Gift for boyfriend was not well received

[Lottiegal]

I'm divorced with three kids and have been seeing my boyfriend for 6 months. Things have been going pretty well so far and he seems committed etc. At the weekend was his 40th and we had dinner etc and some drinks. I'd deliberated for ages what to get him as a gift, originally we talked about going away but we couldn't find the time work and kids etc. He's a man of discerning taste, and we share a love of Scandinavia and good design, so I bought him an Aarne Jacobsen clock (a design classic) When he received it he thanked me and said it was a cool gift so I was pleased. Today though on the phone he said he was sorry he didn't like the gift and wanted to return it. I was a bit upset to be honest but hid my emotions and said I would return it. He then joked like 'what would I do with a clock, it's really not me' I felt hurt that I'd got it so wrong, and by his reaction. I did say I was upset that he didn't like it but he seemed almost annoyed that I'd got it for him.
Am I being unreasonable?

Oh that's good news, OP! Hope you work it out.

Doin are you... are you The Clock??

Doin are you... are you The Clock??

Nasty cunt? Really? I'd reserve nasty cunt for someone who, I don't know, caused actual harm.

This is a Woody Alen film

Lottie, honestly, you're coming across as desperate.

doin we don't thankfully all have the same taste, I'm sure you would hate my stuff, and you would be free to tell me, I couldn't care less it's my house and I like it. My friend has spent a lot of money on stuff for her new cottage there's not a thing I would own if you paid me, but I know how much pleasure it gives her so I'm delighted for her but this doesn't mean I want it, she probably feels the same about my stuff. Why does the OP and her partner have to like the same things and why does he have to pretend he likes something she likes, bought for him for his house which he doesn't currently share with the OP. Why can't he be honest I'm sorry I know you like it and have put loads of thought into the present and it's very good of but I afraid I just don't like it don't know what to do with it. and I don't want it in my house.
Surely in a relationship we should all be free to have views and express them.

I'd call a man who blocked his girlfriend like that a nasty cunt.

I wouldn't be hanging around for "actual harm".

A post blocking begging text was definitely a bad move.

Saying thank you & hanging it on a wall isn't dishonest - it's appreciating the thought behind a gift. Saying you love it would be dishonest, but even then a white lie. Making sure that you're on the same page in the future is honesty. And avoids hurting anyone.

Italics: Even though the OP is only a silly woman who should be comoared to a misogynistic film portrayal of a woman, her feelings still matter

Yup I'm just a silly woman 😮

Oh I am pleased Lottie. As others say, move on from this, he is not a cunt or an arsehole or any of those things. I just think there can be lots of misunderstandings at the beginning of any relationship and working through them is what sets the building blocks for something special in the future.

TBH he sounds like my slightly clumsy DH and we've been married forever. You just have to find the right path and if you can both move on from this, it might be a bit of a lesson for both of you. (him - think carefully about what you wish for. Next year it might be a computer game! You - don't splash out till you know him better and sense what he would like)

Lottie, as much as it's good he has unblocked you, has he actually responded to you yet?

"I'd call a man who blocked his girlfriend a nasty cunt"
Good God it's not as if he's massacred 1000's of children. He was at work and he blocked her for what three hours max. If that's you idea of a "nasty cunt" I suspect your going to struggle to find the right man. I sometimes ring my husband when he's at work and he put me to voicemail because he's in a meeting I completely understand, he generally calls a few hours later.

OP - has he explained why he blocked you on Whatsapp though? This is the kind of thing 14 year-olds would do, not 40 year olds.
He can't just block you every time you voice an opinion.

Why do I read arabs name as 'areseholesarebest'... I do have an eye infection so might be something to do with it.

FWIW I totally agree with you arabhorsesarebest

So the next step from refusing a gift is physical harm? Weird.

You've had an intense relationship?

After only six months and long distance?

I think you need to calm down a bit. In lots of aspects.

Arabhorses based on this from the OP:

we were arranging a weekend away together but everything I suggested wasn't right

and this:

I do really like him but sometimes he has said things that irk me, which at the time pisses me off but I get over it.

and this:

He is also very direct sometimes in the way he talks and has said to me he won't sugar coat the truth and will say what he thinks.

and this:

he seemed almost annoyed that I'd got it for him.

It's up to him whether or not he likes the clock. And in retrospect, given the fuss over the apparent ineptitude of all the picture framers in the northern hemisphere, it probably wasn't the safest gift choice. But when you read all of the OP's posts together, it seems that he's able to find fault with virtually everything she suggests. If you're making all the suggestions in a relationship, and everything is mocked or rejected, it must eventually suggest that there's a knot of incompatibility that would be difficult to untangle.

And, as Doin suggests, there's definitely an element of double standards here. He sounds like Harry Enfield's Yorkshireman ("I'll say what I like and I'll like what I bloody well say"), yet if the OP speaks her mind she's derided as unhinged and petty.

No he hasn't replied to me yet but he wouldn't normally message me till after 7pm anyway.

I don't think this is the end of us, if he thinks it is then yes he would be very immature or there is something else on his mind. We just had an amazing weekend together so it wouldn't make sense.

I certainly didn't send a begging message, that would include 'please forgive me.. I'm sorry etc' I just stated I'd overreacted and arguing over the clock was silly. Yes our relationship has some areas to work on now but hopefully we'll resolve it. I think he's just inexperienced in long term relationships and needs to learn some tact and diplomacy

why do you still want him

you probably don't love them at 6 months of weekends

I definitely loved my DH after six months of weekends, moved in with him after a year of weekends and five years later we’re happily married.

Maybe he was very upset about the dig at his choice in cushions, after all OP is allowed to be upset that he didn't like her taste in clocks. Maybe he's bought her a whole set of elephant cushions for Xmas and he's trying to work out how to tactfully apologise for his bad taste knowing now that his jokes can fall flat so he blocked her messages whilst he thought about how best to reply. Maybe mensnet doesn't exist so unlike the OP he couldn't ask for advise so blocked her messages so that he could digest her first message in peace. Or as I keep saying maybe he has a very stressful job was in a meeting with a pain in the neck client and quite simply didn't want anymore upsetting messages from the OP so temporarily blocked her so that he could get on with his job earn money and buy a clock like this.
Frankly I wouldn't read to much into it or make to much of it OP unless you want to end this relationship. Ok he probably shouldn't have blocked you but move on.