No children at destination wedding

[RubyRed6878]

Apologies if this should be moved to Wedding thread but think it's more suited to AIBU...

Wedding is being planned in Mexico, about 100 guests will receive invites. Before people jump on and say we're being selfish, in invites are exactly that, invites not expectations at all. We'll also be having a UK celebration so will emphasise that it would be amazing for as many friends and family to be there as possible but we totally understand if people can't / don't want to make it.

The issue: DP and I are 100% sure we do not want children at the ceremony. We've been to too many weddings / events where screaming/chattering babies / toddlers have disrupted and we are too scared to take the risk for our own day. Children are more than welcome at the reception.
The issue is DPs brother, we are 99% sure they'll come to Mexico (invites not sent yet) but I'm very nervous about saying "no children at the ceremony" considering they'll have travelled all that way. DP is determined to stay firm and insist on no kids.
WWYD? Is it totally U to ask them to put their child in the kids club for an hour or so during the ceremony? I'm nervous of backing down and then having a 2 year old screaming over our vows and wishing we'd stuck to our guns, but equally am aware of what a big ask it is to leave a young child in a hotel kids club

[BratFarrarsPony]

oh wow fame at last I have been published in the Daily Mule ....

StrongMummy I did not write anything 'racist' thank you. Check what the word means in the dictionary.

Yes Mexico will be 'mosquito ridden' and yes it is a 'weird foreign country' if you live in eg Sussex or wherever.

[fgp]

Anyone else get the feeling that the op is a daily mail journalist?

[Only1scoop]

As if

[Strongmummy]

Using derogatory terms about another country is pretty racist I'm afraid. Smacks of little Englander ignorance. My father is from one of those "weird, mosquito, ridden foreign countries" and found your comments pretty shocking. Perhaps learn to show some respect and then people wouldn't call you out.

[MummyStep123]

Not feeling comfortable leaving your child with a babysitter or kids club abroad however, doesn't make you a racist. I'd feel the same way anywhere.

[MummyStep123]

Maybe I'm paranoid and maybe it's not acceptable to say it out loud but the thought of leaving my toddler abroad rings "McCann" alarm bells to me.

[Strongmummy]

Yes, that's not racist, but ignorant! Madeleine McCann was left BY HERSELF. She just happened to be abroad.

[MummyStep123]

If you think that's ignorant then that's fine, I just wouldn't leave my child with someone I didn't know and trust, abroad or at home.

[MummyStep123]

Again, I am probably more paranoid than most. This thread has gone so way off the original topic. I think general consensus is that the question has to be put to the individuals involved, as you can clearly see every parent has different opinion. If it was me I wouldn't be offended by the request, and would be more than happy to take lo away for the ceremony and sit with her until ceremony was finished. I'd probably find that less stressful than stressing during the ceremony incase she did decide to be noisy. 2 year olds don't fully understand when to be quiet - or at least mine doesn't!

[NicknameUsed]

MummyStep That's because you care and are considerate of how your child's behaviour impacts on other people. Clearly BIL and his partner don't care.

I still think it should be spelled out to them that they are all welcome to the ceremony as long as they keep their child under control. And if he/she starts screaming they will stop proceedings until the child quietens down or is removed. Hopefully the embarrassment factor will kick in.

[BratFarrarsPony]

" My father is from one of those "weird, mosquito, ridden foreign countries" and found your comments pretty shocking. "

he found my comments 'shocking' really? Has he had a sheltered life?

My father is from a country which people do actually make genuinely racist comments about so I think you are being a tad over - sensitive. tbh.

[smellyboot]

What on earth does Madeleine McCann have to do with this?
Kids being left in holiday crèche, or hol club whilst on holiday is perfectly normal for millions of people. Some may not agree or eating to do it.
I'd be happy with that but not the cost, inconvenience and major hassle for a one hour service

[avamiah]

Smellyboot,
Yes your very right her disappearance has nothing to do with this thread.

[raymondothegreat]

I would have to say yes you are. Children are a blessing not a nuisance. I'm sure any crying babies would be taken outside as to not make a scene. Children are part of the family. I could not even imagine getting married and saying my niece and nephew's couldn't come.if my sister was getting married and she told me I couldn't bring my children. Id be very pissed off and I probably think "fuck you then" and not go

[Florathefern]

Children aren't necessarily a blessing to everyone. I really hate the assumption that we should all be delighted in their company. I really don't like other people's kids. I tolerate them but I don't find them cute or interesting or sweet. They are loud, time consuming, and very often a non stop interruption to a conversation. I quite like my own kids (most of the time) but I wouldn't be under any illusion that other people like them.

For the OP I think expecting or hoping others (for why else would one hundred people be asked along) will travel a long distance and then ask them to either skip the ceremony that they flew thousands of miles to attend, to sit outside with their children or alternatively leave their children with strangers is unreasonable and is not something one I'd be happy to do.