To be devastated that I can't breastfeed my baby?

[smellsofelderberries]

My little one is 6 days old and we just can't seem to get the hang of breastfeeding, and it's really affecting me. I spend so much of the days in tears over it. I am pumping and she is having bottles, but on the rare occasion I can get her to latch she just lies there and won't suck. I have a good milk supply, but we just can't seem to make it happen I am desperate to breastfeed and don't know what else to do.
Anyone else had similar and managed to successfully transition from bottle to breast? I'm starting to lose hope
We have seen a lactation consultant at our local childhood health centre but wondering if a private consultant might be the next step, though I'm not sure how they can help if she just won't suck.

Fair enough Errol. I just thought that the baby sucking stimulated the milk supply so if they're sucking a dummy in those early days or taking a bottle instead then that would mean less stimulation and potentially longer for the milk to come in.

Yes - it's a balance - let the babe suckle as long as s/he will and only then offer the topup.

Haven't rrtft but has baby been assessed for lip or tongue tie. This can affect latch and feeding. The NHS don't do much about it in most places so join the Facebook group "tongue tie babies support group" there's lots of great advice on there and where you can get an assessment properly. Keep pimping and attempting to latch. Lots of skin to skin and warm baths together can help. Seek advice from a trained IBCLC. Good luck. And no I don't think yabu, i would have been devastated too but you do your best and what matters is that baby is healthy regardless of how that happens. X congratulations by the way. X

bfmed.wordpress.com/2016/11/07/evidence-is-clear-baby-friendly-hospital-initiative-increases-breastfeeding-rates-in-the-us-and-closes-breastfeeding-disparities/

The UNICEF response to the New Scientist piece.

the womanly art of breastfeeding is fab!
the politics of breastfeeding is also v interesting!

minifingerz - thanks for that!

jellycat - yes there was milk substitutes for infants before the 20th century but it certainly wasnt prevalent. it is only in the 1920s that formula as we know it started being rly commercialised, popular and regularly used. my grandmother's generation would have been the first one rly affected as parents but even then it was often mixed feedings then or weaning onto milk substitutes. The generation after that was the most targeted ie my parents' generations (again, as parents, ie feeding their children, my generation). between the 40s and the 80s or thereabout i think ff went from strength to strength. Since the 90s governments and health systems have slowly tried to reverse the trend. so in my view we do not have generations to attest to anything. my parents generation may have been partly ff and they would be reaching their 60s-70s. my generation (people today in their 30s-40s) would have been the most affected by it. thats my understanding anyway. if you have stats it would be interesting to see those.

interesting re the concept of risk not being useful! good point! but the breast is best isnt working either as it puts breastfeeding as an 'ideal' a 'gold medal' and somehow makes it unattainable. after all we all know we are not going to be perfect parents so putting bf up there with 'perfection' isnt helpful...

Sorry, late to the party and not read the other comments but take time to sit with her in a warm, quiet room with your breasts bare and her near. Don't think about it, don't try to feed her just cuddle her and enjoy her but with no clothes to inhibit anything. Sometimes that's all that's needed for it to happen naturally. If it doesn't then it doesn't. Line up 100 children aged 10 and you will not be able to tell who was breastfed, who was bottle fed, who wore washable nappies, who wore disposables. You can't tell who was potty trained at 18months, or three years, who walked first etc etc. She's your baby, she's perfect for you and you're perfect for her. Enjoy

What a lovely way to put it.

I really feel for you, OP. I could have written your post, with my newborn (she's now 7!). I bet you feel overwrought with anxiety, and knackered from constantly feeding, expressing or sterilising. I cant tell you how many NHS midwives I saw, all told me she was latched on, but she was not gaining weight. After six weeks, I arranged a private consultation with Claire Byam-Cook,who got her latched on in about 5 minutes. I dont have her number anymore, but I think she works out of a clinic in Chiswick or Putney. If you google it, I am sure you will find a contact for her.

Unfortunately for me, by the time we got it sorted, I was too knackered to carry on for much longer. I felt awful about it, but looking back, it really didnt have an impact on my DD's health or well being, it upset me that I couldnt do it though, as I felt a real need.

Take care, and I hope things work out for you both.

My youngest was born early and couldn’t latch at first. Poor little love had to be tube fed for a while. It took weeks to transition to breastfeeding but we got there. She is well on her way to being two and the only other issue we had with feeding was getting her to stop.

All my others I breastfed for the beginning. Pumping milk when she couldn’t latch was so hard. Far more difficult than breastfeeding, in my opinion. Know you are doing an amazing job. You are providing the milk for your baby and that is a wonderful thing. Try to focus on that and the positives like the progress you are making for now.