... to let all you chancers know that there's no MN Secret Santa this year

[BIWI]

Mumsnet is a very different place now, compared to a few years ago, when the lovely Soapy set up the first secret Santa.

It's become a much bigger site, which obviously benefits MNHQ, but it's made a secret Santa untenable.

There have been a lot of rumblings over the last few years from people about whether we want it or not. But ultimately it's become just too big and unmanageable a job for anyone to handle.

So all you chancers who wait until this time each year to post your sob stories no longer need to bother.

If an ENORMOUS site like Reddit manages multiple gift exchanges yearly, why can't MN?

Reddit is MUCH bigger.

Are we still doing Janet and Roy letters though?!

Looks like user^^ is volunteering to organise and manage the secret santa

I can't see any reason why MN should organise a Secret Santa anyway. It was nice while it happened. It's not happening now, and there are plenty of other ways to gift to people in communities who really need it if you want to.

If an ENORMOUS site like Reddit manages multiple gift exchanges yearly, why can't MN?
Because they don't want to

Reddit is MUCH bigger
And Mumsnet drinks more gin.

It's become a much bigger site, which obviously benefits MNHQ, but it's made a secret Santa untenable

I'm fairly new here. Has anybody got time to give me a quick precis of what used to happen and what is now untenable? Or shall I just bugger off and mind my own business?

user528975982094830948 is new and has not experienced a MN Secret Santa so does not understand how it differs from a gift exchange.

here is some useful information for you

MN Secret Santa always seemed to be more about the sender feeling good about themselves and their largesse.

Reddit didn't get massively hacked.

How could they do a Secret Santa this year? Half the posters are too lazy to think of a user name. We could nominate User35769332 when we meant to nominate User35869334. It would be a logistical nightmare.

This is my first year on mn and I saw that thread title and thought

"looking to tug the heart strings"

It's horrible that we can't somehow help genuine MNers struggling because of chancers

I would happily help out a MNer I knew was a regular

metaphoricus The MN Secret Santa was not of the kind where everyone sends a gift and receives a gift.

People volunteered to give gifts, either of the type "I have some toys that would be good for a preschooler" or "I want to be kind and give a gift of vouchers" or similar.

Other people nominated posters who were having a hard time. e.g I could message MNHQ and say "I think metaphoricus deserves a gift; she's had a terrible year". The nominated posters were contacted and their addresses and ages of children were gathered.

Matching occurred. It was complicated.

In previous years I was told "you are giving to MNer #3567 and the address is...", for example.

Some users were suspected of joining just before Christmas and posting sob stories so that they would be nominated to receive a gift.

Liney good point, less gin = more control over users personal details.

I belong to several online groups, mostly craft related, and the begging boards happen year after year from the beginning of November. Then there are the post Xmas 'swapsies' that frequently only go one way.

I'm not trying to be naive, and yes, there probably are some posters trying to scam, but the first year I saw the SS I actually cried when I read the thank you thread, and I fell in love with mumsnet. And for me, mumsnet helping others is mumsnet at its best, and threads like this aren't mumsnet at its best. If you doubt someone, report and move on, and use your time trying to be constructively helpful. All the faces on threads just leave a sour taste in the mouth TBH and don't seem in the spirit of Christmas.

Some users were suspected of joining just before Christmas and posting sob stories so that they would be nominated to receive a gift.

Are you serious?? What was the ££ limit or did it not work like that?

OK 🎄 I know it's been getting a little messy the last couple of years.

I'd like to re-thank everyone for my present 2 years ago, it was really nice of you all

Gawd yes Lou. And the posters pouting that they hadn't received as much as other recipients. All went a bit sour after that.

I had been posting here for more than a year and had no idea about Secret Santa until I was nominated after my hideous fucking divorce and received a lovely gift. I was very touched and grateful. Just saying

Are you serious??

What do you think this thread is about?

It saddens me that this is not being done this year.

A couple of years ago I was nominated to receive a gift and it meant so much. The gift itself was incredibly generous and made a really big difference to me at a time when we were going through redundancy, marriage problems, you name it. But the fact that someone had thought enough of me to nominate me really moved me, it bouyed me up in a way I cannot begin to describe.

That said, I can understand why it would be withdrawn, its inevitable that you will get people who join to here long enough to be nominated by other people who are are in on the scam :(

It starts with sour and bitter posts from posters like Maquiladora, and finds up with scamming posts from chancers.

The original ambition of the secret Santa was to help Mumsnetters who were having a hard time, either emotionally or financially. And we nominated posters because the site was small enough for us all to have a feel for these things.

It's inevitable that as the site has grown that this has become more difficult.

But the negativity and sour, bitterness and envy has made it totally unviable. Which is a great shame. So the sad legacy of something once truly lovely, is the chancers and naysayers.

So thanks for that.

Wittery it's very hard to watch people fall for it.

There have been some absolutely epic rip offs and there does need to be some level of awareness about what can be behind threads. Some people are so very generous.

Report button is all very well but all MN can do about many of these is put the standard warning on the thread.