... to let all you chancers know that there's no MN Secret Santa this year

[BIWI]

Mumsnet is a very different place now, compared to a few years ago, when the lovely Soapy set up the first secret Santa.

It's become a much bigger site, which obviously benefits MNHQ, but it's made a secret Santa untenable.

There have been a lot of rumblings over the last few years from people about whether we want it or not. But ultimately it's become just too big and unmanageable a job for anyone to handle.

So all you chancers who wait until this time each year to post your sob stories no longer need to bother.

Oh give over LyingWitch.

It's not about being petulant, it's about being sad for what's no longer possible.

And of course people can still do things for Woolly Hugs. You, actually, have no idea what I do for them! Or for other MNetters, come to that.

I'm allowed to express my sadness, as well as my frustration and irritation though. There's no rule against that.

BIWI, you're the one who is now criticising posters on this thread (presumably including myself) who haven't the same viewpoint as you. That's why I posted that, you've moved on from your OP.

Suggesting that people are envious or bitter is a bit much when so many did get involved. The threads that people are talking about are real, I saw them and if anything, it was the recipients/donators on those threads who tarnished what was a nice thing. It's not the scammers, in my view, people give or don't give them things. Nobody can protect people when they choose to do something for somebody they don't know and that's on them.

Of course I don't know what you do for anybody anymore than you know of what I do. Why would we know that or even care?

You can express what you like, so can anybody else.

Yeah, whatevs, Lying

Lying - I think you have missed the point. It is sad that secret santa can no longer take place due to the scammers.
That doesn't mean that posters aren't doing other things 'behind the scenes'

There are many people on mn who have been through hard times and imo they are the ones who give. I think they are more trusting because they know what it is to have struggled and don't want to think about others going through what they have. People who have struggled are more empathetic to those that they believe are in tough situations.

Look how many posters have said 'I would rather give to a scammer than ignore someone in need'

I think that is very sad because there are many posters who are struggling themselves but will still try and help others. Scammers take advantage of that.

Oh FFS. Stop slagging off BIWI.

She has said nothing that isn't true. A lot of us have noticed the same thing.

Zombie's just been a bit selfish and tied up in her own RL to have said the same thing.

Zombie - you have not been selfish. We all know the battles you have/are facing and it is lovely to see pop up on threads.

Anyone who has been on mn for a very small time will know that BIWI is a positive poster who contributes a massive amount of time and support to a variety of threads, especially lchf bootcamps. I don't think she is particularly 'needy' but I would nominate her every day for awards for what she contributes to mn, especially the boot camp threads, although I know she is more than that.
I don't do arse licking but BIWI - I SALUTE YOU for all you give to mn. I don't think people realise that you contribute your time and energy for free. And every day I see the challenges you face. My mn hero

Zombie everyone knows how much you have going on

Do woolly hugs take donations? I know what they do of course but I can't sew or craft anything for shit so I've never looked at it in much detail

I'm not 'slagging off' anybody. What an odd thing to say. I've responded to BIWI's posts on this thread and disagreed or expressed an opinion. I have no gripe with her so kindly stop exaggerating.

I don't know posters personally and don't make a point of remembering who they are. They're just fellow posters on a chatboard that I like posting alongside.

I'll leave you to your thread now.

YES pugsake - donating money to Woolly Hugs buys materials for people who are good at knitting etc and want to contribute but can't afford to buy lots of wool themselves. It's a really valuable thing to do.

Oh that's fab cheers Irene

BestMammy I've been here years and just found out about Woolley hugs

It's very noble to say 'I would rather give to a scammer than ignore someone in need' but unfortunately I can't agree.

I haven't worked this year due to mental health (this isn't a begging post don't worry) so whereas I would love to help someone in need as there is people a lot worse off then me, it's coming out my Christmas budget. If I gave to a scammer it's taking it away from someone or a charity who actually need it.

If that makes any sense at all.

It's very sad it's had to stop but I can understand why.

I had years of extreme hand to mouth living. I use to feel warm inside watching posters receiving gifts. I didn't post about how I was struggling in early days.(disabled DC and financially).

However a poster gave me great advice and even spoke on phone to me/via personal email and helped me get myself sorted. I nominated her despite not being in a position to provide a gift myself.
She kept writing how she was nominated and how she couldn't believe it.

Then things for me changed. The next year I was able to offer a gift. I often wonder how the recipient is doing (no idea why they were nominated!) as they live fairly near to me.

But this was the year that horrible thread about lack of thanks came about. I refused to read it as I didn't want thanks - just wanted to know id been able to pay forward the help and support id received from a MNer originally.

Do woolyhugs have a charity account where we can donate. I've been wanting to do that for some time. Thx

Yes, you can donate to Woolly Hugs very easily via Paypal, their website with link is here:

beta.woollyhugs.com/

What a nasty thread.

I hate this thread title. Going by the deletion message of a similar thread, MNHQ don't like the tone either.

I didn't know there was a secret santa as I wasn't a member this time last year however even I have been looking through the active board and wondering why it's seems so many posters are having such a terrible time lately, I suppose it's better that it is this reason rather than a genuine situation but still seems a shame.

It's important that some people give to individuals because many charities have exact criteria about who they can help and there isn't a chance that everyone in need is covered by a charity, let alone that every need they may have is a need that the charity would be allowed to help.

Limiting yourself to giving to people you know is not great because many people in dire need are very isolated and know only people who are also in need.

It's good that some people continue to give to individuals and are prepared to take their chances regarding authenticity. Many people are in need and I personally find it disgusting that we are making it impossible for them to state this without it being a foregone conclusion that they are likely to be lying.

The OP would get on well with Trump, I feel.

Now that really is a PA, slender And you really, really couldn't further from the truth with that insult comparison.

I'm amazed how some of you are determined to misconstrue this thread. And it saddens me greatly.

It's because of those who come here to scam well-meaning MNetters that I wrote this thread. And no, I'm not going to risk giving anything to anyone I don't trust.

I'll happily give (time/money/gifts) to other appropriate charitable causes, though.

It's because of those who come here to scam well-meaning MNetters that I wrote this thread

No. If that was the case you would not have insulted anyone in need by calling them chancers (or insinuating that anyone who asked for help is a chancer).

You would also have addressed well-meaning mumsnetters and spoken about your concerns directly, rather than addressing so-called 'chancers' (some, if not many of whom will be people who cannot afford to have Christmas).

You have already admitted you started the thread because you were frustrated with such people. When we speak out of that attitude, we usually do so to wound. And you will have achieved that. I wonder how many people you have isolated who would otherwise have asked for advice this Christmas, or simply wanted to share how difficult it is to be poor at Christmas.

You knew the sentiment you were feeding. Just like Trump does. No one is arguing that there are no scammers out there but it is far right in the extreme to insist that it's ok to talk indiscriminately about 'scammers' as if it is anyone asking for help.

And you think you are the victim because someone said you'd get on well with Trump. You're not and you're spoilt if you think so.