Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider not having children, just because of the pain?

167 replies

RentANDBills · 29/10/2016 18:30

I've just had a copper coil fitted.
If this is something you are considering doing, please don't read this - I don't want to be responsible for influencing any choices Sad

Anyway, I've just had a copper coil fitted. It was the single most painful thing that has happened to me.
I knew it would be uncomfortable, but historically have a very high pain threshold so was nervous, but not too concerned.

I've read some bad things online about them, and actually think I got off lightly as the Doctor fits them day in day out (sexual health clinic) and did it really efficiently, no messing about. Though I couldn't lie still long enough for her to properly check with the ultrasound thingy as I immediately needed to go to the bathroom and basically had a panic attack Blush Blush Blush

I always thought I wanted children, though not right now, but I'm really really worried that this will now mean I'm too frightened to do so, when the time is right.

I honestly can't imagine how it could have hurt more, you could have stabbed me through the stomach and it would have made no difference.

I understand that it was a similar pain to child birth, except child birth is the same thing over and over again! Halloween Shock

AIBU to genuinely let this influence my decision in the future?
(I realise this probably means I don't want children "enough")

OP posts:
DaveGrohlsMrs · 31/10/2016 17:19

There are always epidurals! Best things ever. You genuinely forget the pain of childbirth, I had a horrific first labour and delivery but I'm due to do it all again a week today. Labour pain is different as you endure short bursts of pain but you are working towards an end goal which is a beautiful baby. I have severe endometriosis and was always told that was the most painful thing next to childbirth. Frankly I'd take childbirth over that any day of the week. Don't let it scare you off, you could end up missing out on something wonderful.

Bluntness100 · 31/10/2016 17:21

This is why drugs were invented. If it was that horrendous, maximum anyone would have is one baby.

c3pu · 31/10/2016 17:31

I can't vouch for it myself, by I remember when my DexGF had the copper coil fitted.

We heard it could be uncomfortable, so she took 2 paracetamol beforehand, had it fitted then we went shopping afterwards, she was very happy with it.

WankingMonkey · 31/10/2016 17:57

If the pain is the only thing stopping you, remember you can have some fantastic drugs.

Having said that, the hospital refused to admit me for ages and with DD I honestly felt like I was dying. I got diamorphine and gas and air once I was actually admitted, then once I got the epidural I felt nothing. Until afterwards :/

minijoeyjojo · 31/10/2016 18:06

Two things are important, firstly whilst child birth isn't easy, pain relief is available and epidurals are absolutely amazing!! Secondly, for me having a child is the best thing I've ever done! I'd go through some pain time and time again to have my DD.

If you want children, have them. They are fab.

habibihabibi · 31/10/2016 18:16

I put off having children for years because of the terror of the pain and lack of control.
Found out you can opt for CS under general and now have two . Not painless but controlled and manageable .

MatildaTheCat · 31/10/2016 18:24

I have had 5 coils fitted plus numerous smears. Once only I suffered really severe pain with a child fitting. The uterus can suddenly spasm which is similar to the strongest ever contraction but not one that relaxes after a minute. It wore off obviously but I've never forgotten it. Nothing much like childbirth.

Remember with labour you are not in pain for most of the time. You have a series of contractions which last about a minute each at worst. Then a gap of a few minutes before the next one. That's a great deal more manageable than several hours of one excruciating pain.

Stillwishihadabs · 31/10/2016 18:53

Quick update I did have my coil changed today, drove there and back- a bit "uncomfortable" but nothing I would describe as pain.-quote relieved tbh

Obsidian77 · 31/10/2016 21:01

op you know for a fact that caring for a baby is tedious, exhausting and relentless, that a procedure some women find tolerable was incredibly painful for you and that gas and air don't work for you.
You can only speculate that you might feel differently about your own child and that you might be helped to have adequate pain relief during labour.
Sounds like in your present situation having a baby would not be right for you and you're young still so there's no hurry. One day you might find that the maybes outweigh the facts. Or this might never happen for you
And that's fine.

thethoughtfox · 31/10/2016 21:03

I had a 4 day labour. You get a baby at the end of it; it's not like other pain. It's pain for a reason that brings you closer to your baby.

Lickedthespoon · 31/10/2016 21:03

I think that was probably worse. I imagine it was like when they check how many centimetres you're dilated and that was the most painful bit of labour for me - the rest was not so bad in truth. Childbirth can't be soooo bad else people wouldn't do it more than once - plus there is always pain relief if you need it.

TheWoodlander · 31/10/2016 21:11

I had a coil fitted - thought I could go shopping afterwards. Ha ha. Went home, took paracetamol, lay in a mess for several hours.

I have also had 3 babies, vaginally. It is not comparable, and I haven't read all the replies here, but I don't agree it's a reason not to have children. You have children because you want children, pain in labour shouldn't put you off.

I had horrible births, but one like a dream. You can't predict it - IME it's all in the position of the baby int he womb. If it's back to back - just have the fucking epidural - you won't feel it.

It's up to you if you dc or not - but don't let the labouring be the decider.

oblada · 31/10/2016 21:13

Having tonsillitis was far worse than childbirth!! Every experience will be different, trust yourself, if you want children it will work out :) it's a great experience! And I had drug-free births (mostly become I wanted home births - but having said that epidural doesn't come without risks anyway). My pain threshold is pretty average! Don't look at c-sections just for that, elective c-sections are one of the worse ideas of modern medicine in my view. Trust yourself!

MimiSunshine · 31/10/2016 21:21

Genuinely child birth didn't hurt for me. Sure it was uncomfortable and pretty intense and when I really wrack my brains I can remember that I had pretty bad back ache...

But it was the most amazing experience of my life, I had an 8lb baby (just for context so it's clear I couldn't sneeze it out) with nothing, no drugs, no gas & air and I'd do it all again tomorrow.

If you'd have asked me before I'd say I was the wimpiest woman you could meet with a low pain threshold. giving birth doesn't have to be like OBEM

Lifeonthefarm · 01/11/2016 06:28

Can't comment on VB, had a section and will do so again. Natural birth isn't for everyone!

Helloitsme87 · 01/11/2016 07:33

Child birth is a natural pain that your body is supposed to go through (plus drugs and epidurals are around nowadays and you get a baby at the end of it, after 9 months of waiting)
The coil isn't meant to be fitted, it's not a natural thing, plus it's meant to be trickier for women who haven't had babies yet.
Don't be put off! And hope you're feeling better

belgina · 01/11/2016 09:20

The pain of having the coil fitted and childbirth are very different. The coil was sharp & sudden. Labour started mild and gradually built up, which is far easier to cope with, IMO. On top of that there's all sorts of pain relief available for labour. The fear of labour is also well documented to make the pain worse, so when one day, you do have to go through it, learn some relaxation techniques, focus on the fact you are about to meet your baby.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page