To think that if you become a childminder you should not just take 'easy' children

[Introvertedbuthappy]

I go back to work in December and decided on a childminder to look after my baby for the three days a week I'll be working. As I started looking in September I was asked to pay £150 a month until then to hold the place (1 day a week's fees) and as part of that could obviously use that day as childcare (as it was already being paid for). All fine.
Since then he has been there 3.5 days (CM wanted to cut one day short to go on holiday at a day's notice). On Tuesday she called to say that she will no longer look after my 6.5 month old as he is 'a difficult baby', 'cries a lot' and 'needs a lot of attention'. She also described an incident where her 3 year old got so frustrated with my son's crying her child 'screamed in his face, which was distressing not only for yoyr son, but myself and my daughter'. She has 'never seen a baby like it' (not in a positive way).
I am both devastated and angry. He is generally a happy chap, does like a lot of stimulation, but is happy to roll around/jump in his jumparoo/chase a pack of wipes round, but does obviously need to be picked up sometimes (ie like a typical baby). He doesn't sleep much but is generally not grumpy with it.
I'm upset about a number of things - the screaming incident, the language used about my son to turn down the contract and the fact I've pissed £150 down the drain to hold a place I can't take up.
So, AIBU or should she have attempted to settle him better before branding him a 'difficult' baby?

I think you and your child have had a lucky escape!

Did you check her qualifications? Do a background check? References?

Something doesn't sound right.....

I can understand why you're upset and especially having spent all of that money holding a place. I think you should be entitled to a refund. With regard to minding children that may require more attention I don't know what the 'rules' are but a childminder will have received training. Maybe she realised that she couldn't spread her attention as much which is really crappy for you but probably a blessing in disguise as she obviously isn't the right person for your child.

That happened to me, except she got her husband to ring at 10.30 at night, when I had work the next day! I reported her to Social Services...it would be OFSTED now, and they found she had been unprofessional and breached her own contract. She was put on a warning so any other issues meant she would lose her registration. That gives you the satisfaction of causing her some grief, but they are self-employed and can set their own ground rules. Let's face it, in most areas demand outstrips supply so they can do what they want

Report her to ofsted . Her behaviour is unprofessional and suspicious .

Yes, a CM does have to be free to end a contract....and not every CM will suit every child and vv. However, allowing enough time and giving some notice seems professional behaviour and a notice period would usually be written into a contract. It really isn't acceptable to turn up on a Friday and be told the service is finishing there and then - in t same way that a parent shouldn't turn up on a Friday and say their child won't be coming again, without expecting to pay for the notice period.

I agree that they are not skivvies. Most CM behave in a professional and responsible way with regard to establishing clear contracts and sticking to the agreement including notice periods. Regarding childcare CM usually have an appreciation that working families will be left with huge difficulties if no notice is given and that is why notice periods are built into contracts.

Those who behave as the OPs CM has lead people to believe that childminding is not a serious job, carried out by people who have skills and the ability to manage their own small business operation. When I hear about incidents like this, I don't think the CM is a skivvy, but I do think she was unprofessional in her timing and handling of the contract end - and that's part of the reason why some people choose nurseries. They think that they will receive a more reliable service run professionally and by people who won't let them down and leave them in the lurch. The one big downside with CM is that as a parent you are extremely dependent on that one person.....and if they turn out to be flaky, or to basically dump you in it with no notice, you really can be up the creek.
I think the OPS CM has given CM a bad name. Most are not like her at all.

She sounds awful. Demand your money back.

Get rid of her asap - she shouldn't be looking after children at all if a 6 month old can be difficult in her eyes - what does she want, that he's sedated? Sounds horrendous and keep well away from her. There will be nothing wrong with your baby, but there's plenty wrong with her and she needs a different job

It's her business to pick and choose her clients. But from what you've described, if I were you I would be thankful that she's done this early, before any harm came to your son from her or her screaming daughter!

Not all childminders get on with all children so don't take it personally that it didn't work out this time. Hope you find a good replacement for her.

Introvertedbuthappy no, I certainly didn't mean to imply that you weren't justified in being unhappy and I'm sorry you picked up that message from my post. Thank you for explaining, Wombat.

As I said, she doesn't appear to have handled it well at all.
The mum of my current mindee was distraught at the thought that her child wasn't wanted by the nursery. It's a horrible feeling and really knocks your confidence in your child. Hopefully you and your son will be happier with the new setting and he will quickly settle.

I would also consider reporting this to Ofsted - the thing that rang alarm bells with me was that the CM wasn't able to manage a crying baby and her own 3 year old, who ended up shouting in your babies face - by her own omission. Sounds incompetent and unable to cope to me - babies crying is perfectly normal. I would also mention the lack of notice and fact that not everything was clearly contracted.

You might like to mention to the CM that you are considering reporting this - be clear that it will be about the facts she reported about the situation that arose when your child was in her care. Whether it is more important to you to get the money back (she may well give it back at the point of you saying you are reporting) or whether you think she is incompetent to look after children can determine if you do report. Consider if she hadn't ended this, would you be happy still for your child to be with her, having heard her reports on their 3 days? Ultimately your child care and safety are the key things.....the money and being let down are annoying, but getting out of an inappropriate setting is more important.

A similar thing happened with my DS1- although the childminder behaved much more professionally. The cm couldn't look after him because he was a high needs / 'spirited' baby.

I do empathise with how upset you are. In my case, I felt it was a rejection of my baby . Although I did not like the idea initially, I put DS in a nursery, where he did fine. There was plenty of stimulation and the care was spread between several staff, so the higher needs babies could be attended to more easily. It all worked out fine for us but I still remember how tough that time was. Sympathies

The OP is not in England so reporting to Ofsted is pointless.

This is turning in to a 'cancel the cheque' thread.

Firstly, she needs to refund you. She chose not to look after your baby. So she needs to pay that back.

However, as a freelancer, she does have the right to choose her clients. As a freelance photographer, I can turn down jobs that I don't want and take on jobs I do. It's part of freelancing.

Sorry for you though. Thats tough to hear and a weight on your mind as you're looking for a new childminder. Hopefully you'll find a more patient childminder that works with your son a little better.

All child minders will be registered with the council and ofsted. Complain to both of them and get her investigated.

Fuck me!

SHE'S NOT REGISTERED WITH OFSTED.

The OP says she only registered with the CC last year. I'm guessing CC = Care Commission, which is the old name for the Care Inspectorate which is the Scottish regulator

If that's the case then no, she's not registered with Ofsted!

Sory NickNacks, misunderstoof your post in my irritation at all the "report to Ofsted" posts.

Actually I would report to local authority and to ofsted and formally write asking for money back.

Annoying, isn't it sc?

Okay, report to CC or whatever the equivalent of Ofsted is. The point is clearly being made that perhaps OP should report to whoever you appropriate regulator is....does it particularly matter if they are called a ofsted or something else?

So she's basically blamed your 6.5month old baby for her being crap at her job? How awful. Some children take a while to settle in, 3.5 days is nothing! It's her job to make your child feel comfortable and she's given up straight away.
I think it's a blessing in disguise, you wouldn't want someone like that looking after your baby anyway..
Leave her bad reviews.

The Care Inspectorate wouldn't consider this a complaint IME. They don't regulate contractual issues , they're there to ensure that the quality of care is ok and there's nothing the OP has said which suggests that the actual care was complaint worthy - just that it ceased when she didn't want it to.

Yes it does matter. Regardless, it's. It a reportable matter. Real safeguarding situations are happening every day and serious breaches are made which need investigating. This isn't even an issue which they would be interested in. Just because you think it is, doesn't mean it is.

The OP may well consider that there is a care issue here. I agree that they won't be very interested in contract issues.
The thing that rang alarm bells for me was the CM saying that she hadn't been able to cope with a 6 month old baby crying and her own 3 year old screaming in the babies face - that's the childminders omission - it hardly sounds like someone able to manage a couple or several children. This is what might be worth reporting.
However, the OP should only report if she has genuine concerns about the quality of the care - not because she is annoyed at the contract end, which isn't the remit of ofsted or CC or whoever.

What an awful situation. You're poor little lad. Be glad you're out of it. Write a letter to Ofstead just to let them know she's done that. (Not to mention letting a situation get so far out of control that a toddler screams in a baby's face.)