AIBU: There is a special place in hell....

[VivienneWestwoodsKnickers]

For people who....

Chew with their mouths open
Bite spoons or forks
Don't turn off the keypress noises on their mobiles. "beep beep beep beep beep" when texting

Unreasonable? I call those basic manners.

What about you? Who would you send to the firey depths of hell?

lighthearted post

Men who scratch their scrotums through their pockets in public. Yes, I mean you, FatherEquites.
Customers who use cell phones whilst I wait on them.
Children who use scooters at museums, or anywhere indoors.
People who stare into frozen food or refrigerated shelves as though Prince Harry might suddenly appear. Just pick a carton of yogurt and move on, please!

People who "

sniff - especially enraging whilst in cinema or theatre .....
Clatter cutlery against bowls or plates
Do not pay enough attention to personal hygiene I.e. smell
Chomp food or indeed make any noise at all whilst eating
Smokers especially those vape machines - yeuk!
Crackle crisps bags when they are clearly empty

People who:
-Use parent and child parking spots for waiting while passengers shop

• use parent and child parking spots when they are clearly on their own and can't be annoyed walking the extra five steps from the row of clear parking spots
• generally people using parent and child parking spots when they don't have a child with them leaving me to try and squeeze a baby in a car seat, a toddler who thankfully hasn't figured out how to vacate car seat alone and clumsy 5 year old who can't get out of the car until the door is ready to SnapBack on itself, all without having a nervous breakdown
• random people trying to touch a baby/pregnant belly
• mouth breathers
• loud chewers
• people who chew like farm yard animals
• slow walkers
• people who think prams give them the right of way
• people who think prams or wheelchairs are invisible

I could go on but it's making me realise how much I hate people haha

People who just stop dead.

Usually at the top/bottom of an escalator or just inside a shop.

Or people who get on the bus and stand right at the front, so no-one can get by. (students mostly)

Drivers who go to pick someone up, and sit outside 'tooting' instead or ringing the doorbell.

"People who get huffy when you ask to sit down on a train seat that their bag is resting on."

Similarly, those who sit in the aisle seat and huff when you ask to sit down. I don't mind which seat, just don't think you can get away with trying to hog both. But then I deliberately go for those people, or the bag ones, rather than the nice people who leave space. I tend to think the nice people should get the benefit rather than the hoggers...

People who eat noisy food in cinemas and theatres, in particular people who unwrap sweets from noisy wrappers veeeeeeeeery slooooooooowly because they thing it will be quieter, when all it does is prolong the noise.
People who leave chewing gum on any surface, including the ground.
Anyone who thinks it is OK to generate an unpleasant smell around themselves which other people can't avoid (smoke, sickly vapour, BO, garlic etc, I'm not fussy about what the smell is) in public.

Cyclists who cycle two or three abreast on the road, meaning that the cars behind them have to go at 2 mph or go into oncoming traffic to get past them.

Horseriders who don't acknowledge when you creep past them and don't rev your engine. I get that they are there by right and my car and I are only there by licence, but its no reason to be fucking rude.

Anyone who makes horrible sounds while eating or drinking.

People who comment on my son. Yes, he has blond hair. Yes, he's tall for his age. Now fuck off and be on your way.

People who enjoy looking at accidents on the road.

People who argue in spirals rather than straight lines. Drives me CRAZY.

People who ALWAYS make any conversation about themselves.

My sister.

I am sure there are more...

People who drive way below speed limit.

People who say 'of' instead of 'have'. Or 'jamped/jampt' instead 'jumped'.

Dog shit anywhere.

People that just barge into my toddler. No matter what you think, you don't actually own the pavement and occasionally you may have to share it, even with a small person. And whilst I'll do my best not to stand in your way, if you try to shove him I'll shove back!

It is safer for cyclists to cycle two abreast. It says so in the highway code.

Dickheads that walk into the road when I'm driving round a corner when there is a pedestrian crossing about 10 feet away!

People who don't write thank you letters or even email - off my list.
People who get to check out and gosh, where's my card and store card? was I really shopping? Did I need to make sure I had them both before embarking on this adventure? Oh, and I had a discount voucher somewhere ....... only if under 80.

Drivers/passengers who open doors without checking who is coming up behind them from cyclist to child on scooter to buggy. I was that person once, never again.

People who ignore speed limits. -30mph can save a person. It's there for a reason, numpty. People texting as they drive.

People who get out of planning regs including developers
Developers who put up appalling buildings and just take the money and run when a bit of thought would have made those developments better for people and easier to live with.

I'll just go off and bite someone or the list would never stop.

People who get their petrol then sit in the car fancying around for ages despite the queue behind them

People who think the check out person is the perfect long conversation opportunity

People who eat all their popcorn in the cinema before the film starts. Not sure why but this really fucks me off 😂

People

People who slam car doors at night, toot their horns to say goodbye, park on the pavement, use mobiles while driving, people who don't indicate, people who swear in front of children, people who can't use cutlery properly, people with that string of saliva between their lips when they talk, people with bad shoes, people who use their phones getting on a bus/at a checkout (fucking rude), stingy tippers, people who don't say please/thank you, people who let off fireworks at any other time than 5th Nov & Divali. Everybody basically, I have a lot of pet peeves!!

Hi toodles, I've seen your similar trolling posts on other threads tonight. Enjoy your deletion when it comes.

And I love a bit of anal action xxxxxxx

People who let their, off lead (and therefore out of control) dog, bound towards my, on lead and in control BUT dog nervous, doggie boy whilst simultaneously shouting 'it's ok he/she's friendly! Wankers.
People who press the bell on the bus more than once when the light up sign clearly says STOPPING.
People who think it's ok to let their DC kick the back of your seat for the whole of a thirteen hour flight cos, well, cos they're just kids innit? Hell awaits you.

Oh yeah, people who don't understand the word Lighthearted.

People who are surprised when you're not delighted when they correct you patronisingly (mil I'm looking at you...)
People who can't stop themselves for starting practically every sentence with 'you should...' Or 'you ought to...' You ought to shut the fuck up!!

People who let their kids scoot around the supermarket and kick off if you object (such as if they run into your ankle) - inevitably following it with 'Have you got kids, eh, eh ,eh?' Or 'He's only four, what do you expect?'. People who let 9 or 10 year olds sit in the trolley and be wheeled around the supermarket. Pensioners who go shopping at midday, chat and tell their life story and medical ailments with the cashier and then dig around for 5 minutes looking for their purse, which is inside another bag inside their big bag, inside their tartan shopping trolley, and THEN insist on counting out the EXACT change for the tin of catfood and pint of milk.

People who are in a queue in Greggs and on the phone, and when they get to the front of the queue, put a finger up as if to say 'Sorry you will have to wait until I have finished this call before I tell you what I want'. People whose first action after getting out of the train/bus/car is to check their phone whilst walking slowly along the narrow pavement and causing a huge tailback.

I could go on.

For people like the op.
Always criticising people.

The noise might give assurances to someone typing

You don't know how they were brought up, they might have issues with their mouth closing. I know someone whose top and bottom teeth don't meet.

People who stop dead in the middle of a crowded fucking street then have the nerve to tut if you walk into them.