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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to hate strangers around DD

162 replies

Islacornx · 04/11/2016 14:22

My DD is 6 months now and from day 1 I have hated the constant strangers coming up to my DD in her pram on walks/shops etc..
I don't mind people smiling or saying hello. It's when I literally have to stop what I'm doing while they try and have a conversation with my baby for ten minutes. Yes I know people like babies and they are cute but I'd rather they admired from afar rather than made me stop for so long. I always find it quite awkward and don't know what to do with myself as it's not me they are actually interacting with at all. And don't get me started on if they try and hold her hands and touch her face Angry Angry
AIBU?

OP posts:
Ahickiefromkinickie · 04/11/2016 15:45

OP, if you had done a search, you world have seen this AIBU has already been done to death.

And it never ends well.

maddiemookins16mum · 04/11/2016 15:47

I'd have more sympathy if you'd not exagerrated.

Costacoffeeplease · 04/11/2016 15:51

I don't mind people smiling or saying hello

Gosh that's big of youHmm

Mirrorballfrog · 04/11/2016 15:52

I think you need to chill out a bit.

LaundryQueenHatesIroning · 04/11/2016 16:02

I don't think you should have to put up with anything you are not happy with OP, it's all well and good other people saying they like it, good for them, but you don't and that's fine, you don't owe strangers anything, no matter how lonely or lovely they might be.

It's true though, I was exactly the same as you and hated it (the touching, not the talking really though) but now DS is a boisterous 11 month old they don't want to know any more, so at least you won't have to fend them off for much longer!

CarrieLouise25 · 04/11/2016 16:03

Exactly Laundry.

kaitlinktm · 04/11/2016 16:04

I am that mad old woman who loves to admire babies. I try to only engage the parent when it's dead time like in a queue. I tell them how gorgeous their baby is and to make the most of these times because they don't last five minutes - honestly. I never touch their babies and only talk to them if they are engaging with me - who can ignore a smiling baby - or even a serious one? I offer help with pushchairs if needed (usually it isn't).

Thirty years ago I was a Mum with a baby too - I loved it when they were admired. Now I am in my sixties and it looks more and more like I will never be a grandma - so let me admire your babies. I'm harmless after all.

Marmalade85 · 04/11/2016 16:09

YABVVVVVVU and ridiculous. Get over yourself.

BillSykesDog · 04/11/2016 16:17

I have twins and I get this all the time. TBH I actually rather like it, but I can understand how if someone had a bit of PND or was just feeling a bit sensitive and like they couldn't be assertive it might be draining.

If you need to move on, just say 'Say bye, bye' to the baby then look up, smile and say goodbye then just move on. Works a charm.

BillSykesDog · 04/11/2016 16:18

That's really horrible Marmalade.

JustHereIGuess · 04/11/2016 16:26

Very horrible Marmalade85

Minesril · 04/11/2016 16:26

Mine's two. He still gets smiled at. But he has glasses and is adorable.

Marmalade85 · 04/11/2016 16:36

OP is getting annoyed with people being nice to her baby and I'm the horrible one?

helpimitchy · 04/11/2016 16:53

This is really sad. I love seeing babies and it's a natural human instinct to want to interact Sad

I used to be as pleased as punch when somebody admired mine. Happy days.

Musicinthe00ssucks · 04/11/2016 17:00

Wow. I used to feel so proud when people stopped me to complement my babies. Always smiled and always said "thank you". I can't believe some people resent even a kind word to others these days. You sound incredibly self absorbed and precious. Believe me no one will be interested in your child this times next year.

Strawberrybonbons16 · 04/11/2016 17:22

I get this a lot too, DD is 5 months. I was never one to stop someone with a baby, but have found a lot of people do. It's nicer than them scowling when she's crying...some have managed to get a smile even just by talking to her when she's screaming the shop down haha!! I think it genuinely brightens some people's otherwise mundane day when they see a cheeky, smiling baby Smile

Imchangingmyname · 04/11/2016 17:27

You know this happens to everyone with a little baby, don't you? For some reason you come across like you think you're a special snowflake and, if you're not careful, your DC will end up the same.

You need to think about getting over yourself.

glueandstick · 04/11/2016 17:35

I love strangers stopping to talk to mine. It lets my brain run off on its own for a few mins and I don't have to be interactive and stimulating.

Older people love having a squish and a chat. Waitrose 10am is prime time. Some must be very lonely and what is a few moments of my day to chat to them?

pilates · 04/11/2016 17:39

YABU

I found it had the reverse effect on me, it actually cheered me up and made me feel proud.

glueandstick · 04/11/2016 17:52

Today someone complimented me on my parenting and said I was a lovely mother. I was puffed up like a chilly pigeon. Felt proper proud Grin

MarchEliza2 · 04/11/2016 18:26

Yabu. My DD is now 20 months and we routinely attract a virtual entourage of old ladies at garden centres etc. I love it.

Crispyturtle · 04/11/2016 19:20

I get annoyed if we walk past an old lady and they don't admire DD, once or twice all the time I have even deliberately loitered near an old lady to give them opportunity to coo Blush. God I bloody love it, makes me feel like a celebrity Grin

Crispsheets · 04/11/2016 19:23

You sound like a miserable fucker.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 04/11/2016 19:28

No disrespect, but. I've never known anyone to poke their head in a pram and bill and coo over a random baby
People tend to coo at kittens and puppies..

toffee1000 · 04/11/2016 19:38

Bloody hell. As a very introverted person, who finds it very hard to talk to people and doesn't like being the centre of attention, this situation sounds like an absolute nightmare. Judging by the replies here I should probably just never have kids, or just stay in my house until they're a year old. Some people just do not like talking to strangers, not because they're stuck up cows but because they are incredibly shy. So is that it? Should I stay childless?

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