... to let all you chancers know that there's no MN Secret Santa this year

[BIWI]

Mumsnet is a very different place now, compared to a few years ago, when the lovely Soapy set up the first secret Santa.

It's become a much bigger site, which obviously benefits MNHQ, but it's made a secret Santa untenable.

There have been a lot of rumblings over the last few years from people about whether we want it or not. But ultimately it's become just too big and unmanageable a job for anyone to handle.

So all you chancers who wait until this time each year to post your sob stories no longer need to bother.

Of course, slender. Whatever you say.

Well more and more I conclude you really can't cure stupid.
Agree 100% with this thread and am utterly boggled that people would hand over large sums of money and gifts on here for it to come out that they were well and truly scammed.
But hey anyone who points that out is a "mean girl" "bully" or "haterz"
So feel free , knock yourselves out
You can't cure stupid.

I won't go into why it's an odd thing to have a rule that you do not communicate with someone for absolutely no reason navy because I have a busy RL and don't have time to snipe endlessly, whether you do or not. I notice you have no concern for how this thread may have hurt and shamed vulnerable parents here who have received help in the past and now feel they can never ask again or who are now wondering if everyone was secretly judging them. That's the kind of establishment that Trump is creating, hence my pointing out the similarities in ethos. Going by the tone of your other posts, it doesn't surprise me that you are here, loving this thread. I would think there was a problem if you thought I was 'decent'.

hobs apparently you can't cure nasty, either. Bad enough to be scammed, how low to insult someone for it too.

I'm fairly new to the site. What was Secret Santa?

What does it sound like it was Agerbil? Surely you've heard of them?

I'm pretty sure it's been explained several times on this thread!

This thread is funny.

It's like all the ones where MNers with half a braincell suss within 2 posts that someone is a troll. Yet are slagged off for pages for "trollhunting". All goes very quiet though when HQ (invariably) confirm that, yes, the old timers were right, the OP was a troll.

This time, and as the plethora of threads this last few weeks have shown, the Professional Poor are out in force. And it's almost like competitive giving "OP I've PMd you "

If you were really so altruistic, you wouldn't put on the thread you've PMd her, would you? Because it wouldn't be important to let everyone see what a Pollyanna Giver of Gifts you are. But they always do. "OP, look out for a ginormous hamper in the post"

Sorry if I sounded a bit dense. Obviously I know how it works in RL but was confused how it actually works online. No need to be snarky about it, was just wondering if I could help but having read some of the other posts now realise that's not an option.

FYI - I lost my job recently but realise that there are others much worse off than myself. Thank God I'm not as cynical as some of the posters on here.

Jot criticising people for being scammed but if you go ahead and allow yourself to be scammed despite umpteen measured, corteous warnings then yes you are stupid.

Why do you think we are cynical?
Is it
A. We are mean haterz
B. We have seen people lie about all sorts in here including pretending that their child had cancer and hate to see people being scammed.
If being cynical is a crime then lock me up now.

Arf at BIWI/Trump comparison. In what actual universe ?

hob Like I said, I'm fairly new and it was a genuine question. I'm unaware of PPs that have lied about sick children on here. Yes, it's a fucking shitty thing to do, but that doesn't mean that everyone lies about these things. I've been through some serious crap in my life, but I try not to let it make me too cynical. Once that happens, I know that the arseholes have won and I may as well give up.

It's balancing caution with generosity.

There have been some awful scams in the past on here as well as regulars having collections done for them to pay for X.

It's been much better since MNHQ put the warning on begging posts and stopping the Santa was a good move. It's far better an actual charity benefit. If it's a charity that doesn't appeal, people are free to choose their own.

I think it's sad that SS is no more. I understand why, but still think it's sad. I nominated a few times - posters who had posted about difficult situations, one who had coped with a really tough deal (and still does) some who had offered really good advice to others. I am certain they were not scammers. I also donated - my budget was the money I would have spent on my dad after he died. Some years that was enough to get a small gift for each person in the household and other times it was used to send a family gift such as food or a game. Sometimes I was thanked, other times not. I just always hoped that somehow, the small gift I'd sent would help have a better Christmas than otherwise. I don't give to big charities for various reasons so this year my dad's money will be spent on flowers for the cemetery.
Like BIWI, I've noticed a sudden escalation of the 'how do I tell my kids Christmas is cancelled?' type and think some of them are so obviously hoping for a nomination. How sad that their cynicism means that posters who are truly deserving of it, Will no longer be acknowledged.

Often it's hard to tell, BestMammyEver - which is part of the problem. And I know that people often feel that they'd like to give posters the benefit of the doubt, which is truly admirable, but then wouldn't it be better if the money/gifts went to people that you know for certain are genuine?

I'm waiting with interest to see what MNHQ have up their sleeves to replace the Christmas Appeal.

I don't believe that BIWI is trying to prevent posters who are need from seeking advice or posting about their difficulties. The title of this thread is addressed to the 'chancers', and there is no doubt that there are some. Ergo, the only people who should be 'offended' by this thread are the chancers.
It's really not hard to understand imo.

The thread will lead people to refrain from posting about their financial worries out of a concern that they may be seen as a chancer, particularly if they name change to make the post.

In a time of poverty shaming in the popular press it is sad if MN becomes another place where people struggling to put food on the table are viewed with suspicion

All they have to do is take the advice and moral support given and not accept anything offered. Then they aren't after money or material goods and are therefore not a 'chancer'