AIBU: There is a special place in hell....

[VivienneWestwoodsKnickers]

For people who....

Chew with their mouths open
Bite spoons or forks
Don't turn off the keypress noises on their mobiles. "beep beep beep beep beep" when texting

Unreasonable? I call those basic manners.

What about you? Who would you send to the firey depths of hell?

lighthearted post

Dog poo baublers
Spitting
Facebook Drama Queens - usually accompanied by the obligatory "Inbox me Hun" post
Drivers who do 35mph no matter what the speed limit is.
People who pass me so bloody close that they kick my walking stick out from under me (I especially love the ones who then tut as if it's my fault).
People basically doing ANYTHING other than talking normally on their mobile phones in public. I don't want to hear your music, your conversations with friends, your business meetings, your games or anything. Also, if you are walking around with your headphones on and you are holding your phone in your hand like a waiter holding a tray, not only do you look like a Class A prat, you are asking for it to get nicked or broken.
Oblivious headphone wearers.
Casual racists. If someone is an out and out racist, you know where you stand with them (as far away as possible usually), but the casual ones can lull you into a false sense of security before revealing their inner dumb-arsedness. They also tend to make baffling statements like this one I heard the other day - "He's Asian but he's funny." Eh?????

I feel much better now.

Loud male breathers in a mixed Pilates class. I should leave the class relaxed, I dont. Bloody attention seeking pests.

People who don't say please or thank you
Customers who order by saying "I'll have a [whatever it is]"
People who conduct entire transactions in shops while on their mobiles
Cyclists who: cycle on the pavement, jump red lights, charge through the green man when pedestrians are trying to cross
Motorists who ignore zebra crossings
People who try to shove their way onto the Tube while others are trying to disembark
Neighbours who set off v loud fireworks at 10:55pm on a weeknight - I know it's technically legal until 11pm (that's a different issue), but it's just rude
"Of" instead of "have"

Cyclists who insist on cycling on the street and not the cycle path esp if double breast.

People who skateboard/kid scooter/play football on the road esp when the street is double parked.

Drivers who pass so close when I'm on my bike that I could take their wing mirror off with my elbow.... Drivers that pull out of junctions when I'm halfway across on my bike making me slow down (took me a long time to get up to this speed you know)... Drivers that are just generally unaware of anything outside their metal box... pedestrians, cyclists, other cars...

Drivers that do 40 mph in a 60 mph limit and then continue to do 40 mph through the 20 mph limit outside the school.

Cyclists that cycle on the pavement, jump red lights and all the other things that give cyclists a bad name.

Cyclists with children in child seats who are wearing a helmet when the adult isn't... eh who's going to pick your child up out the road when you've been knocked out because you didn't have a helmet on!!

tobee sometimes the cycle paths aren't very well maintained so difficult to ride on and potentially damaging for tyres, plus even though its there you can't get up the same speeds as on the road as a lot of pedestrians simply walk right in the middle of cycle lanes which is massively annoying .

Dogs running upto other dogs who are on their lead.Yes, I want to spin around trying to calm my boy down whilst your dog torments him. He does not want to play, he just wants to be left alone.

Parents who seem unable to hold their young child's hand walking next to a main Rd.Get off your phone, stop talking to your mates, your child is only three and has no road sense.

Adults congregating around the school entrance, making it impossible for children to enter, please say thank you grown adults to my six year old when he kindly waits behind you or let's you pass, acknowledge his good manners instead of just barging past him.. Headteacher, I have made you aware of this problem, children should be able to enter school calmly and safely, yet your response was that the system was under review. For Gods sake, just cone off the area in front of the door and make it children only.Place the TAs at the cones and let them be mithered by the parents without it blocking the bloody entrance. An accident is waiting to happen, whilst you continue your review.

People who get huffy when you ask to sit down on a train seat that their bag is resting on.

Your bag is not more tired than me. Fuck off.

People who walk out of a meeting room/any room/theatre/cinema/train seat leaving an ocean of discarded rubbish behind them. Pick it up and put it in the bins provided ffs. Especially trains and rooms where there will be no cleaner arriving to pick up the dirty litter after you.

And not turning off the sound on your phone when you tap out texts in a busy place. Aasrgh.

Yes can't stand the 'click click click' of phone keypads.

I'd also send every person who stays in a hotel and thinks that it's perfectly fine to shout to one another along the corridor at stupid o'clock and then let their doors slam. Hello people are sleeping!!

Cars idling for ages outside the house

Colleagues talking to their neighbour while boss is leading a meeting

Colleagues interrupting whilst you are talking.

Said colleague breathing 😂

Ooh, people who only recognise the major exits on roundabouts and not the small ones, therefore making me think they're coming off the exit I'm coming on at when they're not, leading to all manner of bullshit.

You indicated to come off you knob.

Or alternatively just sitting on the roundabout preventing me from coming off at the exit I want and then getting pissy when I point out their mistake.

You can't just choose to ignore the turn offs you never use you moron!

Every bloody day.

I just hate people tbh, there's a lot of knobs and cunts about

People having loud conversations on the phones anywhere, but especially in restaurants, trains or at the supermarket checkout. I simply do not care about your life, where you are or where you are going.
People who seem to be totally unable to pick up after their dogs shits on the grass, especially on my front lawn.
People at junctions who ride the clutch and go backwards and forwards - put the bloody hand brake on, be brave and do a hill start.
People sat in the playgrounds ignoring their children but checking their phone ....

and given long enough another 1001.

-sanctimonious pricks
-people that complain about our house. "Yes, I know it's cold. I'm the one that actually lives here. Shut up and deal with it. And yes, you have to follow the fridge system, the old thing cools unevenly"
-picky eaters
-inconsiderate people
-people who proselytise
-hairdresser that want to give me a "trendy" look. I really hate that one 😡

People who walk through a door your holding for them instead of taking it from you ! ( students ) 😡

"Should/could/would of" instead of "have", drives me mad. Here's a trick you can use to determine whether it should be "of" or "have": IT'S NEVER "OF"!

Fuck off Yvonne
Absolutely howling at this!

Those selfish fuckers who cough and sneeze without covering their mouths, so their rancid germs end up in your face.

People who use 'loose' when they mean 'lose'. It's so common now that I think it's going to evolve and become the standard spelling.

Those annoying types on the tube who don't take off their bloody backpacks/rucksacks when they get into the carriage. It's the rush hour - have a bit of sense!

Any parent who feels their child is entitled to 'express' themselves to the detriment of others. (Please stop your little brat throwing sand at everyone, lady in the park this afternoon. Yes, it is a sandpit; no, that doesn't entitle him to nearly blind the other children).

Men who think they have the right to make unwelcome comments and/or advances and then get the hump when you're not pathetically grateful that they have deigned to notice you. Just do one.

People who are long-winded. Get to the fucking point. Please.

Is it wrong that it sometimes gives me a really sad thrill to turn on the keypad noise on my phone so that I can irritate people with my, 'beep....beep..beep.......beep beep...beep'

Dirty sods who put handbags on worktops

The bitch in the 4x4 who hooted me when I stopped to let an elderly pedestrian walk by in a Waitrose car park last week. And then did a Duh-face shrug at me when I glanced round at her. Wasn't quite so nonchalant when I got out of my car in a red rage and walked towards her. Lucky for her I am the biggest drip on the planet and my aggressive stalking was quickly outweighed by a return of sanity and a prompt return to my car.

My DDs response when I told her about this departure from my normal calm character? 'Oh Mum, People behave like that in Tesco not Waitrose'.

People who chomp food or indeed make any noise whilst eating. People who sniff (especially in the cinema or theatre) people who clatter cutlery against bowls or plates - making eating out of going to the cinema/theatre extremely stressful for me!

Yes. Cyclists on the pavement (thinking it's ok because they swerve between pedestrians) and cyclists who run red lights. Happens every day -dangerous and idiotic 😡