... to let all you chancers know that there's no MN Secret Santa this year

[BIWI]

Mumsnet is a very different place now, compared to a few years ago, when the lovely Soapy set up the first secret Santa.

It's become a much bigger site, which obviously benefits MNHQ, but it's made a secret Santa untenable.

There have been a lot of rumblings over the last few years from people about whether we want it or not. But ultimately it's become just too big and unmanageable a job for anyone to handle.

So all you chancers who wait until this time each year to post your sob stories no longer need to bother.

I always cringe when I see the reddit gift exchange. For every "omg a random celebrity was my gifter and they gave me this super awesome exclusive gift" I bet there's an "ew I got a shit covered sock wrapped around a dead cockroach".

Bigger gift exchanges have more risks that MMHQ don't want linked to mumsnet maybe.

BIWI- you were always one of the most optimistically pollyanna-ish posters (but in a good, not a naive way).
What has happened?

MN has made you into a cynic. That cannot be a good thing.

I loved it in the old days, looking out stuff to hand on, snapping up a treat, popping in some chocolates for the tree, wrapping so carefully each gift, addressing to The Mumsnetter Of The House. It was lovely to do. Happy times.

I remember the old present swap threads back when it were all fields round here and there were about 20,000 three of us putting coins in Justine's begging bowl [puts tinsel around zimmer frame]. I still wear a necklace I got in one of them and use a fantastic set of giraffe salad servers I got in another. The embarrassing problem was that my gifts back were never as good. The Secret Santa is a bit challenging jonny-come-lately for me.

I've got nothing at all against people in genuine need. But the thing is, people in real need don't generally tend to yell it from the rooftops. Ime, they don't hint for things or tug on the heartstrings because they're busy getting on with it. I know that sounds harsh, but as I've said that's just in my experience.
There are so many agencies out there to help with this kind of thing as well.
I read a thread earlier and by the end of it I was just thinking, "you want strangers from the Internet to send you money".
I'd sooner struggle than go jonesing for funds like that.

Trills I'm FAR from new. I've been here for over 8 years. I know all about it thanks.

I never got my present in the last present swap. Tarnished it slightly for me.

And I actually took part in a craft exchange many moons ago on here. It was very nice. I enjoyed making my gift and loved receiving one.

I see that SS is a bit tricky though. Not the same as gift exchanges.

I always got the impression the chancers and the secret santa were different.

The chancers appeared to be more after cold hard cash than the odd bottle of bubble bath, donated by an anonymous mumsnetter.

When I was a newbie 5+ years ago, the threads were rife from the end of October.

And so many Mumsnetters used to say, "Well I'd rather offer them £10 than have it on my conscience that their kids went without at Christmas."

KERRRCHIIING!

But fortunately HQ has seemed on the ball in the last 2 years or so, and post the standard warning message about giving more than you can afford to lose...yadda yadda and the 'culture' seems to be dying out slowly.

In other words, people are copping on.

I still wear the coat I was able to buy with the gift vouchers, coupled with a stonking reduction by the store concerned, from my secret santa, so if you are on this thread and you remember the PM I sent you with a link to the coat, thank you again!

I have donated every year and once was nominated to receive a gift. I loved shopping for presents and sending them off. If this is true (no Secret Santa) Mumsnet is the worse for it 🙁

I would also like to say that the clothing bundle sent to me by a lovely Mumsnetter for my DD years ago when I was having a hard time, were very much appreciated and I still remember the relief I felt when I got that parcel.

She included lovely boots for my DD (much needed) and some beautiful, barely worn clothes too. I had absolutely no cash at the time, having been very unwell post birth and a benefits mix up coupled with my DH being laid off.

We are happily much, much better off now. But I won't forget that Mumsnetter.

Nothing sour or bitter about my post, BIWI, but your thread title is goady

maquiladora - goady? I think not. Frustrated and saddened - definitely.

I wouldn't say goady. I'd say refreshingly forthright.

Undersmile - I know

I always like to see the good in people and their posts, but as already evidenced in this thread it's nigh on impossible.

It's not goady, it's true.

I loved reading the SS threads and donated once, it was lovely when it was good but the souring of it all last year really ruined it.

MrsC - (it's me, hawk shhh).
I think you were nominated by many (including me) as you are so awesome with the way you handled the cockwomble!!

I still love you BIWI

*Trills" Thanks for taking the time to explain.
It sounds like a simple way to help others , without going to massive
expense which none of us can afford.

It's a shame that there are some people who will exploit goodwill.

Feck it anyway, did I miss free presents

It's also very telling that when MNHQ took over the running of the thing, they precluded posters from receiving nominations unless they had been registered users of the site for at least 6 months

I had a mn ss parcel about 3 years ago - I never posted sob stories but was going through asd diagnosis process with my ds2 -at the time and was active in the SN section so I think that might be where I picked up the nomination from. One of the presents in my parcel was a hamleys Christmas key ring and I still have it on my keys all year round, and often when I see it I remember the kindness of the lovely mner who sent us our ss parcel that year. I still don't know who sent it, but on the off chance that they read this and remember - thank you!

Thank you Undersmile

Honestly I'm delighted, it makes the site a bit more shitty around Christmas when it is on.

I'll repeat my story, one year my purse was stolen with a load of money in it, over a grand. I posted about it as I was sitting in the police station waiting to report it. I was venting. I came home and switched on my phone, hundreds of messages and private messaging me telling me I was scum,a beggar, I should be ashamed, my kids taken off me
I wasn't looking for anything! Even MHHQ stood up for me! It was just that time of the year. I just didn't know it.

I never posted about troubles I had again. My skin is still growing back from being scorched off. I learned my lesson.