we are working on and happened because my younger sister and her partner have had to come and stay with us meaning they are there all day long. He has gotten used to it and now cries whereas he didn't before. It isn't something I foresaw and he certainly wasn't coddled on purpose.

Leave the dog at home.

Before you go, take dog for a long walk, give him a large bone or chew, and maybe leave the radio on if that helps. Don't stay out too late. I'm sure the dog can cope for one evening- it's not like you are doing this every day.

I am mind-boggled by the sheer arrogance of some dog owners who think that just because they love dogs, then people who don't have some sort of "problem" that they will cure by getting them used to them. Arrogant beyond belief!!!!

This. Absolutely this!! ^^

Dn is mollycoddled though, that is an observation unrelated to the dog, I didn't mean her fear of dogs is what made her mollycoddled, just in general she is. Sorry that you don't like it but some children are. Her sister and brother aren't, my other nieces and nephews aren't but this particular DN is.

Wow, everyone's harsh today. The op already said she'd find another option.

Op - I have some sympathy for your situation. I've been in a situation myself when visiting family where our dog had been invited where another guest (who would be visiting for a couple of hours during the weekend we were staying) asked us not to bring her. I don't think it's quite so clear cut when it isn't the host's request.

Oh and I very rarely visit people, I am not a people person, but if I was visiting anyone else my younger sister or brother would be available to dog sit so it wouldn't be a problem. I don't take him everywhere I go but in general if he is welcome he comes, if not then I get a dog sitter.

I am mind-boggled by the sheer arrogance of some dog owners who think that just because they love dogs, then people who don't have some sort of "problem" that they will cure by getting them used to them. Arrogant beyond belief!!!!

+1 for this.

I have a DD who is scared of dogs. My DM (who always has about 7 dogs at any one time - I can't keep track) has a solution: We should get a dog so DD gets used to them.

Amazing priorities. I was brought up with dogs. Never liked them much. Have my own house and will not have one so that DD can be "cured" and become a "normal" doggy-person.

Perhaps there is a reason why dn is mollycoddled that you don't know about.