to feel discriminated against at work for not having children???

[chicdiana1980]

I was accidentally copied into an email at work yesterday and I am really thinking about going to some kind of tribunal about this. I was feeling p*ssed off already but this is the tip of the iceburg!

to give you a background, I work for a fairly small company, office based. Pretty much everyone else in the office has children, and they are mostly young children. I don't have any children, and I am happy with this, but I feel like I get the brunt of it at work.

It seems like noone ever questions people when they take extra time off if they just say it's because of their children. Mostly it's leaving early pretty much every day to pick up children from school. Others who don't do this have 'parents evenings' or school plays or things, or get in late after the 'school run,' always laughing about how it's so stressful and that's I'm lucky. Sick days when the children are sick - how is this fair? Sick days are for the employee, not for employee and any family.

There has to be cover for the whole day, so it is usually me who ends up having to stay until the end, or get in early, so that someone is there. I regularly have to stay late as the colleagues who fly off at 3:30 to school leaves work that needs to be done. They say that they make it up in the mornings or at other times, but it's really no help.

Anyway, this has been going on for years now and I got to the stage where I thought I would just have to accept it as one of those things. But I was copied into an email (accidentally) which was obviously a round robin which had been going around my colleagues and the last person sent it to the entire office, not just their 'select group' (the select group being pretty much everyone but me). They were talking about who was going to be leaving early - and essentially they all were, leaving someone to say 'so who's gonna cover until the end ;),' and the last person said 'guess who. it's not like she has anything else to do anyway!'

I am seriously furious about this. I don't work Wednesdays but I am seriously considering going straight to ACAS or someone (our office is so small there is no real HR department) to make a complaint about this. I have been in tears for most of the morning - but before I do anything, would it be unreasonable to do this?

It's clear that's not what's happening here, though, isn't it?

Don't respond to the email! Make a copy and engage an employment lawyer if you plan on going down the legal route due to stress, bullying etc.

I can relate to your OP. I experienced a similar culture in my last place. It's fairly common having to pick up the slack when people take the piss as opposed to those who genuinely have unexpected family / childcare issues.

How bloody nasty op. Have you an elderly mother who now needs more care?

They are behaving outrageously and taking the piss. Your manager is crap. Do they have a manager you could speak to? Or whoever owns the business? You have grounds for a grievance but in the first instance should seek to resolve it informally. Take the email to your boss and say you are aggrieved and you expect them to take action. Be clear what action you want taking. Make notes of everything, dates times who said what.
You don't have a tribunal case.
I would look for another job.
And I would start saying no to things. Don't be the office doormat.

I have kids and it sounds like they take the piss!. Can you refuse to do extra to cover them? If it's not in your contract they can't make you.

First off all stop doing extra work what they leave behind. If they dont do it then it doesnt get done.

I would reply to the email and say "Thank you for informing me that you expect me to pick up the slack. If you are unable to do your own work due to home commitments that you have chosen to have then your work will not get done. Under no circumstances will i be covering or doing any other work other than my own. Good day "

Employers have a legal obligation to consider flexible working and parental leave for parents - people who aren't parents don't have these same rights

It sounds like your employer is happy to be an accommodating flexible employer with an understanding of the extra demands on employees who are parents. Many are.

The email wasn't very nice - complain about it by all means - , but if your attitude at work is like the one you are projecting here, well I'm not surprised.

I'd be fuming and I have 2DC. I work reduced hours due to the DC but also get reduced pay. I have only ever taken 1/2 day off when one child was actually sick in school, in 5 years yet some seem to have their kids off constantly.
Mine are in breakfast and after school club when I am working full days.
Sounds like the OP office has become a free for all.
Sounds like other workers having the company for a ride, getting paid FT and working PT.
Where ever I have ever worked, a full day is 7-8 hours not 9.30-3.30
I have never known people being free to swan in after drop off and pick up at 3.30
I'd personally take up a hobby (or claim to ) that means that you simply leave at your allocated finish time and walk out.
I'd also complain that I was doing 37 hours and yet others only about 30 etc
Only your manager can change it or you leave

I agree with TaterTots you need to secure this email NOW print a copy but also forward it your personal email and take photos of the screen on your phone. No doubt if they think you're going to kick up a fuss the email will disappear due to 'system errors'.

I agree.

Also stop doing any 'extra' work they leave. It's their work, they should do it.

Send a copy to yourself, then reply to all,saying " did you mean to be so rude?" Go above managers head and take a few days off sick with stress

and no you aren't being discriminated against

It seems like noone ever questions people when they take extra time off if they just say it's because of their children.
This is not your business.

Sick days when the children are sick - how is this fair? Sick days are for the employee, not for employee and any family.
Again this is absolutely none of your business - and good employers are often happy for employees/parents to take sick leave for sick children. Who do you think is going to look after the sick children?

Who does the early and late cover on a Wednesday when you're not there?

It does sound like a complete and utter piss take but I'm not sure why you still turn up early every morning and stay late every evening to accommodate them? Surely you should just do one or the other and, if questioned, say "sorry, I've already done my hours" and leave.

Yes, juggling work & children can be hard (I have three DCs) but if you are employed to do a job, you have to do that job. It's great that your employer offers flexibility, but common decency tells you that everyone has to be fair about things! Just because you have no DCs doesn't mean you have nowhere else you'd rather be.

Their attitude is completely shit, and I can completely see why you're furious. However, I'm confused about how your hours work. Are you all supposed to be there, say, 9-5 but a lot of them leave at 3.30 and you stay until 5? If so then I can see how that's infuriating, but it's going to be hard to argue that you're directly suffering from this - you're just working your hours, while they work less than theirs. Or is it more like, everyone works eight hours a day, but the phones needing covering 7-7, and you end up doing both the early and late stuff? If so then that's completely unacceptable, and here the clear solution is a rota: everyone should be doing their share, rather than it just being decided on an ad hoc day by day basis.

This isn't really relevant but: you don't work Wednesdays? So you work part-time? I wonder whether they equate your (unpaid!) 'time off' with their (paid) early finishes, etc. and think it all comes out the same? If so, then that might again need clarifying with an actual, official division of labour.

If full-timers can legitimately leave at half three then I'd start doing just that. Not every day, but once a week or so. Play them at their own game, within the rules of your company.

And yes, take it higher and start looking for a new job.

That's just so crappy. I agree with others. Speak to your manager. Highlight you feel you are doing a number of late covers and wish to use the flexible working policy as others do.
Do you have to agree to cover or is it just assumed? If there is no set plans I would just get in early and get up at 3:30 to walk out. If challenged I would explain i had plans. Rinse and repeat. Your plans are of no concern to them but you are working within the guidelines you have set down in your contract.

'Thanks a bunch' should suffice as a reply to all. I'd be looking for another job too, because it sounds endemic.

The email wasn't very nice - complain about it by all means - , but if your attitude at work is like the one you are projecting here, well I'm not surprised.

The OP has had 'no attitude' on here.

She has been 'used' by co workers and is rightly pissed off.

If they're leaving at 3.30 each day and not doing their contracted hours I'd be fuming. I leave early but do compressed hours so my day starts at 5.30am. To be honest where I work it's the younger child-free ones who take the piss more as those with kids like me are keen to show that we appreciate the flexible working we've been given!

People who aren't parents DO have the right to request flexible working. That was changed years ago, thankfully.

OP, stop doing it. I did a few years ago and it's lovely! Oh, you need to get to parents evening evening? I need to get to body pump! Don't let them take the piss out of you.

I must have missed the legislation stating you can skive your contracted hours and fake your time sheets once you become a parent then . Are you a fellow piss taker? I can't imagine why else you'd think it's ok for someone to cover others work when they're skiving off.

Or bemorepanda actually works in your office op and is afraid their skiving days are over

Employers have a legal obligation to consider flexible working and parental leave for parents - people who aren't parents don't have these same rights

This is incorrect-anyone can request flexible working.

The op doesn't sound like she had an attitude problem. You on the other hand...

I would print the email out, and set a meeting with your boss to discuss it. Try not to sound angry (it will TOTALLY disarm them if you smilingly remark that you are all for accomodating families but...). Make concrete suggestions: eg that the parents who want to leave early should create a rota among themselves so that no more than X number leave early at any given time. And that time sheets be checked more fairly so that full hours are worked or else you, too, get some time off in compensation for covering extra work. You can mention that you find the direct reference to you insulting, but don't emphasize that too much. Sounds like your manager needs to call an office-wide meeting including all the parents and you: as soon as they reread what they sent they will get the point that they were very unreasonable!

if your attitude at work is like the one you are projecting here, well I'm not surprised.

What on earth are you talking about? She doesn't have an "attitude."