AIBU to hate strangers around DD

[Islacornx]

My DD is 6 months now and from day 1 I have hated the constant strangers coming up to my DD in her pram on walks/shops etc..
I don't mind people smiling or saying hello. It's when I literally have to stop what I'm doing while they try and have a conversation with my baby for ten minutes. Yes I know people like babies and they are cute but I'd rather they admired from afar rather than made me stop for so long. I always find it quite awkward and don't know what to do with myself as it's not me they are actually interacting with at all. And don't get me started on if they try and hold her hands and touch her face
AIBU?

[Crispyturtle]

Toffee1000 most of the talking is directed to the baby, you just smile and say thank you.

[ilovesooty]

I suppose you could wear a sandwich board saying "Please don't interact with the baby"

[welshgirlwannabe]

Aw, in the shop today ds1 was making the baby shriek with laughter in the trolley, and everyone stopped to smile and say how cute he is. It's nice. It's sociable. It's part of our human nature even! I like it.

Often though the baby will decide to just stare blankly at someone, which always feels awkward as they're forced to cootchy coo at him. You never see threads about that! Is it just my baby who does that??

[1Potato2]

In a few short years no one will bother. You might actually miss it

[maddiemookins16mum]

I know what you mean Welshgirl, I actually made a baby cry once - I was behind him in the queue at the till, he was in the seat of the trolley, his mum was packing the shopping, Our eyes met, I cooed at him (no touching obviously), smiled and his little face just dissolved into tears. I think I looked away so I didn't get the blame 😳😳

[Lutrine]

No one does this to my 12 wo, I think I have a resting bitch face. I do often get people saying "aw!" when I'm out walking the dog with DD in a sling but it's usually directed at the dog!

[grumpymcgrumpypants]

As an adopter, who is trying to teach my baby stranger awareness (as any nice person coming along could then take them home forever, in their experience) 'nice' people damaging my attempts to help my child function in the normal world do get my goat.

[Musicinthe00ssucks]

As an adopter, who is trying to teach my baby stranger awareness (as any nice person coming along could then take them home forever, in their experience) 'nice' people damaging my attempts to help my child function in the normal world do get my goat.

[DearMrDilkington]

Statistically a family member or close friend is more likely to harm your dd than a stranger.

They don't need to touch her face though, that's a bit weird. Maybe warn people that she's a biter when they get too close

[MycatsaPirate]

This is such a sad thread. I talk to babies, toddlers, small kids ALL the time!

Everywhere I go I see mums/dads with children. I interact with them, I pull silly faces to make them laugh, I talk to them or smile at them. I talk to the parents. I talk to older people in the queue because I'm aware that I may be the only person they talk to at all.

I miss those days of walking about with a baby in a trolley (especially DD1 who was an utter social butterfly). I loved stopping to have a chat with people who would chat to DD and complement her on her smile or whatever.

And twice recently I've been in a waiting room (hospital and doctors) and there have been small kids who have wandered over towards me and smiled and I've said hello. And both times the parent has apologised for their child being a nuisance. In what way is a kid saying hello being a nuisance?

Utterly sad. I love that where I live is mostly occupied with lovely people who are happy for me to make their baby giggle or have a chat with a toddler or for me to let their young dc put veg in a bag for me because they just want to help.

And who the fuck teaches stranger danger to a baby? Seriously???

[manandbeast]

Congratulations - you wrote tonight's most depressing post

[WilliamHerschel]

I'm not a people person and I'm not a small talk person but I thought it was nice when people came and looked at baby dd. Now she's a toddler people still smile at her and she loves waving and say bye when they go. It takes a few seconds that's all. It's just friendliness.

[kipkipkip]

Often though the baby will decide to just stare blankly at someone, which always feels awkward as they're forced to cootchy coo at him. You never see threads about that! Is it just my baby who does that??

Haha my dd LOVES a good stare.

[HerRoyalFattyness]

I don't do peopling. I hate it.
But I am polite and secretly chuffed when people admire my DC. I still have people admiring DS1 who is 8 and telling me what a lovely, polite helpful boy he is, what a good job I've done. It's awesome.
I also get stopped a lot because people think I've got twins. There's 19 months between them but they wear the same size clothes. Then I get told I'm superwoman for having such a small gap

[grumpymcgrumpypants]

Musicinthe00ssucks Look up attachment theory, and then perhaps you'll understand why people shouldn't talk to babies they don't know, especially if adopted.

I would gladly wear a sandwich board saying "don't touch my baby". It's what's best for my baby. I wish people would get the message as I move away from them.

[grumpymcgrumpypants]

I'm not talking about "stranger danger"!

I'm talking about stranger anxiety, which a securely attached child learns automatically.

An adopted child needs to be taught attachment, and to not just go off with just anyone.

If they're not taught that, then they can have a lifetime of poor attachments and relationships.

Who wants that for their child?

[SleepFreeZone]

I used to enjoy this! It's a shame you don't. Don't worry as once they get past the baby stage you will have the same strangers giving you looks of disapproval and eye rolling when they are throwing themselves on the floor screaming 😊

[YoJesse]

I've always loved it when people coo over your baby or make an effort to chat to your toddler. Until recently I lived in an area with lots of African people and if a kid is crying or throwing a shit fit in the street the older women would intervene in a really nice and helpful way. I miss that now I'm living in the middle of nowhere and everyone keeps themselves to themselves

[SukeyTakeItOffAgain]

What ilovesooty said.

What a sad society we have become.

[toffee1000]

I wasn't trying to be horrible in my pp. I just do find it really hard to talk to people and carry on a conversation. I know I'm in the minority on here though. I wouldn't be horrible to people IRL obviously. I know it's friendliness but I just feel awkward with strangers. Maybe I'm just pre-warning/informing you all

[Musicinthe00ssucks]

Musicinthe00ssucks Look up attachment theory, and then perhaps you'll understand why people shouldn't talk to babies they don't know, especially if adopted.

I would gladly wear a sandwich board saying "don't touch my baby". It's what's best for my baby. I wish people would get the message as I move away from them.

Good God! Here, take this grip; it looks like you're going to need it.

[kipkipkip]

I love it when people coo over my baby and more importantly DD loves it! An older lady was chatting to her and she said to me "I never know whether to say hello, some mums don't like it", I thought she was just being paranoid but clearly not.

[Musicinthe00ssucks]

Thanks for that gurmpy twat or whatever your name is. I'll sign off as you do sound properly unhinged. Best of luck to you

[grumpymcgrumpypants]

Not unhinged. Just know more about adopting children than you do.