Not wanting to breastfeed

[Cocklodger]

99.9 percent sure I'm going to be causing a bun fight, really hoping that doesn't happen.
My LG is a few days old. I don't want to breastfeed.
I just,don't want to. Its difficult, It feels unpleasant (I have tried) I really don't like it, Its much easier for me to FF and I know FF is almost as good.
When I told my MW I didn't want to I felt forced to try, still don't like it now.
But I've had a couple of (negative) comments already about it, I don't feel like elaborating hugely so just say ''I just don't want to'', soon to be ex h has had massive a strop about it, My sister and mother have commented also.
Is it U for these comments to be made?
Surely its my right to choose how my baby gets fed without judgement.

I didn't BF my Dd's I didn't even try it. Nobody pressured me even in hospital. I did feel ignored though as the three ladies who breastfed had their curtains closed almost constantly and had a lot of attention from the midwives. I had a CS both times and didn't get the care I needed.

I found breastfeeding so very easy and fed all my children until they were 3, but if you don't want to don't. It's your business no one else's

In my experience, the pressure to BF can hugely impact on the bonding process. Ds1 couldn't latch on and I expressed for 6 weeks. I felt traumatised I couldn't feed him, and I feel this even channelled into my attitude to him eating solid foods and him being a fussy eater. Once I threw away my breastfeeding pump, I really started to bond with him and felt I'd taken back control.
I managed to BF Ds2 but as he was feeding for around two hours every time, I decided to give up after two weeks because it was not practical or with a four year old.
They are 11 and 7 now and vary rarely get ill.

Go for it - ignore others opinions - do what is right for you
I breastfed both mine but I was lucky to not have too many problems
My HV tried to persuade me to formula feed as they were slow weight gainers - I ignored and stopped going for weighing on the advice of my mum
DS is now a 6'4" adult DD is a petite 5' 1"

How about, "They're my nipples, I don't really feel comfortable discussing them." It worked with a male colleague who informed me, "You'll be breastfeeding, right?"

Do whatever feels right for you. I never breastfed, it never even entered my head to try it. It wasnt mentioned at the hospital, it was just assumed all babies were FF. My children are grown up now and I dont know anyone at that time who breastfed, it wasnt promoted like it is now.

It's literally nobody else's business. Do whatever feels right for you. As long as your baby gets milk and is growing, that's all that matters. I'm sure you absolutely support anybody who wants to BF and wouldn't judge them for it, they should give you the same respect.

So don't. None of anyone else's business.

Oh I should also say, when I went in to have DD2, I'd packed loads of those little bottles of ready to feed formula a day expecting lots of pressure to bf, couldn't have been more wrong! The midwives were fine and kept bringing formula when needed, so mine went home unopened! Hopefully you'll have a similar experience and won't feel hassled or pressured

Dd is ff as she refused to latch and im so grateful she is. Weve bounded better in my opinion as shes ff as sleeps through from 6 weeks so im not tried and dh can fed her so hes really bounded with her too. My friend (same birth gp) bf for 6 weeks struggled to bond as was tried and has only bounded since giving up bf as her dd was not gaining weight on bf as she should be so on advice of hv mixed bf then ff and now ff only and baby slept through about 2 weeks aftershe stopped bf. Another benefit of ff is you know how much dd has. My dd is 15 wks now and doing everything she should be at her age. Shes bright alert and smiles for england and guves amazing hugs. Enjoy your newborn. Its amazing crazy time but those snuggles are worth it!!! Its your baby do wants right for you be it bf or ff. the only thing id consider if you dont bf is that first milk i expressed it as felt that was important. congratulations on your baby x

I never BF, barely tried it. FF meant my DP could feed DD too, I wasn't attached to her for hours on end and best of all, got some sleep too. Any feed is better than no feed.

Likes whatsthe i found the hospital was supportive of both bf and ff. after she refused to latch they bought me little bottles whenever i asked.

i really wanted to BF . and got myself into a bad state with the stress of it all . for some it's a learnt skill and DS and i just couldn't crack it. milk dried up with the stress.

moving to FF was the best thing we did. i was happy and DS was much happier with the bottle .

do what makes u happy and to hell with anyone else . i never felt the need to explain myself.

good luck and enjoy your lovely baby.

Breastfed until DD self-weaned and got loads of stick about that. Sometimes you can't win!

Your body your choice. With regards to comebacks, something along the lines of "do you always dictate what others can do with their own breasts?" worked well enough for me.

I ff all 3 of mine from birth, tbh I really couldn't have given a shite what other people thought, I think I was given a sidewards look once maybe twice with my third when we were out and about but I didn't need any comebacks because I was really happy and comfortable with my decision so anyone else could whistle for it.

I didn't even try. I really didn't want too so I didn't, nobody ever said a word that I remember!

It's really annoying that you have people around you who keep going on like this, especially at a time when you're settling as a mum and don't need all this hassle. Formula saved my sanity, I tried BF but it just didn't work. Formula is amazing. DS is now 2.5 and those days are just a speck in his life! You do what's best for the both of you and when anyone says anything, just blank them or use one of the good replies that have been suggested here.

I'm very pro-breastfeeding, IF you want to. If you decide it's not for you for any reason it's nobody else's business and anyone judging can get lost.

Enjoy your new baby.

I really didn't want to breastfeed and didn't. It's has to be what's right for you, it's more important you and your little one are happy.

You'll get some say it's better for baby, reduces illnesses etc, but I don't think it's affected my daughter. She saw the doctor for her baby check ups. After this I've needed to get her checked out by the doctor four times in 15 years - first time was two weeks after MMR and doctor thought it was that kicking in and making her ill, mild eczema, she did have to have her appendix out and then for one dose of tonsillitis. The only medicine she's had from the doctor is eczema cream for a while and two lots of antibiotics for the latter to things.

fwiw i felt quite put out that our NCT teacher wouldn't even discuss FF . nor would she discuss c sections .

i ended up with both and felt that it was almost money down the drain . that was 10 or more years ago.

i do hope they are abit more enlightened these days.

I quit after a week when my LO wouldn't latch on so I'd be expressing after each feed to get enough for him. There was never enough and I was permanently exhausted.
He's now a very happy 7 month old.

Happy mum = happy baby. Congrats on your new baby x

Cocklodger Tbh, do what is best for you.

I exclusively breastfed my first child for 18 months and never expressed. I exclusively breastfed my second for 18 months, but started to express after 7 months.

I was fortunate in that I had no issues after the first 72 hours really and a very plentiful supply.

But I still received criticism. Not from strangers, but from family. Comments included:

"I think she's being really unfair BF because we want to have a go at feeding her" (exMIL to exh)

"She's bloody selfish doing it, that's what she is" (exFIL)

"Yes, yes, we get it. Don't you think you've made your point now?" (my mother after 6 months)

"You're not still doing that are you?" (Dad's wife after a year)

Oh and the scbu nurse who said, "if you start all that business now, you'll be doing it in the night too". Well, er, yeah, don't all babies need feeding somehow?

Enjoy your baby and welcome to the world where Whatever You Do Will Be Wrong. People love to criticise mothers of new babies, largely because they consider themselves to be the experts and you to be the wet behind the ears newbie. I think it irritates them when you make a confident decision about anything to be honest!

I'd tell them if they feel that strongly about it they're welcome to lactate.

If you want to, you could look at hand expressing a teaspoon or two of colostrum on the first couple of days and use a dropper syringe to pop it into your baby's mouth. That has a lot health benefits and will be leaking out anyway.

My family were the opposite and the majority of mine berated me for BF'ing and made very passive aggressive comments most times they saw me. They said they couldn't understand why I would want to breast feed when I could just give formula.

You've tried it, you don't like it, don't do it. Nothing will stop people making comments though.

When DS was 5 days old there was a knock on the door, my husband answered it and it was a male neighbour who we often had little chats with in the street and he said to DH, "Is she breast feeding the baby? I hope she is?" It was really, really bizarre. How was it any of his business??

People can be very odd when it comes to feeding babies.

Congratulations on your baby