... to let all you chancers know that there's no MN Secret Santa this year

[BIWI]

Mumsnet is a very different place now, compared to a few years ago, when the lovely Soapy set up the first secret Santa.

It's become a much bigger site, which obviously benefits MNHQ, but it's made a secret Santa untenable.

There have been a lot of rumblings over the last few years from people about whether we want it or not. But ultimately it's become just too big and unmanageable a job for anyone to handle.

So all you chancers who wait until this time each year to post your sob stories no longer need to bother.

I agree. HQ's hands are tied on the begging threads. Because unlike the trolls who lift the baby pics, the beggars are harder to actually "out"

I engaged for (what felt like) weeks with HQ over a very long term and prolific poor person and HQ would come back at me and say "we know, we know, but we can't stop people sending her hampers being kind"

They knew well enough that she was a scammer.

I don't think HQ's hands are tied particularly. They're not bound to give the nature of their concerns when they delete a thread. At the same time, they're quite right to say that they can't stop being who take concerns on board but give anyway. As a site, they are probably more concerned about the content of what is on their board (and seeing that it stays within talk guidelines) than individuals choosing to give without caution - they have no responsibility other than to suspend/delete a thread when they have concerns. Stamping out troll hunting and moderating the overall tone of the forum on sensitive issues is much trickier, I'd imagine.

And I don't think this thread is beyond the pale, exactly. It's unpleasant in how it contributes to the mindset that a poster being hard up = a poster begging for handouts and begging= probably scamming - therefore indiscriminate condemnation and scorn = the only sensible response. But the actual beyond the pale stuff happens next, when someone 'in need' starts a thread.

I'm sorry you are unable to see how your words may contribute to the isolation of vulnerable people, OP.

You were very kind to me, BIWI, after that time I was extremely ill, and I appreciate it.

FYI "beyond the pale" has been discussed on here extensively and it's considered offensive.

Crash - why offensive?

Yes they have.

I think it's the historical context that's the problem. This might explain it better than I can;
www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/beyond-the-pale.html

Originating in Russia, but mainly used regarding Ireland.

Within the pale- English ruled
Beyond the pale- not.

Hence some see beyond the pale itself as an offensive expression because of its meaning. That the expression used to describe the non-English ruled Irish now means something unacceptable iyswim? Like saying the expression is synonymous with the people.

It's best not to use it anyway.

It's unpleasant in how it contributes to the mindset that a poster being hard up = a poster begging for handouts and begging= probably scamming - therefore indiscriminate condemnation and scorn

Nowhere did I say or even intimate that. Stop projecting and making unfounded accusations about me

I'm sorry you are unable to see how your words may contribute to the isolation of vulnerable people, OP

And you can stop with the faux concern and passive aggressive shit.

What a lovely poster you are, slender. What contribution do you make to MN? How are you helping other posters here? How much a part of the community are you?

Sorry for disappearing! Yes, it's since been explained that the origins are offensive to people of Irish descent. I will that it didn't know until recently either. Sorry for zipping off and getting distracted.

And apologies for the poor formatting there. For the avoidance of doubt, it should have read like this:

It's unpleasant in how it contributes to the mindset that a poster being hard up = a poster begging for handouts and begging= probably scamming - therefore indiscriminate condemnation and scorn

Nowhere did I say or even intimate that. Stop projecting and making unfounded accusations about me

I'm sorry you are unable to see how your words may contribute to the isolation of vulnerable people, OP

And you can stop with the faux concern and passive aggressive shit.

What a lovely poster you are, slender. What contribution do you make to MN? How are you helping other posters here? How much a part of the community are you?

Zombie doesn't think we're allowed to be a community these days. Which is a great pity. IHHO.

Sadly, Zombie, I think you're right

BIWI, have my support too.
That is all, folks.

I think slenderisthenight is just trying to look super-caring. The overreaction on her/his part is needed to signal she is more caring than others on a thread that has so many Christmas Appeal participants on.

As for the Donald Trump and bigot insults aimed at BIWI, even a quick search of her name reveals a caring and supportive poster. And comparing a feminist to a male sexual predator preying on women because he can is downright nasty. But I think it was quite deliberate, because if BIWI did indeed admire Trump it wouldn't be insulting.

I think it was a lovely thing in years gone by but the site has changed, become bigger and more anonymous, so it is no longer practical.

I have contributed more than once and was happy to do so but have given to local charities for the last couple of years after having some concerns so this doesn't really surprise me and I can't say I am that bothered. Let's hope all the gifts and goodwill find their way to others who need them

BTW I can also vouch for BIWI being a good egg and not at all Trump-ish from seeing her here for years and years

I've heard BIWI has great wall building skillz though...

Hercule Poirot is married ?